Wednesday, December 30, 2009

That Boy Don't Take Anything Seriously


Seriously!?! You can't make this stuff up!

Russia may send spacecraft to knock away asteroid
By VLADIMIR ISACHENKOV, Associated Press Writer Vladimir Isachenkov, Associated Press Writer

MOSCOW – Russia's space agency chief said Wednesday a spacecraft may be dispatched to knock a large asteroid off course and reduce the chances of earth impact, even though U.S. scientists say such a scenario is unlikely.

Anatoly Perminov told Golos Rossii radio the space agency would hold a meeting soon to assess a mission to Apophis. He said his agency might eventually invite NASA, the European Space Agency, the Chinese space agency and others to join the project.

When the 270-meter (885-foot) asteroid was first discovered in 2004, astronomers estimated its chances of smashing into Earth in its first flyby, in 2029, at 1-in-37.

Further studies have ruled out the possibility of an impact in 2029, when the asteroid is expected to come no closer than 18,300 miles (29,450 kilometers) from Earth's surface, but they indicated a small possibility of a hit on subsequent encounters.

NASA had put the chances that Apophis could hit Earth in 2036 as 1-in-45,000. In October, after researchers recalculated the asteroid's path, the agency changed its estimate to 1-in-250,000.

NASA said another close encounter in 2068 will involve a 1-in-330,000 chance of impact.

Don Yeomans, who heads NASA's Near-Earth Object Program, said better calculations of Apophis' path in several years "will almost certainly remove any possibility of an Earth collision" in 2036.

"While Apophis is almost certainly not a problem, I am encouraged that the Russian science community is willing to study the various deflection options that would be available in the event of a future Earth threatening encounter by an asteroid," Yeomans said in an e-mail Wednesday.

Without mentioning NASA's conclusions, Perminov said that he heard from a scientist that Apophis is getting closer and may hit the planet. "I don't remember exactly, but it seems to me it could hit the Earth by 2032," Perminov said.

"People's lives are at stake. We should pay several hundred million dollars and build a system that would allow us to prevent a collision, rather than sit and wait for it to happen and kill hundreds of thousands of people," Perminov said.

Scientists have long theorized about asteroid deflection strategies. Some have proposed sending a probe to circle around a dangerous asteroid to gradually change its trajectory. Others suggested sending a spacecraft to collide with the asteroid and alter its momentum, or hitting it with nuclear weapons.

Perminov wouldn't disclose any details of the project, saying they still need to be worked out. But he said the mission wouldn't require any nuclear explosions.

Hollywood action films "Deep Impact" and "Armageddon," have featured space missions scrambling to avoid catastrophic collisions. In both movies, space crews use nuclear bombs in an attempt to prevent collisions.

"Calculations show that it's possible to create a special purpose spacecraft within the time we have, which would help avoid the collision," Perminov said. "The threat of collision can be averted."

Boris Shustov, the director of the Institute of Astronomy under the Russian Academy of Sciences, hailed Perminov's statement as a signal that officials had come to recognize the danger posed by asteroids.

"Apophis is just a symbolic example, there are many other dangerous objects we know little about," he said, according to RIA Novosti news agency.

___

AP Science Writer Alicia Chang contributed to this story from Los Angeles.


Saturday, December 26, 2009

Abstain Until We Attain...A cry for true Health Care reform

As the President and Congress work on passing some sort of substantial Health Care legislation one may ask themselves "what can I do to help?"

We're so glad you asked!

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Snow Blind

The Iditarod is the worlds premier sled dog race. Competitors “mush” across 1,150 miles of snow covered land. They go through mountains, streams, forest. It takes a special kind of moxy to be a part of something like this and most of us (myself included) don’t have what it takes.


The Discovery Channel is airing a show that features a young lady by the name of Rachael Scdoris. She is from Bend Oregon and is the youngest person to ever compete in a 500 mile sled race. But this isn’t what makes her special. What makes her special is that she is legally blind.


If this were a Disney movie it would follow her entire experience. The preparation and the race itself. Sprinkle in a few flashbacks of her childhood and how she grew up with such a strong spirit, and end it all with her narrowly winning the Iditarod.

But this is real life so Rachael doesn’t win. At least not the race. She finishes 45th uttering her motto the entire way. "Trails great, dogs are good, I'm fine". This folks is a very sexy woman. And she instantly qualifies for Hero status.


Daniel Adler Hates Spam

Here's a few random news stories from the past few months.

In the past three years, at least 39 drivers in Dallas have been ticketed by police officers for the "offense" of being "a non-English speaking driver," according to a Dallas Morning News investigation in October. The software for officers' in-car computers features a check-off box with the phrase, perhaps leading officers (and their sergeants) to believe it constituted a separate traffic offense rather than merely an indication that the motorist might not have understood an officer's instructions. The police chief expressed shock at the report and promised to end the practice. [Dallas Morning News, 10-23-09]

The Public Record: From the Findlay, Ohio, police: "A woman called the police early Saturday morning (Oct. 31) during an argument with her husband after he claimed that the woman's daughter performed oral sex on him, and the daughter was better at it." [The Courier (Findlay), 11-2-09]

From the Steamboat Pilot (Steamboat Springs, Colo.), Nov. 4: "Police were called to a report of a suspicious incident in the 2900 block of West Acres Drive where a woman reported that she found feces in her toilet that she did not think she put there." [Steamboat Pilot, 11-4-09]

Five people were arrested in Los Angeles in October and charged with kidnapping and "torturing" two "loan modification" agents who had taken fees while promising to save their home from foreclosure but had allegedly failed to help. [KTLA-TV (Los Angeles), 10-26-09]

Daniel Adler, 61, was arrested in October in Stony Point, N.Y., and charged with assault. Police said Adler had been solicited by a Sears Home Improvement telemarketer and had agreed to an appointment but that when the employee arrived, Adler allegedly punched him in the face. Adler said he had scheduled the appointment only to "advise" Sears, in person, to stop calling him. [WABC-TV (New York City), 10-12-09]

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Avatar Should Be Good But...


