The Year In Review

Holy Crap! What a year. It seems like just yesterday we were toasting to the opening of 2008 and now its over. A lot has happened this year. Some of it good. Some of it bad. Some of it weird. And other parts were just damn funny. Here are some of the things that I remember about '08.


January -

• Barrack Obama wins the Iowa caucus.


• Brett Favre eliminates the Seattle Seahawks from the NFL Playoffs.


• Journey Man finds itself on the cancellation list because God hates me.


• Carolyn Kennedy endorses now President Elect Obama.


• Amy Winehouse goes to rehab. God may hate me but his brother is clearly looking out for my best interests.


• Also Barack gives an infamous speech after losing the New Hampshire primary. A legend is born.

February -

• Sarah Silverman announces that she's fucking Matt Damon (and yes that shit is still funny as hell).


• Will I. Am helps create the song of the year.


• Roger Clemens gets busted for 'roids.


• I get heckled for liking Sheryl Crow by a Sheryl Crow fan. February was a good month indeed.


• Obama wins more states during Super Tuesday than the (at that time) front runner. He gives a stirring speech in which he declares to us malcontents that "we are the ones that we have been waiting for"


• Hillary Clinton fans and cougar moms everywhere start to get pissed.

March -

• A pregnant man in Oregon surfaces in the news (BTW he's pregnant again after giving birth earlier this year).


• The now infamous (outside of Chicago) Jeremiah Wright opens his mouth and shows that stupidity comes in all colors.


• Obama gives a speech on race relations in our country further proving that he really could be the right man at the right time.

April -

• The home computer goes on the fritz sending the Admiral and I into a panic.


• The filming of a Porno movie in the middle of a McDonald's restaurant goes dreadfully wrong. Because sometimes these things just happen.

May -

• Keith Olbermann tells Mr. Bush to shut the hell up. When the man is right, he's right.


• Iron Man hits theaters.
  
• The California Supreme Court issues its ruling re Marriage Cases and finds that any law that excludes same sex couples from marrying is unconstitutional. Progress takes a huge step forward.


• Hillary Clinton is mathematically eliminated from the presidential race.


• Hillary subsequently continued to campaign.

June -

• It snows in Pullman, Washington.


• After being advised by doctors to shut down his season, Tiger Woods wins the U. S. Open on one leg, literally. He had knee surgery days later.


• Senator Obama becomes the presumptive nominee for the Democratic party.


• Hillary continues to campaign.

July -

• The Dark Night hits theaters.


• I and others are forced to stop giving out free hugs.


• Barack gives the world a hug (by way of a stirring speech) while in Berlin.

August -

• Senator Obama is officially nominated to represent the Democratic party as a candidate for President.


• He accepts the nomination while visiting the Pantheon.


• Granpa Johnny gives the nation the gift of Sarah Pailin. Would be comedians everywhere rejoice. In an unrelated story, porn sales increase drastically.

September -

• The 2008 NFL season kicks off and Fantasy Football begins. I begin to slip into a pigskin induced coma.


• Sarah begins doing interviews. Oh for the love of Mary and Joseph.


• Thanks to Sarah and Granpa, SNL get's a huge ratings boost. Steve Forbes rushes out to trademark the word "Maverick".


• The Admiral and I get hooked on Californication.


• The United States ends a 9 year Ryder Cup drought with a victory over Europe 16 1/2 to 11 1/2.


• Wall Street crashes like a Zepplin attempting to dock in Manchester, New Jersey.
  Granpa stands up Letterman to suspend his campaign and go fix the economy. He does an interview with Couric instead and the economy remains broken.


• But most importantly during the month of September, the planet Earth survived the immanent destruction that was to be caused by the Hadron Collider.

October -

• Orb proposes. This is how stalagmites are formed.


• The Admiral and I celebrate getting a year older.


• Sarah does another interview, because somewhere a deity really loves me.


• America is introduced to Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher a.k.a Joe the Plumber. We are then subjected to too many references of "_____ (first name) the _____ (profession)". Thanks Granpa.
  

November -

• On November 4th at 8 pm here in Seattle the polls closed in California, Oregon, Hawaii and my home state of Washington.


• At 8:01 every major news organization in the country declared that the next President of the United States of America would be Barrack Obama.


• Black man wins worst job in America (this was one of the headlines from The Onion).
  
• Proposition 8 passes in California and immediately begins to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman and eliminated the right of same sex copules to marry. Strom Thurmond smiles from beyond the grave.


• My football coma gets worse.


• A man in Oregon announces on Barbara Walters' show that he is pregnant, again!
  

December -

• The city of Seattle shuts down for a week due to global warming. In an effort to not make things worse the municipality refuses to salt the roads. My brain, and others', begins to explode.


• The Seattle Seahawks eliminate Brett Favre from playoff contention. Karma's a bitch.


• The 2008 fantasy football season comes to a glorious end.


• Sarah Pailin becomes a Granma (again). I'm tellin you that Corky kid is her daughter's.


• Another year passes us by.

Thanks for sharing '08 with me. I hope you'll all still be around this time next year. As a parting shot for 2008 I'll leave you with the best cover I heard all year.

A Perfect Circle -- Imagine

You've Got Your Jesus In My Peanut Butter

The ubiquitous odd one also known as Orb has arrived. On those days that I "think" I'm being clever it's in the hopes that I can emulate this guy. His Blog will be listed on the side bar but if you click here you'll jump straight to it.

