Monday, June 29, 2009

Mrs. Doubtfire On Ice



Sometimes these things need to be broadcast every where that is humanly available. That is why Cyemm and myself are putting up our first ever joint posting. What could possibly be so important you ask? The answer is Barbi Girl.

First the back story.

Some friends of mine are into ice skating. She used to do it when she was younger and has since picked it up again. He does what he can to support her. I’ve been to a couple of the events and as you can imagine its usually filled with kids of varying skill levels. There are a few adults participating but none of them are doing so with any Olympic aspirations.

One of the adult acts has been nicknamed Barbi Girl. That’s not his name. It is however one of the songs that he skated to while wearing a female skaters outfit. You know the song…high pitched annoying voice singing “I’m a Barbi girl, in a Barbi world”…

There was a flurry of questions that followed the story but at the end of it all one thing was clear. The world needed to see this and that meant that my friend was going to have to do us all a solid and get it on film.

Come on Barbi, let’s go party! Ah, ah, ah…

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Want Some Candy Little Boy?


I have no choice. I post this because you've come to expect it from me. I'm irreverent and it is part of my charm. So in memoriam of the late Michael Jackson...

Friday, June 26, 2009

Oh Those Hungry Eyes...

I've never watched the show but this is pretty damn funny! Enjoy your clip of the week!

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

They Are Among Us


They are up to something. They've discovered a formula that sometime works brilliantly and sometimes doesn't work at all. But it does make us watch. Even if its only the Pilot...we watch.

We do so with hope in our hearts and a giddy smile spreading across our lips as it begins to air.

The "it" in this instance is the remake of another fond child hood memory in the form of V. "They" are the folks at ABC.

This time it will star Morena Baccarin (Inara of Firefly) and Joel Gretsch (The 4400). I'd love to tell you more but I'll let the trailer speak for itself. Giggidy!

Meet The Robinsons


In my ongoing "TV is not the devil" series I offer this.

Exodus Earth
If Earth became uninhabitable, where would humans live?

In Exodus Earth, the six-part series anchoring SPACE WEEK, physicist and host Dr. Basil Singer eagerly plays the role of human guinea pig to find answers.

His mission is to investigate if humans could possibly call Mercury, Venus, Mars, Saturn's moon Titan, and Jupiter's moons Callisto and Gliese 581c home in the future.

In the name of science, Dr. Singer subjects himself to extreme temperatures; tests new survival technologies designed to keep humans alive in harsh environments; suffers the rigors of travel in zero gravity; explores ideas for new human habitats in the sky; and more. Exodus Earth premieres Sunday, June 21 from 9 - 11 PM (ET/PT) with regular airings at 10 PM (ET/PT) throughout the week.


So far I've watched 2 episodes (Mars & Titan) of this incredible show. I'm completely enthralled. Singer investigates how the goal of living on a planet other than Earth could be attained by using existing technologies. Some of the tools he uncovers are very hi-tech, and others not so much.

The below clip discusses how the host tackles the problem of radiation (from solar flares) that could hit our Space Pioneers while living on Mars. Here on Earth we are protected by both our magnetic field and our atmosphere. However the Martian atmosphere is much thinner.

Enjoy!

Friday, June 19, 2009

Too Funny

No intro needed, just enjoy! You're welcome.


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Pixar Gets Away With Murder

California girl gets dying wish to see movie 'Up'
June 19, 2009, 2:04 PM EST
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. (AP)


Colby Curtin got her final wish.

The 10-year-old girl desperately wanted to see the new Disney-Pixar movie, "Up." But the cancer-stricken girl was too sick to go to a theater.

Thanks to a family friend who got in touch with the movie studio Pixar, an employee of the Emeryville-based company arrived at Colby's home with a DVD copy of the movie, The Orange County Register reported Friday. The girl died later that night.

Colby's mother, Lisa, said she had asked her daughter if she could hang on until the movie arrived.