This Friday night the Admiral and I will head off to the Imax with some friends to see Avatar. Fox has shoved this movie down all our throats and I have bought into it enough to see it on the fancy smancy screen.

But that's another story for another day.

Today's story is all about Tony Stark. The trailer for Iron Man 2 hit the net today and that means that it instantly became your clip of the week.

Gigiddy!

"I hate paying bills … Son, don’t say ‘me too.’ I didn’t say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of ‘go away.’"


If you find yourself computer bored (as I have been lately) give this a try. Go to Shit My Dad Says and enjoy the fun.

Here's a few examples...

Nov 16 #"I don’t need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I’m old. I’m through moving shit."

Nov 13 #"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face… My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."

Nov 10 #"Remember this: you’re just a lucky fucking guy. If people start telling you your dick looks bigger, remember that it’s not."

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Sex Ed

I don't know what the week will hold from here on in but as of right now this is your Clip O' the Week


Worth 1,000 Words


The Force Is Strong With This One



Remember in "Empire" when Luke lost his hand? They replaced it with this kick ass mechanical doo-hickey! We're almost there.

Experts: Man controlled robotic hand with thoughts
2 hrs 7 mins ago

ROME – A group of European scientists say they have successfully connected a robotic hand to a man who had lost an arm, allowing him to feel sensations in the artificial hand and control it with his thoughts.

The experiment lasted a month. Scientists say it was the first time an amputee has been able to make complex movements using his mind to control a biomechanic hand connected to his nervous system.

The Italian-led team said at a news conference Wednesday in Rome that last year they implanted electrodes into the arm of the patient, who had lost his left hand and forearm in a car accident.

The electrodes were removed after a month, during which the man learned to wiggle the robotic fingers and make other movements.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

I Swear We Lost The Alamo. Didn't We?


I know I've been a bit reticent lately and that the postings have come in spurts. I'd apologize to you all but since you know I don't mean it I'll just say what Zee Germans say...bite me!

Ok maybe that isn't exactly German.

Here's a little something that made me chuckle. This is what happens when Texans are allowed to think. Haven't we learned yet people? Texas is a bit like that cousin we don't admit to having until he crashers your party drinks all your beer, and dry humps all your guests.

We lost the Alamo and still ended up keeping Texas. Talk about a crappy deal.

In approving an amendment to its constitution prohibiting gay marriage four years ago, Texas may have inadvertently outlawed all marriages in the state. And that could have implications for next year's race for attorney general.

The controversy stems from two snippets of phrasing voters opted to add to the state's constitution in 2005. The first was: "Marriage in this state shall consist only of the union of one man and one woman." It's the second provision, though -- "This state or a political subdivision of this state may not create or recognize any legal status identical or similar to marriage" -- that's creating the fuss.

Linguist Mark Lieberman, writing on the Language Log four years ago, opined that from a linguistic standpoint the law did indeed seem to outlaw all marriages, noting that "whatever marriage may be, it surely is 'a legal status identical or similar to' itself."

The wording could raise some thorny issues for the courts -- and for the state's attorney general race in 2010. The democratic candidate, Barbara Ann Radnofsky, has raised concerns about the amendment in her campaign, calling it "careless lawyering" that now necessitates an additional constitutional change.

"It quite arguably goes retroactive," Radnofsky told Politics Daily, "so that my husband of 27 years and I still love each other very much, but there may be considerable doubt over whether we're still married." She was unaware of any legal cases that had challenged the validity of marriage in Texas under the amendment, but added that it was "inevitable" that it could be brought into play in cases of inheritance, insurance claims or attempts to abolish common law marriages.


I consider this to be more evidence that the law makers in Texas are in fact latent homosexuals (not that there's anything wrong with that). If all marriages are abolished then everyone is on an equal plain regardless of sexual preference.

On second thought, maybe we should keep Texas after all.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Happy Sunday!

Bonus Clip. Enjoy!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Happy Birthday Tyler!

Just a collection of Fight Club related vids for your viewing pleasure.

Movie Trailer



Where Is My Mind - The Pixies



Pitt Norton Interview


Back To School

Oww! You Hit Me In The Ear!

It's hard for me to fathom this but it has been 10 years since I watched a movie that literally changed my perspective on life. Here's your Clip of the week!


Money Changes Everything

I’m a bit behind this week. There just hasn’t been much motivation to post anything. Nothing spectacular going on and life consists mostly of trying to not spend too much money while still managing to entertain myself and those around me.

And speaking of money – here’s something floating around the office this week.


Jacket





Hammer Head Shark









Shark









Chinese Dragon


Thursday, November 5, 2009

Selling Out

The economy sucks. Thank you Captain Understatement. To make matters worse there is entirely too much to pay for and not enough cash to go around. So I'm selling out. I'm officially allowing ads to be posted on the Blog courtesy of Ad Sense.

I encourage you to click on the Ads and help me sell my self to the Man

Ladies Man

I don't know what's better about this song. Is it the lyrics or the side kick? Here's your clip of the week.

Make It Hurt So Good



As some of you know I love me some Roller Derby. Hot chicks on skates and in pads…suhweet!

For those of you that are not aware, Seattle has its very own Flat Track Roller Derby league. In past years they’ve been pretty good and have finished as high as 2nd nationally. There in a bit of a talent lull right now (they got waxed in the playoffs) but attending the bouts is still a solid way to spend a buck.

What we haven’t had here in Seattle is an incline track league.

Until now!

I’d like to introduce you to the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds. A Seattle based, banked track roller derby league. Teams are expected to be formed this upcoming February, and actual bouts will most likely start the following year.

That’s right folks! Exactly what I need. More hot, sexy women, competing against each other on skates.

Gigiddy!!


Monday, November 2, 2009

Steven Seagal Really Is Out For Justice

Ever have one of those "truth is funnier than fiction" moments? I dare you NOT to laugh at this.

Like The Song Says, He Was Just Saying Hello


For the record, I have several issues with the below article. When you read the article these statements will make more sense.

1. Seriously?!? There was more than one guy running around in that outfit? Was it the same color? If not, did they look for the other two? Maybe they're in a gang?