Auld Lang Syne

Smothers Brothers


The Dick Van Dyke Show


Abbott And Costello

Best Made Plans

I had an entire post worked up in my head called "Rocket Man". It was gonna be pretty good too. I was gonna talk about my experience of watching "The Day The Earth Stood Still". I'd planned on telling you all about how the movie was ok and that even though I really like Keanu I just wish he'd stop playing Ted Logan. C'mon, you see it too.

I was going to say how much I appreciated the latest version of GORT and how they seemed to keep it close to the original.

Most importantly I was going to say that as "ok" as the movie was the best part was seeing the new Star Trek trailer again. I'd seen it before but there's something special about seeing it at the Imax. Seriously May 8th can't get here fast enough.

Star Trek





Lastly, I was going to finish it up with a clip of Shatner "singing" Rocket Man that no matter how many times I watch it I find myself near tears.

Rocket Man





But through the course of actually creating the above post I got distracted. Hey, it's not called random thoughts from a spaz for nuthin.

So here is the bonus vid that caused the distraction.

Enjoy!

X-Men: Origins

T.H.E.M. Is Everywhere

If you think you cna forgive the almost poor grammer in the title here's a clip of a new show I ran across. The premise - take a group of magicians and slight of hand experts and give them a few hidden cameras and they're own show. Hillarity ensues.

I imagine that this is what happens when a group of magicians get bored. Welcome to the new age.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Her Other Answer Was All Of The Above

No big lead in on this one. I know the election is long over but recently the folks at Human Events, who incidentally also named our heroine the "Coservative of the year", asked Governor Sarah Palin "what was the biggest mistake made in the '08 campaign?"

What might her answer have been you ask? Oh the suspense is killing me...

“The biggest mistake made was that I could have called more shots on this: the opportunities that were not seized to speak to more Americans via media,” she told Human Events.

“I was not allowed to do very many interviews, and the interviews that I did were not necessarily those I would have chosen. But I was so thankful to have the opportunity to run with John McCain that I was not going to argue with the strategy decisions that some of his people were making regarding the media contacts.

“But if I would have been in charge, I would have wanted to speak to more reporters because that’s how you get your message out to the electorate.

Bwah hah hah hah...seriously?!? Oh gawd. The woman is a gold mine. Will the entertainment never cease?

Bitter Sweet Symphony

This week marks the end of the 2008 Fantasy Football Season. For me it has the same feeling that I get when I'm in the final chapters of a really good book. If you're a book enthusiast you know what I mean. You almost slow down a little during those final chapters so you can make it last longer.

Well since the FFL season happens in real time there's no stretching it out. Instead there's the inevitable Tuesday through Saturday vacuum of activities. Gone is the constant checking of updates and injuries. I can do away with the ongoing search of who's injured and who practiced. Buh bye to the incessant research of past weeks performances and trends. This is what is known as "feeling kind of Sunday.



Whatever will I do during the week without these things to keep me occupied.

So how did I do this year, you ask?

Well this year I participated in 5, yes 5, Fantasy Football Leagues. 2 of them were what we like to refer to as money leagues and the others were for pride - practice - phun (ok so I was running out of "p" words"). For any of you that happen to be fans of the Rat City Roller Girls, some of these team names may sound familiar.

Of the 5 teams 4 of them made the playoffs. 2 of these 4 made it to the semi finals and 1 made it to the championship round. The "$" indicates that this was a money league.

Punchin Judy ($): 5 - 8 not a very good showing in this league. Obviously I didn't make the playoffs in this league. It served as a bit of a disappointment.

Fresh Meat: Lost in the Quarter Final round of the playoffs to the eventual champion. Oh well.

Basket Casey: Also lost in the Quarter Final round of the playoffs to the eventual champion. A disturbing trend but since this wasn't a money league I'm less concerned.

Bruise Lee: Lost in the Semi Finals but managed to take 3rd place over all. Damnit!

Burnette Down ($): Currently winning the championship game by just over 1.5 points. I know it is an extremely slim margin but there is more than a fair chance that I will not only hold on to this lead but that will also be able to build on it tomorrow night. The bad news is that if I hold on to win, it'll be against my best friend. There's a bit of justice involved in that the last time he and I faced each other in the finals he won. In an unrelated event I got married that year. In an equally unrelated event this year Orb, my friend and opponent, got engaged this year. I'm not sayin...

At the risk of jinxing the frakking thing I'm going to call this a win. And now for absolutely no good reason what-so-ever I give you SEX. Enjoy!!

Throw The Bum Out

Our beloved Dubya is on his farewell tour right now. Currently he is in Iraq. You know...the place we "liberated" from tyranny. What sort of welcome did the all powervul oz receive? Here it is folks, your clip of the week.

Happy Birthday Melissa

A buddy of mine sends out a “clip of the week” each Friday. This weeks was damn good. Enjoy!


That's Not My Wife

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | Great Moments in Human Interaction

Long Dong Moron

The 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution provides that all persons born in the United States and subject to United States jurisdiction shall be citizens at birth. So here's the million dollar question. Why doesn’t Clarence Thomas know that Hawaii, birthplace to the President Elect, is part of the United States of America?

The U.S. Supreme Court will decide Friday whether to take up a case over president-elect Barack Obama’s citizenship — one of a few around the country seeking to nullify his election, but this one has an interesting lineage. It was referred to the high court by Justice Clarence Thomas, the court’s only African-American justice.