2. "He was deemed to not be the Teletubby we were looking for". Bwah hah hah hah! Now that's some funny sh!t.

3. So if you know he was muscular, clean shaven, and had dark hair, does this mean it was the worst Teletubby costume ever?

4. Jerry had it wrong. It wasn't the purse or the antenna that held Tinky Winky's magic.


November 2, 2009


'Teletubby' robs woman at gunpointWrong Teletubby was stopped and questioned
By JONATHAN SHER



Halloween took a bizarre and frightening turn in London this weekend when a man dressed as a purple Teletubby robbed a woman at gunpoint near the city's core.


London police say a gun-toting man wearing a costume of the pudgy purple television character, named Tinky Winky, confronted the woman near Talbot and Mill streets just after midnight and demanded cash.


The woman, in her 20s, handed money to the robber, who then ran south on Talbot.


The woman was unhurt, but misfortune wasn't hers alone. A second man dressed in costume was later stopped in the area by police and questioned -- but police had the wrong Teletubby.

"He was deemed not to be the Teletubby we were looking for," Const. Kevin Lui said.


"Unfortunately, Halloween provides (robbers) more cover than any other night."


The woman said the man who robbed her was between 6-foot-2 and 6-foot-4, 200 to 240 pounds with muscular build, short, dark hair and was clean-shaven.


Teletubbies is a TV series aimed at pre-schoolers that also gained a cult following among some older viewers.


Tinky Winky gained some notoriety a decade ago after evangelical preacher Jerry Falwell claimed the character was a homosexual role model because his antenna was a triangle and he carried a magic bag that looked like a woman's purse.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Coming Soon

While I really wish I'd have posted this earlier I feel confident that you'll enjoy it today just as much as you would have two days ago when I'd planned on doing it. Wednesday The Admiral and I took in a movie - Saw VI to be exact - and as can happen whenver you see a movie there are good trailors and bad ones. These are the good ones. Guy Ritchie is back and he's brought a few friends, Ninja Assassin is extremely Matrixy and Avatar is an Imax must.

Enjoy!

Sherlock Holmes


Ninja Assassin


Avatar

Einstein Was Right

Scientist have theorized that each time you hit a decision point in life you create an alternate reality wherein the choice you don't make in this reality plays itself out. It's a cool thought and makes for good TV if you're a Sci Fi fan.

Of course its sad to think that there are millions of alternate "me's" running around screwin shit up. I have to wonder...what if I'd have stayed in the Coast Guard? What if I'd have moved to Chicago instead of coming home to Seattle? What if I'd have stayed in the Bay area instead of going to Michigan? What if I had swept the leg?

Wait a second...that last one wasn't me at all. Here's your clip of the week!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Assman Cometh

This week you get the Clip O' The Week a few days early. Who knows...if you're nice maybe you'll get another bonus clip this Friday.

Someone has too much time on their hands and for that we are very lucky. They've taken every Cosmo Kramer entrance in order and put them all on one vid.

Giddy Up!

Things I Wish I'd Written - Courtesy of film.com





There have been a LOT of terrible comic book movies over the years, but when one is compiling a list of the very worst there are a few things you have to take into consideration. The first is that any "all-time" list shouldn't include anything before 1978. While this might seem counterintuitive, it wasn't until Superman made a huge splash at the box office that the studios realized that comic books weren't just for kids anymore. Pick on Batman: The Movie (1966) all you want with its big plastic hollow shark (that BONGS when Batman hits it) and Bat-Killer Whale Repellent all you want -- they were doing the best they could with what they had and what they thought kids wanted. Television was filled with a wasteland of bad made-for-TV movies like Doctor Strange and Captain America. At the time, they didn't know better.



The second thing to take into consideration is the handful of truly terrible movies that were made for the silver screen but were such spectacular failures that they never quite made it. These must absolutely be put into play. After all, how fair is it to criticize Fox's mediocre Fantastic Four series without considering the Roger Corman version that came before it a decade prior? If it was made after 1978 by a reputable or successful company, it is fair game. Oftentimes when people make "worst of" lists, they neglect the forgotten, terrible movies of the past for those that stick out in their minds as failures. As a result, these more mainstream movies end up picked on for merely sucking, whilst the truly craptacular dung heaps are completely ignored.

Seriously, if you think Ang Lee's Hulk is one of the worst comic book movies ever made, it's time to bone up on some of these turkeys.

Elektra
How the hell do you make a movie filled with ninjas BORING? No. Seriously. How in the name of all that is holy do you make a boring ninja movie??? While I don't know how, Fox managed to make the world's most boring ninja movie and one of its worst superhero movies simultaneously. If only they could have found a way to throw in pirates, this could have been a triple threat. Instead, this sad, pathetic Daredevil spin-off is just another in a long series of misguided 20th Century Fox comic book movies. It also happens to be their very worst.

Fantastic Four (Roger Corman)

There's one thing I like about this film, one thing it got right that the recent Fox-produced adaptations did not: the relationship between Reed Richards and Sue Storm. It was adorable, heartfelt, and syrupy without remorse. But everything else in this movie? Total crap. Rushed through production in order to meet a contract deadline and keep the rights to the property, Corman actually dropped the ball and made it too late. He lost the rights AFTER making the film and then couldn't release it. Since then, this terrible, almost unwatchable film has been a pirated favorite, sold at comic book conventions and illegally downloaded since there is no legal way to obtain it ... as God intended.

Steel
Remember when someone thought it was a good idea to make Shaquille O'Neal a superhero? Remember when someone thought it was a good idea for him to act? Remember when someone thought it was a good idea for him to rap? Remember when someone thought it was a good idea for him to shoot free throws? We were so young and innocent then. So young. So stupid. $16 million to make, it brought in $1.6 million at the box office. I'm guessing you don't actually remember this movie.

The Punisher
Early this decade, after X-Men and Spider-Man made huge bank at the box office, every studio started going through old boxes of files to see what superhero properties they owned and could throw into production. Lionsgate owned a handful of second-tier Marvel superheroes and began to mine them for box office gold. Their highest profile hero, the dark anti-hero the Punisher, was a logical first choice. Sadly, they made a movie so bad it made me pine for the terrible 1980s Dolph Lundgren version, which at least had style and camp value. This one had a cackling John Travolta in his worst film in recent memory, and Thomas Jane, glowering a lot while looking like a 35-year-old guy who lives in his parents' basement and DRESSES like the Punisher.

Man-Thing
Sound familiar? No? Lionsgate's follow-up to The Punisher turned out so awful that theatrical plans were scrapped and it was dumped direct to cable with a DVD follow-up. Considering some of the films Lionsgate has given theatrical releases to, that's really saying something.

Captain America
A sad relic from the late '80s, this film had production problems and reshoots that stretched it out until its weak foreign release and domestic dump on DVD. The film opens strongly with a great opening scene, then appears as if it has spent all of its money and becomes so ridiculous that one cannot watch it with a straight face. This pretty much requires copious amounts of beer to get all the way through.

Catwoman
Oh. Please don't make me think about this again. Please? Just think of Halle Berry BEFORE the Oscar. Before. Hot. Talented. Only a little crazy. Whatever you do, Cargill, don't think about Sharon Stone in this ... AW CRAP. There goes a couple hundred brain cells I'll never get back.

Howard the Duck
Oops, the first great George Lucas misstep. After a nasty divorce granted his wife a large portion of the Star Wars money, George decided to stick it to her by not making another Star Wars film until after 1996. He was gonna go off and make his own projects: new, brilliant, successful ventures like Willow and Howard the Duck. It's a movie about a talking duck from another planet with one of the creepiest love scenes in modern history. No, I'm not kidding. And yes, it was a superhero comic book.

Superman IV: The Quest For Peace
Long notorious for being one of the very worst movies of all time, this misguided, ham-fisted sequel almost killed the series for good and for all. It was a film so bad it took two decades for them to make another. Movies like this serve to remind us that sometimes even Pauley Shore movies can have merit, because at least they aren't The Quest for Peace.

Batman & Robin
Easily the worst big budget failure of the bunch, never before has a comic book movie done so little with so much. Written (or shall we say re-written) by Academy Award-winning screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, this film sports George Clooney, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, Uma Thurman, and then hot commodities Alicia Silverstone and Chris O'Donnell. The result is actually one of the worst big budget movies ever made. Almost completely unwatchable, this frightening turd even got a mention during a recent Oscar speech. If you need a reminder of just how awful it is, run a YouTube search -- there are dozens of videos encapsulating the very worst moments into one mind-numbing segment.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Clip Of The Week

I was gonna hook yall up with a Snuggie but sometimes you gotta call an audible. Her's a lil diddy that makes me hum along every time I hear it on the radio.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

A No Shit Kinda Guy

Tonight I said goodbye to a very good friend. Hopefully not for good but you never know about these things. The extremely selfish part of me would like for him to stay and for nothing to change. Alas, that just isn't the way life goes.



For the past 7 or 8 years (holy crap has it really been that long) he has been my best friend. This isn't easy for me to say. I'm sort of hard to take. Much like the above clip, I don't have many friends period. But Orb and Whorehito have been steadfast throughout the years. Orb had to leave many moons ago and now Geo is forced to do the same.

He's been the Kirk to my Spock so to speak. And vice versa. There have been times when he was up and I needed a boost. He was there for me. And I've done my best to reciprocate.

It will be a good move for him. This is something I know going into it. But I'm sad for it all just the same. I wish you the best my friend. Tonight, I pour myself a couple of fingers of the good stuff and dedicate this to you.

Live long and prosper.

Friday, October 9, 2009

5 In 5 - Friday (I think I'm in love)

When I started this I had no intention of going decade by decade. Hell, I didn't even know what songs I was going to put on here each day. It just sort of worked out this way. So the last few days It looked like a count down to the 60's. If you are expecting me to hold to form here I'm going to disappoint you.

But because its Friday, and because I adore you all for just being here I give you musical goodness in the form of Paramore. Don't let the skinniness fool you. This girl can Rock It!!

Ignorance


Misery Business


Brick By Boring Brick


Decode


And finally here's your clip of the week. Hayley and the rest of the gang covering the Kings of Leon hit...

Use Somebody

Thursday, October 8, 2009

5 In 5 - Thursday

Ah Thursday. It's the first real hint of a repreive. We used to refer to it as "Friday's Eve". In my younger days this alone was excuse enough to go out and party.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

5 In 5 - Wednesday

Wednesday's are like a bad hair day in the 80's. It's bad for everyone so no one notices how crappy yours is. And speaking of the 80's...

Dig on this!


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

5 In 5 - Tuesday

This tasty little morsel comes from the mid 90's. It's so tasty its luscious. Jackson that is...

Do It!

Monday, October 5, 2009

5 In 5 - Monday

It appears as if I’ve neglected you all. To remedy this I’m going to give you 5 songs in 5 days. We’ll start off with a catchy little tune from White Stipes called Icky Thump.

Turn it up – Yo!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Tale Of Two Cities – Epilogue (A long December)

According to my calendar Summer has officially ended. This past March I had envisioned spending it differently than I did. As Monty says “no one ever expects the Spanish Inquisition”.

Exactly 4 months and 1 day after being injured I made my return to the “scene of the crime”. I was fortunate enough to not be alone (thanks Whore-hito). With sweaty palms and shaky knees through the first 4 holes I persevered.

When I reached the 5th hole the best I could muster was some nervous laughter. My heart was pounding and I can remember times when it’s been easier to breathe. I bogied the hole and went on to shoot a 91 for the day.

The fact that I shot one of my better scores period on a course that had so much personally tragic history surrounding it is pretty monumental. To say that this particular dragon has been slain is an understatement.

Alas, since that day, my golf game has been decidedly shitty but life goes on. What has changed (again) is my perspective on life in general and golf in particular. I’d really like to play better. But if I never do I may just be ok with that. The fact that am still able to play means more to me than I can express.