Maybe Thomas is just returning the favor — putting through a case that questions whether Obama should be president, after Obama said he wouldn't have picked Thomas for the high court.

The suit filed against New Jersey Secretary of State Nina Mitchell Wells contests Obama’s claims to citizenship and therefore to the presidency and initially sought to stay the election. Alan Keyes, who was defeated by Obama in a race for the U.S. Senate in 2004, has filed a similar suit.

During the campaign, a copy of Obama’s birth certificate was posted on his website, showing that he was born in Hawaii. A petition to stop the Electoral College from confirming Obama as the next president has been rejected by Justice David Souter.

Legal experts say the case has little chance of going anywhere.

Way to represent retard!

They're Queer, They're Here, Deal With It

In the ongoing saga of assholes versus non assholes I give you Proposition 8. One month ago today, in San Francisco California, Prop 8 passed and thereby rescinded the right that Gays and Lesbians had already been given to marry legally. IT TOOK THE RIGHT AWAY FROM THEM. The mere thought is so absurd that I don't know where to begin. And quite frankly it would take longer than any of us have for me to get out the anger that this has caused within me. So instead I'll offer up, in it's entirety, "Prop 8 The Musical". Enjoy!

We Live In A World That Has Walls

Right now we look back at guys like Clark Gable, Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Stewart etc. and think about how great it must have been to have had a chance to see them flourish. And although we live in a different time now, we seem to be doing just fine on stud actors and actresses.

As over the top as this movie was it is still one of my favorites for mindless entertainment. Enough chatter - let's get to it.

Can't Go Wrong With This Cast


A Cordial Luncheon



Jack Bauer Takes The Stand


You Knew It Was Coming

"Addict" - Revisited

In a surprising turn of events (at least for me), the improbable has occured. It appears that due to the heroics of Stevie Slaton and the somewhat pedestrian efforts of Maurice Jones-Drew (I know Orb "too many names") this years FFL season will continue for yours truly.

To continue yesterdays theme...

8:17 pm - Steve Slaton scores from 7 yards out. At this point it feels like the proverbial "too little, too late". Oh well I had a good run.

8:31 pm - Steve Slaton scampers for a 40 yard "garbage time" touchdown to seal the game for both the Houston Texans and Burnette Down (the name of my FFL team).

I'm am Jack's complete and utter surprise.

A Day In The Life Of A Football Addict

As quite a few of you are aware I am obsessed with Sundays. Not just with the day but with my particular routine during football season. This being Thanksgiving weekend (and since there aren’t as many games on today as normal, which should make it easier to multi-task) I thought I’d share a little bit of my day with you all.

6 am - Meet The Press is on. Today Brokaw is interviewing First Lady Laura Bush and the Ambassador to Afghanistan Said Jawad. It’s a lot of gibber gabber on the state of women’s relations in that region. I’d much rather hear them talk about the foibles of her husband. Maybe even ask her some questions about the book she’s going to be releasing in a few months. When the MTP guests are half way decent I’ll stick this out until 7 but this is sort of lame so its time to switch to…

6:30 am - The Sports Reporters. It’s a decent program on ESPN where a panel of sports journalists get together and discuss some of the current sports issues. I can’t wait for them to get to the Plaxico Burress story. This time of year they are usually stuck arguing over the current BCS system and whether or not there should be a playoff (there should be) in Division 1 college football. As expected their perspective on the Burress situation is spot on.
As a happy foot note, it turns out that Charlie Weiss has a worse winning percentage at Notre Dame than Tye Willingham did. Happy, happy, joy, joy.

7 am - Time to switch over to NFL Gameday Morning. LOL, they just referred to Burress as the “Barney Fife of Hip Hop”. They also say that NY has some of the toughest gun laws in the country which could mean up to 5 years in jail for Capt. Mus-Tard. What an idiot! All that money and you just can’t figure it out. If you need a gun to go to a night club it just might be that the night club isn’t the place to be.
Even Warren Sapp thinks Burress is a moron. This kid is officially out on an island.

7:20 am - There’s a tornado watch in Tampa. This could really affect the guys playing in this game. I make a mental note to check some of the other rosters in the FFL league to see who this might affect. It also looks like it’s going to be snowing in Green Bay today. It’d be nice to see that game be a low scoring affair. I’m now considering starting the Packer’s Defense (if I get them in today’s waiver process).

7:30 am - More bad weather across the league. They’ve got sleet in Foxboro where the Patriots play. It looks as if it’s sunny in San Diego (big shock). Somehow Norv Turner still has a job. According to Warren Sapp, during his two years being coached by Turner they never once practiced the 2 minute offense. I’m shocked. Marshall Faulk is shocked. Somewhere in San Diego a man is throwing his remote at his TV.

8:10 am - Showered and dressed, I’m now toggling back and forth between the NFL Network and ESPN. All of the talking heads agree on the stupidity of Plexico Burress. Someone else brings up the irony of this event happening almost a year to the day of Sean Taylor being shot last year in his home during a robbery. As fate would have it Burress’ team is playing against Taylor’s.

8:15 am - Brandon Jacobs, RB for the NY Giants will officially play today. Somewhere in Minnesota Orb takes a sigh of relief.

8:25 am - The news update ticker says it’s snowing in Buffalo. This doesn’t bode well for me as I’m playing against the Buffalo starting RB (Marshaun Lynch) and snow means lots of running.