So tonight I will reflect back on the last few months with a long draw of Scotch. I’ll drink to both the good and the bad because somehow I’m better for all of this having happened.

Besides…next year will be tons better. Right!?

Monday, September 21, 2009

Let The Eagle Soar

The Golden Eagle (Aquila chrysaetos) is one of the best known birds of prey in the Northern Hemisphere. Like all eagles, it belongs to the family Accipitridae. Once widespread across the Holarctic, it has disappeared from many of the more heavily populated areas. Despite being locally extinct or uncommon, the species is still fairly ubiquitous, being present in Eurasia, North America and parts of Africa.

These birds are dark brown, with lighter golden-brown plumage on their heads and necks. It has a wingspan averaging over 2 m (7 ft) and up to 1 m (3 ft) in body length. They are extremely swift, and can dive upon their quarry at speeds of more than 150 miles (241 kilometers) per hour.

Golden eagles use their speed and sharp talons to snatch up rabbits, marmots, and ground squirrels. They also eat carrion, reptiles, birds, fish, and smaller fare such as large insects. They have even been known to attack full-grown deer.

Golden eagle pairs maintain territories that may be as large as 60 square miles (155 square kilometers). They are monogamous and may remain with their mate for several years or possibly for life. Golden eagles nest in high places including cliffs, trees, or human structures such as telephone poles. They build huge nests to which they may return for several breeding years. Females lay from one to four eggs, and both parents incubate them for 40 to 45 days. Typically, one or two young survive to fledge in about three months.



Because “I’m A Doctor, Not A Miracle Worker” Was Taken

So a buddy of mine sent this to me last week and everytime I look at it, it makes me giggle.


Genki Wear, known for its licensed science fiction jewelry and perfumes, has produced what might be the most unusual Star Trek product ever: Star Trek colognes and perfume based on the original 1960s television show. In our latest look at Trek’s big Spring Collection, TrekMovie has all the exclusive first details and images on this unique addition to the pantheon of Star Trek merchandise.

An alcohol based synthetic, artificially reproducing a floral scent
- Data, describing the perfumes used by males of Angel I (TNG, "Angel One")

Genki Wear Star Trek Perfume – A trio of scents from the final frontier
There are three fragrances planned for 2009 with the monikers "Tiberius" "Red Shirt" and "Ponn Farr."


Tiberius
The Tiberius cologne, named in honor of the Mirror Universe James T. Kirk’s challenges users to "Boldly Go" with a perfume described as being spiked with "notes of freshness and sensuality." According to Genki Wear, the perfume has sweet citron zest, black pepper, and cedar as its top notes (top notes refers to those scents that are noticeable first) and warm vanilla, white musk, and sandalwood as its base notes (scents perceived last, usually about a half hour after application). Genki Wear promises that "Tiberius Cologne for men is difficult to define and impossible to refuse" which is also a pretty good description of the Mirror Kirk himself.

Red Shirt
Genki’s "Red Shirt" cologne (whose tag line "Because Tomorrow May Never Come" is priceless) celebrates the sacrifices of those often nameless crew of the USS Enterprise. Described appropriately as a cologne for those with a "devotion to living each day as it could be your last" the cologne has top notes of green mandarin, bergamot, and lavender, with base notes of leather and grey musk.

Both the Tiberius and Red Shirts are 100ml (3.4 oz) quality colognes built from long lasting fragrances for men, and will retail for $30-40 depending on the department or retail store.

Pon Farr
The most risqué titled of the new Star Trek fragrances is "Ponn Farr" which is a perfume designed to "drive him wild." It should only be used once every seven years (okay, that isn’t true). Named for the Vulcan mating ritual first introduced in the episode "Amok Time," this perfume is one of the newly designed products meant to appeal to female fans. More details and an image on Ponn Farr will be available soon.

A Star Trek First
While there was a cologne included in the 1996 Star Trek First Contact travel set (that also included a wallet and soap), this is the first time that Star Trek is getting a first class fragrance treatment in the perfume area. The First Contact cologne had a generic label and was in an inexpensive plastic bottle. The Genki Wear line, however, includes

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Angels Are Sexy Dudes

Before stumbling across the pole dancer last week this was going to be the COTW. But sometimes things just don't go the way you plan them to. Here's this weeks video goodness.


via videosift.com

Gigiddy

Friday, September 11, 2009

Know Your Limits

It’s important to be cognizant of what you can and cannot do. If you reach too far you may find that you’ve bitten off more than you can chew. For example, a few friends of mine love riding motorcycles. I’m just not that guy. And if I ever wanted to be that guy I’d be sure to train first before giving it a shot and putting it on film.

I also can’t fly a plane. So unless I’m the only guy willing to step up during some sort of in flight emergency, my happy ass is going to stay in my seat quoting Fight Club.

My point is that you have to know your limitations. Here’s your clip of the week.


Sunday, September 6, 2009

Shut Up And Watch

It's a holiday weekend which for a lot of us means an extra day away from The Man. In real time it means that I'm in such a good mood I'm offering a bonus clip o the week.

Enjoy!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Monday, August 31, 2009

Music Inspired By "A Tale Of Two Cities"

So if I were to put a small soundtrack to the events of May 4th and 5th it would probably sound a little like this. These are mostly meant to describe the noise going on in my skull during a paticular 48 hour period.

Enjoy!


Bjork - Its oh so quiet


Metric - Help I'm alive


Sting - Fragile



Stone Temple Pilots - Creep

Friday, August 28, 2009

Simple Jack


As some of you may already know we’re in the process of moving. During this ordeal The Admiral has been doing quite a bit of the search via Craigslist. I’ve never cared for this site myself but she seems to navigate through it pretty well. Below is an email response we got to a query she made. The only thing funnier than the response we got is that we all know that somewhere someone is going to fall for this crap.