8:27 am - They’re showing highlights from Thanksgiving. This means I have to endure watching the Seahawks lose again. Fortunately it’s a short highlight clip.

8:30 am - They’re back to Lambough field to talk about the Packers and more specifically Aaron Rodgers. I’m not interested in that at all. What I am curious about is that it is still not snowing there.

8:37 am - There’s a wasp outside of my living room window. This has absolutely nothing to do with football but considering the fact that we’re a day away from December I find it odd.

9:00 am - Time to check the waiver transactions. Did I get who I wanted. What moves did the other guys make. Oh the drama.

9:17 am - Off to The Winchester (a.k.a. Sluggers in Kingsgate). Breakfast and 6 big screen HD TV’s (34 TV’s in all) await.

9:32 am - Welcome to The Winchester. On the way here I decided to break my “no line-up changes on Sunaday” rule. I’ll make the change to the Packer Defense shortly. Gas is at $1.91 which is as low as it’s been in about 2 years. The only thing that has changed, supply and demand has not, is the crappy economy.

10:00 am - Kickoff Time! Feelin’ kind ‘a Sunday!!!!

10:21 am - So far the Defense switch has paid off. The Packers have 1 turnover and the Panthers #2 WR appears to be injured.

10:27 am - Green Bay gives up their first TD and simultaneously Reggie Wayne let’s a TD pass slip through his fingers. Not a good omen.

10:53 am - Buffalo makes it to the 4 yard line but Lynch is unable to punch it in. Bullet dodged.

10:57 am - Carolina scores TD number 2. My defensive scoring is now regulated to turnovers and sacks.

11:01 am The Redskins score a TD on an end around. Liz goes nuts. Hopefully it’ll take her mind off of Portis’ injury.

11:07 am - Peyton Manning scores on a QB sneak. The call is subsequently reversed on an apparent fumble. Grrrr.

11:35 am - Susham misses a 42 yard field gola for the Redskins. Lize get’s closer to suicide watch.

11: 46 am - Tampa scores a TD to take the lead against the Saints.

11:56 am - Tampa scores another TD (Garcia to Bryant). Meanwhile, Lynch (Buffalo) runs for a 50 plus yarder. Ouch!

12:03 pm - Peyton Manning has played 3 quarters without scoring a touchdown. This is not good Mav!

12:04 pm - The Giants score another TD to go up by 13 points. Liz begins to pace. She also appears to be doing something with her hair and the bridge of her nose that looks completely uncomfortable.

12:06 pm - Clayton for the Baltimore Ravens makes a spectacular one handed catch to score a 70 yard touchdown. The entire bar takes notice.

12:15 pm - The Colts defense scores a touchdown. Peyton Manning is still putting up a donut. Seriously!?!?

12:36 pm - The Redskins fail to covert on 4th and 1. This unofficially ends the game. Liz won’t admit it out loud but her body language tells the story. In fact she makes her way to the restroom. Considering she hasn’t had any fluids I don’t think it’s to pee. I feel for her.

12:47 pm - Peyton Manning is done for the day. When I needed it the most his final line was 125 yards passing and zero touchdowns. As I like to say that’s as many TD’s as I had and I sat around drinking beer all day.

1:01 pm - in a flurry of events Green Bay scores a Field Goal to take a 3 point lead with minutes left and then gives up a touchdown in 2 plays to find themselves down by 4 points.

1:09 pm - Aaron Rogers, QB for Green Bay, throws an interception to end the game after watching his team give it away the lead. Carolina gets away with one.

1:11 pm - In a nice surprise George Bullo shows up for the first time in months.

1:56 pm - I’m dead smack in the middle of the hi’s and low’s of Sunday. I’m currently convinced that I’m going to lose my FFL match and miss the playoffs. Please pass the Prozac.

2:13 pm - Thomas Jones just scored his 2nd touchdown on the day. I’m am Jacks Apathy.

2:20 pm - Roddy White walks off the field unaided with a slight injury. A fool continues to hope. Meanwhile the Pittsburgh/Patriot game is getting interesting.

2:53 pm - At the half of the Jets/Bronco game Jay Cutler, the opposing QB in my FFL game has 230 yards and 1 touchdown. I am Jacks Complete Discouragement.

3:28 pm - Cassel, the QB for New England, just turned it over for the 2nd time in 90 seconds. Pittsburgh is starting to take control of this game. There is a strong contingent of Steeler fans here at the Winchester today and they are making their presence felt.

3:36 pm - Wes Welker, WR for New England, just got obliterated by a huge hit over the middle of the field. To his credit he got back up again but that had to hurt.

3:39 pm - 3 plays later, Cassel fumbles the ball. Where’s Tom Brady when you need him? Meanwhile, Atlanta manages to score a touchdown without the help of Roddy White.

3:44 pm - I’m down by roughly 24 points with two players remaining tomorrow night. I’ve been in much worse spots but if I were to give a prognostication I’d say its over.

3:53 pm - Cassel’s Tight End neglects to catch a pass that is subsequently intercepted. The Stealer fans continue to grate on my nerves.

3:57 pm - The San Diego Chargers are on the verge of losing another close game. Norv Turner has had two opportunities to see his team run the 2 minute drill. It’s becoming evident that Warren Sapp was right.

4:05 pm - Norv Turner is officially the worst coach in NFL history. At least for today.

4:38 pm - There will be no Brett Favre magic today. Denver has shut them down once again. Another stalled drive. Meanwhile the Steelers have demolished the Patriots.

4:54 pm - Time to head home. I'm officially losing by close to 35 points. Not insurmountable but I'd much rather be in the lead. I am convinced that I will lose this week and miss the playoffs for the first time in a dozen years.

Hung Jury

One of the cool things you get to do if you're a "Lame Duck" President is pardon people. You don't even have to say why, you just do it. One of the thing I enjoy is seeing the list. Especially when it doesn't make any sense. Here's today's pardon list. Why are there so many drug dealers on it?

_Leslie Owen Collier of Charleston, Mo. She was convicted for unauthorized use of a pesticide and violating the Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act.

_Milton Kirk Cordes of Rapid City, S.D. Cordes was convicted of conspiracy to violate the Lacey Act, which prohibits importation into the country of wildlife taken in violation of conservation laws.

_Richard Micheal Culpepper of Mahomet, Ill., who was convicted of making false statements to the federal government.

_Brenda Jean Dolenz-Helmer of Fort Worth, Texas, for reporting or helping cover up a crime.

_Andrew Foster Harley of Falls Church, Va. Harley was convicted of wrongful use and distribution of marijuana and cocaine.

_Obie Gene Helton of Rossville, Ga., whose offense was unauthorized acquisition of food stamps.

_Carey C. Hice Sr. of Travelers Rest, S.C., who was convicted of income tax evasion.

_Geneva Yvonne Hogg of Jacksonville, Fla., convicted of bank embezzlement.

_William Hoyle McCright Jr. of Midland, Texas, who was sentenced for making false entries, books, reports or statements to a bank.

_Paul Julian McCurdy of Sulphur, Okla., who was sentenced for misapplication of bank funds.

_Robert Earl Mohon Jr. of Grant, Ala., who was convicted of conspiracy to distribute marijuana.

_Ronald Alan Mohrhoff of Los Angeles, who was convicted for unlawful use of a telephone in a narcotics felony.

_Daniel Figh Pue III of Conroe, Texas, convicted of illegal treatment, storage and disposal of a hazardous waste without a permit.

_Orion Lynn Vick of White Hall, Ark., who was convicted of aiding and abetting the theft of government property.

When The Goin Gets Tough, The Tough Get Nekkid

That thing they call the Global Economy is having a difficult time right now. There are several nations that have issued their own versions of a "government bail out package".

Today on the drive home I listened to a story on NPR about the French car industry and how Renault is on the verge of laying off thousands of works and out sourcing to other countries like Romania where the labor is much more affordable. It's tough all over. And as the saying goes, "when the goin gets tough..."

At the White Cockatoo (you just can't make this stuff up) Resort in Australia, owner Tony Fox has his own ideas on how to keep business {cough} up. Has anyone seen my passport?

CANBERRA (Reuters) - An Australian holiday resort will hold a month-long, nude "anything goes" party to combat an expected economic downturn, media reports said on Thursday.

"Tough economic times call for stiff measures," Tony Fox, the owner of the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, in tropical Queensland state, told the Courier-Mail newspaper.

"It will be a hedonism resort, where anything goes for a month. It doesn't take rocket science to work out what it means," Fox said, naming March as the risque party month.

The controversial "clothes optional" resort made headlines three years ago when police were called to end partner-swapping parties after a swathe of public complaints.

"You've got to wonder what sort of people go and why. Where is the moral code of behavior and how do you stop jealousies and fights?" Cairns Catholic Bishop James Foley said after Fox's announcement.

But local regional Mayor Val Schier said she was not opposed to the event as long as no laws were broken.

"People in tropical north Queensland are extraordinarily creative," Schier said. "It is tough economic times and as long as it is with consenting adults, then there is no problem."

Australia's tourism in industry is being hit hard by global economic turmoil with official figures showing a 7.6 percent decline in overseas visitors in September.

Industry leaders expect holiday bookings may drop by up to a third in early 2009 and are planning a new international advertising campaign to coincide with the movie "Australia" starring Oscar-winning actress Nicole Kidman.

Fox said his resort was almost fully booked for the month-long rainforest party.

Fully booked huh? Imagine that.

Happy, Sneezy, Doc, & Me

It's been a busy year, what with the Politics and the Football and hell everything else. As a result I'm a bit behind on posting this pic. This is a shot of me this Halloween. I got the idea from my buddies blog a few years ago and when I was unable to think up a solid idea for what to be I went with this. All in all I think it worked out well.

United We Stand!

“And in the unlikely story that is America there has never been anything false about hope”

Today, something happened in America. Today WE elected a president. The margin was not close. WE THE PEOPLE gathered and volunteered and donated in unprecedented numbers. WE THE PEOPLE have elected Barack Obama to be the 44th President of the United States of America. Congratulations sir!

It was a long and winding road to get there. At midnight on the east coast the electoral vote count sits at 338 to 156 giving Barack more electoral votes than G. W. Bush received in either of his presidential victories.

As all presidential candidates before him there have been promises. As all candidates before him there is tremendous hope. This is no different.

As a huge supporter of Mr. Obama’s I’d like to offer my congratulations. The work ahead is not easy. You’ve inspired us with your vision. You have spoken to our better selves. You have caged the cynic within. You have made us believe. Not just in you but in ourselves. Millions of us believe that yours is the correct path. You have made me believe that all things truly are possible.