From: Jason Grover [mailto:grover_jason@yahoo.com] Subject: Re: $800 / 3br - Kirkland Totem Lake On Greenbelt End Of Road (Kirkland)


Hi, I did get your response concerning the AD I posted on craigslist.The house is still available but presently I'm not around.. I did bid for a portion of petroleum land sometimes ago in West Africa and fortunately I won the bidding so I have to move quickly down to Africa to have my company set up because I will still have to rebid for it in the next 10 years. I came over here with my wife, we both owned the house when we got married. As soon as we settled down here I had a thought of selling the house so I have to look for an agent, after getting one, we got a deal but later my wife advised against that. She said we may not be able to win the bidding next time, in other to keep our head when we return that we have to keep the house. I reasoned with her and accepted her advise. So I contacted the agent back and requested for my keys and documents. Later we decided to have the house rent out because of maintanance, we would have give the same agent this job also but the truth of the matter is that the agent would want to handle it professionally and the occupant may not be able to reason along with me later if I let him or her know that I'm letting it out because of maintanance... If you notice, you will discovered that the price we are offering is far below standard price, this is enough for you to know that we are not after the rental fee but the maintainance.. I know there is no way I can be sure that you are the right person to live in the house because we won't be able to see physical before sending you the keys and the documents to occupy the space. But I just had a feeling that anyone who knows what it takes to put the kind of structure down should know that maintaining a building is mandatory, so if you belief you can take good care of the house and handle it like yours then I will be more than happy to let you rent the house.Please if you are ready now to occupy the house and believe you can assist us in maintaining the house, kindly provide the information below for record purpose.

PLEASE TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF Full Name__________________________________________________

Home Phone ( ) ________________________

Date of Birth_________________________________

Other Phone ( ) ___________________

Current Address_______________________________Apt#________ City__________________ State______ Zip________Reasons for Leaving____________________________Rent $__________Phone ( ) ____________________________

Are you married____________________________

How many people will be living in the house____________________________

Do you have a pet____________________________

Do you have a car____________________________

Occupation____________________________

Your Exact move in date____________________________

How soon can you make the deposit payment________________________

How soon do you want to receive the keys and documents of the house________________________

House Address
12457 NE 136Th Pl

Tale Of Two Cities (part deux) - the worst of Time

Time…

Of all people LL Cool J once defined Einstein’s theory of relativity (in a movie) by making a comparison to the amount of time you spend with a beautiful woman. He said that if you have your hands on a hot girl it can feel as if time goes by way too quickly, but get your hands on a hot pan while its stuck on a stove and time can last forever.

When you suffer from a traumatic impact injury to something as delicate as your eye, and you’ll just have to take my word for this, time can feel like a never ending cycle. The memory of the remainder of this day is built in segments. It is a compilation of snippets in time. Made so in an attempt by my brain to allow me to process the entire event.

Time…

I don’t actually remember the moment of impact. Hell, I’m not even sure I felt it. If I did it was more of a delayed sensation. I screamed. Its what we humans do when we feel pain. We don’t have to, mind you. But we do it just the same. For some reason we want others to know just how much pain we’re in. The higher the level of pain the louder the yell. It’s ridiculous if you really stop and think about it. Wouldn’t we all be better off if we saved our energy a little bit during this particular physical crisis?

Time…

For an instant everything went still. Time stopped. I screamed and then everything sped up so much that I couldn’t keep up. It wasn’t just the outside world. Even my brain and the voices that I call my constant companions went into hyper drive.

What the hell? They asked.

Mother Fucker! They screamed.

Why me! They cried?

Time…

They say that in moments of crisis the human brain slows things down. They say that it feels like everything is moving in slow motion. It’s true. I’ve seen it and experienced it all before. You process things at a faster rate than you normally might. It’s why some people can only perform under pressure.

Time…

I came to my senses when Tate and Gary pulled up along side of where I had curled up. By this time the screaming had stopped and I’d regressed into a fetal rhythm of rocking back and forth. I couldn’t tell you if it was out loud but I know my brain muttered over and over again the word “no”.

It became a litany…over and over and over again. No, no, no, no, no, no, no…

Time…

Now I’m looking for my ball. It’s amazing the stupid shit that becomes important to you during something like this. I actually remember asking Tate if my shot had made it to the green? It hadn’t, and the disappointment of this was more fuel to the fire of my discomfort. I was done for the day; Nay the entire trip. My vacation was at a horrific and abrupt end.

Time…

Self pity can set in fast in a moment like this. So can pride. This was the one vacation I get every year. The one thing I do for me! My sole selfish act. It’s a lot of work to set it all up but from the moment I get on the course and hit that first shot, to the moment I get home, is all over is for me. Now its over! Just like that. And there’s not a damn thing I can do about it.

Time…

To prove that serendipity still exists the Marshall pulls up moments after I get back to my feet. It has become apparent to all of us that my day is over and that I will require assistance back to the clubhouse. After some finagling we load up my gear and wind our way back to the beginning of the course. I remember a feeling of irritation at how long this drive took. The “hand on a hot pot” version of Einstein’s theory was becoming all too clear to me.

Time…

At the clubhouse they gave me a bottle of run of the mill eye drops and all the sympathy that the staff had to offer. Hell they even gave me a refund of my greens fees and a free golf cart so I could follow along with my friends for the remainder of their round (I lasted for another 4 holes). Kindness is larger than Pride my Nana once told me. Kindness is also a lot less painful.

Time…

At some point in a crisis everyone, no matter what your station in life, goes into “survival mode”. I had tried playing the “good host”. But as time wore on my base instinct had taken over. My body and psyche demanded that I dig a foxhole and bury myself into it. I made my way back to the parking lot, got in my car, and drove to the hotel. I have driven while intoxicated before. I’m not proud of this but I have done it. If ever asked to recall the passage home (or wherever I was headed at the time) I could do so without hesitation. Hell I could probably even entertain you with it. My mind has completely blacked out the voyage to the hotel.

Time…

The remainder of the evening was pure CHAOS. Not in a shit all over the room and craziness happening all around me sort of way. I’m talking craziness in my head. There is a scene in the second Matrix movie where Neo is standing in front of several TV screens with different versions of himself on them. At one point they are all talking, and some of them are screaming. I’ve always wondered how anyone could remain sane if that actually happened in one single vessel. I fear that I found my answer that night. I lost my mind.

Time…

In an effort to quiet the cacophony I worked my way to the shower. The warm water and the sound of each stream hitting my body and the walls and floor of the tub managed to calm the crowd a bit. Then Shock set in. Why was the water getting cold? I can feel and see the steam getting thicker. When you’re in a hot shower time goes by too quickly.

Time…

Now I’m in bed. I’ve commandeered one of the extra blankets from the closet. Somehow I’ve managed to turn on the bedside radio. I toggle through the stations until I hear something I recognize. I need something to distract my brain. Something to make me forget that I’m in pain. Something to help me stop thinking about how I may never see again. The first recognizable sound I hear is not a song. It’s a voice. The DJ’s name is Tommy Parker. I spend some time struggling to recognize the name before I realize that it’s a Nome de Plume. Tommy has provided me with some serenity.

Time…

The rest of the gang shows up at the hotel. They want to be supportive. They are legitimately concerned. For my part I’ve finally found a way to ignore the pain. I’m focused on Tommy. Play something else for me Tommy. Give me something to focus on. Tell me that there is more to life than this incredibly horrible existence that I’m currently trapped in.

Time…

The gang has given up on helping me. I’m sure it has everything to do with how grumpy I am at the time. Fuck me for being a bad patient. At this point I’m not “seeing” any upside to what has happened. Death might even be preferable to this. it’s a shame the rock didn’t go clean through my skull and cause me to bleed out. The song “Help, I’m Alive” plays in the background. I begin to lose my hold on reality as they decide to head out to the casino.

Time…

The gang is back from the casino and the one thing I’m certain of is that I don’t care. All I want is to sleep. If I can sleep, then I won’t feel pain. If I don’t feel pain I can make my way to the hospital. I just need to sleep. Tommy Parker signs off and I realize that the one person that was around to help me through this has just abandoned me. Help, I need somebody. Help, not just anybody.

Time…

I take as many Tylenol PM tablets as they are willing to give me. Begging for the Sandman to come my way. Begging for this to have all been a very bad and detailed dream. All the time knowing that it isn’t.

Tomorrow morning I will drive to the hospital. Tomorrow I will fix this thing. If only I can make it to to tomorrow. When your eyesight is good and you are pain free, each moment seems to go by fast. When you’re in extreme pain and discomfort it can feel like an eternity.

time…

Sunday, August 23, 2009

War! What Is It Good For?

So before boring you with the second half of the May disaster I'd like to offer you some "food for thought".

I'll give you a hint...the burger, chicken nuggets, and chicken sandwich represents the United States. The croissant is France. And so on...

Monday, August 17, 2009

A Tale Of Two Cities (Part 1) - The best of times...



A little over 3 months ago I was shot in the left eye by a rock during a golf trip. That’s right folks “I severely injured while playing golf". Sexy ain’t it?


This my friends, is what is commonly known as the big effing elephant in the room.


Several of you have asked for details on both the injury and the ongoing recovery.

How exactly did it happen?

Are you on the mend?

Will you ever be back to “normal”?

In an effort to quiet the hysteria I’ll do my best to convey this long winded tale, in all its glorious detail. But after you’ve lost an hour or two of your life reading all this just remember that not only did you ask for this story...you clamored for it.

May 4th:
Day 1 of a 3 day golf trip begins. I started playing golf about 10 years ago. Since that time I’ve come to love it like no other sports activity I’ve ever played previously. It is the most challenging sport I’ve ever played too. I once heard someone say that they didn’t understand how it could be so damn hard…there’s no one guarding you and the ball doesn’t move. But I’m off track here.

I started the day by hitting a couple of buckets of balls at the driving range. Whorehito and I wanted to loosen up a bit before breakfast and so we decided to start off early. So at around 9 – 9:30 there we were. It became pretty clear to me that the day could be a special one on the course. Every shot I hit at the range had that buttery feel to it. Each one felt effortless. Of course I was hopeful/skeptical that it could continue later that afternoon but the more time that passed the more confident I became. I remember calling out my shots to Geo. “Watch me hit a fade here”, I’d say. Followed by hitting a draw to the same area. For a guy of my limited skill this was pretty amazing.

After spending about an hour at the range we went to eat breakfast and meet up with the rest of the gang. The chit chat was good, the breakfast and early morning brew even better. In fact, the only hint of nastiness for the day was the weather forecast which threatened some serious rain. We were not to be deterred.

The tee times were at 1:03 and 1:12 and with the impending weather the course was relatively vacant. Being a bit restless we got there at around 12:15 or so and unpacked our gear. After checking in some of the guys went to the range. I decided to just do some stretching since I didn’t want to tire myself out. Not to mention not wanting to take away from the good feeling I had at the range earlier that morning.

At about 12:45 I made my way down to the putting green which was conveniently located near the first hole and the Starter. 20 minutes later it was time to tee off. Pairings were sorted and gambling stakes were set. It was time to get it on like bang a gong.

Apple Tree – Par 4 – 369 yards
The first hole is called Apple Tree. It has been named this because of the apple trees that border the right side of the fairway. To be honest I don’t remember seeing any. What I do remember is how nervous I was standing over my tee shot. I also remember the last thought I had before starting my swing. As I mentioned earlier I’d had a really good session at the range. I really wanted to focus on the positive things I’d taken away from that so the last thing I said to myself before hitting my tee shot on number 1 was “just relax, this is going to be a blast”.

The tee shot was a low climber with a hint of a draw on it. Not only was it a good tee shot, but it was better than any of the ones I’d hit earlier that morning at the range. “Huh”, I said out loud as I watched the ball sail off towards the middle of the fairway. I placed the cover on the driver and made my way down the fairway.

I’d decided to walk the course since there were only three in my particular group. My friend Tate had managed to top his drive into the left rough about 130 yards from the tee which left him a good 180 or so to the green. Gary had piped one down the middle, and had somewhere around 115 to the middle of an elevated green, with a front middle pin placement. For my part I found myself standing about 75 – 80 yards out. I smiled to myself as I recalled finishing my range session earlier that day hitting 10 solid 75 yard shots. Talk about too good to be true.