That in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.

Thank you!!!

But please remember…with all of the Promise…with all of the Optimism…with all of the Hope

WE ARE WATCHING!

Don’t fuck it up.

I'm Begging You...Please...VOTE!!!!!

I don't care who you vote for (ok I care a little) but I care more that you just simply vote. It is your responsibility. Please! Cue the Budweiser guys

The Only Thing Missing Is The Dueling Banjos

This is sad and scary all at the same time. And with 2 weeks left it should serve as a strong reminder on why it is absolutely critical that we vote. I promise you the folks in this video will (provided natural selection hasn't solved the problem for them before hand).

Funny Old Bastard

The 2008 Presidential election has gotten ugly lately. Some very nasty things have been said and there have been some crazy ads. This is why it was really nice to see the two principals in the race take a break from the campaign at the Al E. Smith dinner that occurs every 4 years.

For those of you that aren't aware, each 4 years the two most likely candidates to become president get together and roast themselves and each other at a charity dinner. This year the different speaches were highly entertaining. In my opinion the best of the two belonged to John McCain. Enjoy!!

Start Em Or Sit Em

As many of you know I am obsessed with Fantasy Football. Every week a bunch of so called experts get on TV and try to tell me, and others that share my obsession, who to "start" or "sit". I never listen. I do as much research throughout the week and it has served me pretty well. Well I found another expert to not listen to. To be honest I'm not sure she's even talking. You be the judge.




Yes I know she didn't actually come up with this stuff herself

Do Us All A Favor Will Ya?

This photo was taken just outside of Wall Street

OMG! You're Such A Good Debator!

Through some incredible good fortune I was able to obtain a copy of Governor Palin's debate notes. Now we can all see why she did as well as she did despite not having any real time to prepare.

Mom Knows Best

Yep - Train Wrecks Are Still Funny

Mental note to would be kings...don't piss off Letterman




Well done Queenie!

Palinoscopy

America has had 5 weeks to meet and hear Governor Sarah Palin. She entered the national arena with quite a clamor. Much like Senator Obama she is charismatic and is at her best when standing before a crowd giving a speech.

The criticism that Obama has been able to shake is that all he can do is give stirring speeches and that outside of this considerable talent he and his policies are without any real substance. It has also been said that he lacks the necessary experience to lead the free world.

Similar comments have been made about Governor Palin. Outside of her speech in Ohio on the day she was announced as McCain’s running mate, and the now infamous “Lipstick” speech at the RNC she has shown little grasp of policy and world activities. She has been unable to answer even the simplest of questions with any true coherency.

If you are a family member, a loved one, or even a friend of Sarah’s you need to tell her that she looks stupid right now. I’m not saying that she is stupid. I’m saying she looks way out of her depth. Her answers at the VP Debate this week were reminiscent of a high school kid attempting to give a report on an assignment they didn’t read.

Here’s a question about what is more dangerous Iran or Pakistan and the Governor’s response:

IFILL: Governor, nuclear Pakistan, unstable Pakistan, nuclear Iran? Which is the greater threat?

This is what is known as a “softball question”. There are a few ways that it can be answered. She can simply just say which country she believes is more dangerous. She could play off of Biden’s answer to this question (which was incredibly thourough). She could do anything here except what she did.

PALIN: Both are extremely dangerous, of course. And as for who coined that central war on terror being in Iraq, it was the General Petraeus and al Qaeda, both leaders there and it's probably the only thing that they're ever going to agree on, but that it was a central war on terror is in Iraq. You don't have to believe me or John McCain on that. I would believe Petraeus and the leader of al Qaeda.

I’d like to point out that she hasn’t made any specific mention of which one she feels is a bigger threat. It is a given that they are both dangerous. This is inherent in the question itself. So to say that “both are extremely dangerous” won’t work as an answer. But to be fair let’s see what else she had to say.

PALIN (cont’d): An armed, nuclear armed especially Iran is so extremely dangerous to consider. They cannot be allowed to acquire nuclear weapons period. Israel is in jeopardy of course when we're dealing with Ahmadinejad as a leader of Iran. Iran claiming that Israel as he termed it, a stinking corpse, a country that should be wiped off the face of the earth. Now a leader like Ahmadinejad who is not sane or stable when he says things like that is not one whom we can allow to acquire nuclear energy, nuclear weapons. Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong Il, the Castro brothers, others who are dangerous dictators are one that Barack Obama has said he would be willing to meet with without preconditions being met first.

Well at least she answered the question. But shouldn’t someone have told her that Iran already has nuclear energy and technology? They aren’t at a stage where they can actually make kick ass weapons with it yet but they do have it. I only mention this because I have to believe that if someone had told her this she probably wouldn’t have said that we cannot allow Iran to acquire nuclear energy. Someone should have also told her that Pakistan already has nuclear weapons so they may be a little ahead of the game.

PALIN (cont’d): And an issue like that taken up by a presidential candidate goes beyond naivete and goes beyond poor judgment. A statement that he made like that is downright dangerous because leaders like Ahmadinejad who would seek to acquire nuclear weapons and wipe off the face of the earth an ally like we have in Israel should not be met with without preconditions and diplomatic efforts being undertaken first.

I think we’ve all seen how naïve it is to believe that the world will do as we say just because we’re the USA. Gone are the days of making unilateral decisions about the fate of other governments. Former Secretaries of State Kissinger, Powell & Baker all agree that we must always be willing to negotiate with our enemies.