I waited until it was my turn to play and then with Sand Wedge in hand I confidently stood over my shot. There was a sand bunker between me and the green but I was honestly unconcerned. As I began my swing I was borderline cocky about the whole thing. The golf gods abhor cockiness and my ball came up about a foot short and rolled back into the bunker.

Unfazed with this turn of events I confidently stroked my next shot and found myself pin high with about 8 feet left for par. The par putt lipped out and I tapped in for bogey. I’m not that good of a golfer. Certainly not compared to the other folks that were on this trip with me, but I’d just bogeyed the first hole and I honestly felt as if that was the worst I could have done. So with some seriously positive vibes I made my way to the second tee box.

The Olypmics – Par 4 – 353 yards
The view from this hole was pretty awesome. Even on an overcast day like this one was. I couldn’t have sworn that it was the Olympics that you could see but it was some mountain range or another. My buddy Orb used to marvel at how different the terrain is here in Washington by comparison to his home state of Michigan.

I started the hole off with another solid drive down the right side of the fairway. The pin was in the middle and as luck would have it my remaining distance to the middle of the green was just under 150 yards. This meant the 8 iron which at the time was one of my favorite clubs. Every golfer has a “happy club”. A club that as soon as they put it in their hands they are confident that things will go well. When I first started playing the game, my happy club was a Cobra 5 Wood. It didn’t matter what the distance was if I could hit that club I did. Well in early May the 8 iron and I were in love. So standing over my shot my only concern was with pulling the shot left of the green and losing it down a steep hill. The shot landed in the bunker just to the right of the green. A safe miss but I certainly felt a twinge of disappointment that I’d played two holes and had found as many sand traps in that stretch. Still if I was going to miss the green that was the best spot for it. The shot out of the sand rolled to a decent spot about 15 – 20 feet beneath the pin. From there my par putt drifted just short for another bogey tap in. That was two holes down and for someone like myself that just hopes to play bogey golf I was ecstatic.

Sound View – Par 4 – 335 yards
I don’t remember anything special about the view on this hole. What I do remember is thinking about where the best place to aim my tee shot would be. It was a dog leg left hole with a bunker on the left side of the fairway. To make things even more interesting you couldn’t see where the green was from the tee shot. After looking it over a bit I decided to be aggressive and try to hit my tee shot over the bunker on the left. This was the first loose shot I’d hit all day but I still managed to get away with it. The ball landed shot of the bunker and rolled to the right of it safely in the fairway. Whew.

The approach shot was a bit of what we like to call a “tweener”. This translates to in between clubs. I’d estimated the distance to be about 135 – 140 to a back pin placement (it was 130 or so to the middle of the green). In retrospect I should have gone with the safe play but I’d been striking the ball well so I opted for a pinching 8 iron shot that I’d been working on. The shot was a good one but it didn’t hold when it hit the green and so it trickled down over the back edge leaving a nasty chip. This made for the first dumb shit spot of the day. As I walked up to my ball I thought to myself that “eh, you were bound to do that eventually just try to not do it too much. You’ve got a good thing going here”. The ship landed on the edge of the green above the pin. 3 shots later I finally sauntered sullenly off the green. I’d had my first superficial blemish of the day.

The Armory – Par 3 – 147 yards
The group in front of us were still on the hole when we approached the tee box. It was just a par 3 and I could see that none of them had made it to the green yet. Tram was sizing up his chip shot and Jason was walking around to the back side of the green. The delay gave me a chance to rethink the last hole and find some of the good things that I’d done. By the time it was our turn to hit I was feeling a lot better about the whole thing.

Gary had taken the distance and reported that the pin was 142 away. I decided to attempt a fading 8 iron into the green and was rewarded with a ball flight that carried it straight over the flag. Not only was I left with a slightly down hill 15 footer for birdie, but I was the only one in my group to land on the green. I grinned inwardly at how well the shot had gone and tried to set my resolve to making the putt and getting back a couple of the strokes I’d given away on the previous hole. The birdie putt didn’t go in but the par putt did and all in all I felt as if I was back on track.


Four Maples – Par 5 – 469 yards
One of the really nice features about The Home Course are the several different Tee Boxes they offer. I will almost always opt to play from the white tee box. I’m not a long hitter or a low handicapper so its appropriate for my game. My friend Tate can it the ball across the county when he puts his mind to it. The very back tee boxes at this course are known as the Dynamite Tees. They’re even shaped like 3 sticks of dynamite stacked onto each other. It’s pretty cool but not as cool as watching your buddy hit one from there. For this hole the distance from Dynamite is 654 yards. This was the only hole I saw Tate play from there and he got to the green in two shots. Wow. I say again WOW!!

I went into the day’s first Par 5 thinking to myself that the day was going great. I was 4 over through 4 (bogey golf is a good thing for me), I’d only had one really bad hole and I’d managed to rebound nicely from it. The drive landed safely in the fairway and as I stood over the next shot I tried to determine what club I wanted to hit on my third shot. My first thought was to hit the 8 iron on my second shot. To be honest I was thinking that two shots with the 8 should put me on the green. But after thinking about it I decided to hit the 6 iron. If I hit it really well I’d have an easy Pitching Wedge into the green and if I hit it normal I’d have the same shot that I’d screwed up on the 3rd hole. This didn’t seem like such a bad thing as I was looking for some personal redemption.











The shot went well although it drifted a little bit to the right and missed the fairway. It landed about 5 yards away from a relatively large Maple tree but the tree was not going to impede the shot any at all. In fact I had a pretty clear look at the green and the only concern I had was in making sure that I could get the club on the ball enough to clear the sand trap that was guarding the green whilst keeping the ball on the putting surface.

I paced off the distance at being 127 or so yards. The pin was in the back and redemption from before was at hand. This time I was going to hit a stock 9 iron and putt my way home for a par. I took a nice slow back swing and began the aggressive downward swing towards the ball. Seconds later everything went black

To Be Continued…