Oh and by the way, I’d like to point out that she answered the entire question without ever even uttering the word Pakistan. Let’s move on because its possible that this question was a bit too much for her. Besides that my A.D.D. is kicking in and I don’t feel like talking about her for too much longer.

By now most of you have seen the interview with Katie Couric and the subsequent Tina Fey portrayal. Couric asked two fairly simple questions. One is the sort of question that you don’t necessarily expect the average citizen to answer but you damn sure expect a VP candidate to be able to talk about. One other note on this one is that Couric had asked Senator Biden the same question in an earlier interview.

COURIC: What other Supreme Court decisions do you disagree with, (beyond Roe v. Wade).

PALIN: Well, let's see. There's --of course --in the great history of America rulings there have been rulings, that's never going to be absolute consensus by every American. And there are--those issues, again, like Roe v Wade where I believe are best held on a state level and addressed there. So you know--going through the history of America, there would be others but

COURIC: Can you think of any?

PALIN: Well, I could think of--of any again, that could be best dealt with on a more local level. Maybe I would take issue with. But you know, as mayor, and then as governor and even as a Vice President, if I'm so privileged to serve, wouldn't be in a position of changing those things but in supporting the law of the land as it reads today

What!?!?! I don’t even know where to begin on this one. Ok maybe that question was too hard. How about an easier one? Here’s a question that you could walk down the street of any city and pull aside 10 people and ask them. Let’s see how Sarah does.

COURIC: When it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?”

PALIN: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media

COURIC: What specifically?

PALIN: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years

COURIC: Can you name a few?

PALIN: I have a vast variety of sources where we get our news, too,” she said. “Alaska isn’t a foreign country, where it’s kind of suggested, ‘Wow, how could you keep in touch with what the rest of Washington, D.C., may be thinking when you live up there in Alaska?’ Believe me, Alaska is like a microcosm of America.

Seriously?! The New York Times? The Wall Street Journal? Maybe even a local rag. Something. Anything. Perhaps you’re more of an internet gal. Ugghhhh!!!! A fucking heart beat away folks. This is what they’re suggesting she’s ready for.

Simba Gets His Ass Kicked

I'd heard a story about this but just hearing about it doesn't do it justice. The basic synopsis is that a herd of buffalo are out on a stroll minding their own business when they are ambushed by a pride of lions. The lions manage to segregate one of the baby buffalo and from there calamity ensues. This is worth watching in full screen mode.

Chain Mail Revisited

This is precisely why I don't read - let alone forward - these stupid things. My apologies to anyone that read the previous post and got as excited about it as I did. After looking at the math a little more closely it won't work. Well, it works in that you get some money back but according to MS Exel (the only calculator I could find that would actually count that high), you don't get $425 thousand, YOU GET $425.

Whoops!

Like the song says...Money changes everything!

Chain Mail

I'm not a big fan of chain mail. In fact I tend to delete them rather than even bothering to read them. It's usually pretty obvious when you get one too. So today I'm going to break my rule of not forwarding them. I'm going to break it to the extent that I'm actually going to post a copy of the email here. I'm doing so because the premise of the email I received was so fucking good that all I could say was "hmph".

Don't worry folks. The proposal in this email will never happen.

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We
Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide
U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting
every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at
adults 18 and up... So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon
that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a "We Deserve It
Dividend". Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a
tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in
taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A
husband and wife has $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00
to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college - it'll be there
Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car - create jobs
Invest in the market - capital drives growth
Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is
cutting back, and of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.


If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of
trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that
is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every
adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work." But can you imagine the
Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust
my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We
Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in
Washington DC.

And remember, This plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5
Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

- A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

Worth The Trip And To Hell With The Price Of Gas

This is kind of cool. Apparently this is happening in a lot of different places throughout the world. Most recently they've done one in California. What they've done is place ridges in the road. Little grooves in the pavement that when you drive over them at a particular speed it plays a song. Here's an example of the most recognizable example in Anyang Korea. The song is Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Too Easy

Ever see Chelsea Lately? It stars Chelsea Handler, who just happens to be one of the sexiest comics alive. She's not above easy humor either and that means taking a shot at our favorite ex Wasilla AK Mayor and VP hopeful Sarah Palin. Enjoy!

Live From New York

It's been a very long time since I've watched SNL. But when a co-worker sent this to me earlier today I howled.

Hail Mary Full Of Grace {NSFW}

She is Tea Leoni and although some of us cannot agree on whether or not she is hot (SHE IS) we could probably agree that her husband David Duchovney is extremely talented. So much so that I just fell in love with his latest project.

Here’s the opening clip of the first episode of Californication…

Seriously...A Heartbeat Away?!? Oy Vay

So Caribou Barbie finally sat down one on one with out her Great Uncle Johnny there to tell her what to day. None of us believe that she wasn't prepped before hand on what to say but even considering that basic fact she in no way sounds ready to be President.

And before you counter with "she's not running for President" I'd like to remind you that John McCain is 72 years old and a 2 time cancer survivor. His odds of survival are getting worse, not better. There's a 50/50 shot that before the end of the next 4 years, given the stresses and demands of the position he won't make it.

Listen closely to her first interview since being thrust on to the national scene. One of the people in the room has been to more than two foreign countries (Canada and Mexico don't count). One of the people on screen knows what the "Bush Doctrine" is. Charlie Gibson has a better grasp of both domestic and foreign affairs than she does. Put another way...Charlie Gibson is more prepared to be Vice President than Sarah Palin is. These aren't difficult questions here. He's throwing her softballs! It looks like he's a college professor giving a struggling student a little after class tutoring. This isn't hard hitting journalism, he's coaxing her along until she can get the right answer.

Absolutely pathetic!



Does anyone really believe that she can partner with McCain to make our country stronger? If you are a strong supporter of the current administration (you probably aren't reading this Blog but on the off chance that you are) are you under the impression that terrorist will be less likely to attack us because President Palin is at the helm?

Caribou Barbie

By now most of you have heard Caribou Barbie refer to herself as a “Hockey Mom”. During her acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention she cleverly said that the difference between a Hockey Mom and a Pitbull was lipstick. So I thought it would be fun to list some of the other differences between the two. Let’s dance!!

Top 5 differences between a Hockey Mom and a Pitbull

5. Lipstick
4. Pitbulls have less hair (think about it)
3. A Pitbull won’t bitch at you if you want to leave it at home and go to the hockey match with the boys.
2. If the Pitbull is barking outside of the back door and the Hockey Mom is yelling from the front door the Pitbull will most likely shut up when you let it inside.

And the number one difference between a Hockey Mom and a Pitbull…

1. A Pitbull is smart enough to know it isn’t qualified to be Vice President of the United States.

Too Few, Yet Too Many

Today is September 11, 2008. All day I’ve been contemplating what to write that could possibly sum up what I and I’m sure many others think about on this day. It’s tougher than you might think.

I don't think anyone will ever forget where they were when they heard what had happened. And we all remember different moments about what happened in New York 7 years ago. The moment that has flashed in my mind all day is that of folks jumping from the building. The thought that this was a better option than whatever horror remained inside. That the only chance of survival was improbable at best. Or maybe it was a simpler choice of how they preferred to die given the alternative. It gives me chills even now.

For the majority of the day the cable news networks have been replaying the entire scene. Even if we wanted to forget we were not going to be allowed to.

In a lot of ways it’s good that I can’t come up with the proper words to express the emotion that may rise in us when thinking about what happened back then. I run the risk of demeaning it by even attempting to.

So in an attempt at brevity (albeit too late) I will leave you all to consider what has happened both here and around the globe since then. For me one word carried me through those early months of terror, grief, and anger. There was one singular theme that surfaced from my very core.

Endure!

Lastly, a cautionary warning. The images in the below vid are graphic in nature and although they are work safe viewing them might be a bit much for some.

Good Hunting Will!

Aren't we all thinking the same thing here?

"Absurd"

"Terrifying"

"Folksy"

And my personal favorite "Disney".

Good stuff!

Son Of A...

Pale Blue Dot

The above picture is of the LHC. The Large Hadron Collider. The LHC consists of a 17-mile long ring of superconducting magnets and in using it scientist hope to create a particle beam(s). These magnets will be used to bend and focus the beam(s). There will be a shitload of protons moving at a gnats hair beneath the speed of light. And there will be collisions. Lots of them. These collisions have a lot of folks concerned, but more on that later. For those of you still saying "huh", this experiment is supposed to recreate the conditions that existed right after the Big Bang. Sounds cool doesn't it?

All in all, this is a pretty big week in the world of Science. Big enough that even Carl Sagan might've stopped what he was doing to take serious notice. Prof. Stephen Hawking says that this experiment is vital to the future of our lives here on Earth. This week, when they flip the switch on the Hadron Collider or Supercollider depending on how attached you are to the whole deal, some fear the world could come to an end.

Of course there's been some controversy over the entire idea. And I'm not sure if the Holy Rollers have gotten a hold of it yet to tell us all how wrong we are for playing God. I do know that some folks are really concerned that one of the side effects of the experiment will be a few(miniature) black holes that will cause the end of the world. Actually that sounds kind of cool too.

For more on the LHC go here

I know, I know it's all a little nerdy but step back and think about what they're doing. We're talking black hole here. When I was born I'm pretty sure they were just theoretical and now someone might create one as a side effect. That Rocks!!!

And speaking of a little nerdy...Enjoy!

Whoops

Just another reason to not have a My Space page. I'm just sayin!

New Week - New "Pick Of The..."

Well huh

Bobo Is Creepy

Since this is opening weekend of the NFL I thought I'd revisit what I thought was the best commercial from last years Superbowl.



More brilliance from E-Trade

I'm not sayin...I'm just sayin'

Look if you're gonna stand in the limelight and run for the second highest office in our country then you better have your shit together. That means don't get caught in a lie on your first day (Bridge to nowhere my ass) - don't be in the middle of an ethics committe violation in your home state - and for cryin out loud if you've go some shit to hide about your daughter and her pregnancy (or pregnancy) that might put both your ability as a leader and a parent under scrutiny you might want to consider turning down the job when the old fart calls you. I'm just sayin! If its even remotely possible that you've got some shit that could come out you'd have to be Helen Fucking Keller to not think we'd find out. Even Alaska has the internet

And before someone starts in with the "I can't believe you're talking about this." And the "why won't you people just leave her alone." I'm gonna call bullshit because I had to listen to 6 weeks worth of Rev. Wright crap and he wasn't even related to Barack. So with 60 some odd days left you best believ IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!