"I'm ready (to die), but I'm going to wait for the movie," she said her daughter replied.

"Up" is the animated tale of a grumpy old man who, after his wife's death, tries to fulfill their joint dream of visiting South America by tying thousands of balloons to his house and floating away.

"When I watched it, I had really no idea about the content of the theme of the movie," Colby's mother told the Register. "I just know that word 'Up' and all of the balloons and I swear to you, for me it meant that (Colby) was going to go up. Up to heaven."

Colby, who was diagnosed with vascular cancer in 2005, saw previews for the film in April.

"It was from then on, she said, 'I have to see that movie. It is so cool,'" family friend Carole Lynch said.

But the girl's health began to deteriorate. On June 4, Curtin asked a hospice company to bring a wheelchair so that her daughter could go to a movie theater but the chair was not delivered over the weekend, Curtin said.

By June 9, Colby was too sick to go anywhere.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Douche Bag Says What? Hah - Gotcha!


Being that its almost Friday its time to give you a ____ of the week. Now I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t he already give us one? Indeed I did but because I love ya all so much I’m tossing you a bonus of the week.

I toyed with the idea of call this the Douche Bag of the Week but I thought that would be an insult to DB’s all over the land. Jackass just didn’t seem to cover it for this guy so that was out. Ultimately I’ve decided to go with Mo Fo. And for the acronym impaired that’s Mothah Fuckah. So without further hesitation I’d like to announce that Warren Appleton MD is the Mother Fucker of the Week.

Since I know you’re wondering why I’ve decided to pick on Warren I’ll do you a solid and share it with you.

You see folks on May 5th while in the emergency room I had the opportunity to meet Warren. He and I spent a glorious 5 minutes together. During this time he looked deeply into my eye and decided quickly that he was not knowledgeable enough in ocular medicine to assist me.

In this wonderful 5 minute period he suggested that I drive to see an Optometrist located several miles away. I was less than enthusiastic about this idea, a story that I promise to share with you all some day. The point of this rant is that he spent little to zero time helping me and then referred me to someone else.

And what did this joy of a man feel his time was worth during my moment of need? What would the “Physicians Portion of Emergency Dept Care” bill amount to? I’m glad you asked.

This asshole sent me a bill for $337.00. That’s right ladles and germs…5 minutes…$337 bucks. This is why I’m pleased to present to you “Dr.” Warren Appleton – your Mothah Fuckah Of The Week!!

“Yall goan make me lose my mind up in heah”

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Clip Of The Week

This weeks clip comes a couple of days early and we’re gonna keep it local (she’s from Tacoma). Here’s an interesting take on popular kids song as performed by Debra Page.

Monday, June 15, 2009

You Wanna Piece Of Me?




Or do you want the whole damn thing?

This will sound like a bit of a whine to some (even to myself). Part of being an adult means having responsibilities. It’s the whole Stan Lee/Peter Parker thing, “with great power comes great responsibility”. I grew up collecting Comic books so I’ve subscribed to this sort of ideal since I was a wee lad. So much so that I’ve often tried to shoulder more of the load than I’m capable of. It has been referred to as the Superman complex. A Superman Complex is an unhealthy sense of responsibility, or the belief that everyone else lacks the capacity to successfully perform any task. Such a person may feel a constant need to "save" others

Thank you Wikipedia!

Although I’m not positive I really believe that two of my closest friends suffer from this affliction as well (B-Mac & Whorehito). The problem with this idea is that you can’t solve all of the worlds problems. Its just not possible. The other problem with this idea is that despite being aware of the absolute certainty of problem #1 that will never stop me from trying.




So when a day like today comes around, and you don’t realize that your own personal battery is running drastically low, tackling the worlds problems - or at the very least the stupid personally localized ones that come your way - can seem almost impossible. It’s at times like these that the idiot mobile seems to be packed to the gills.

But when the battery is low life’s pressures can get to you fairly easily. It can be just about anything no matter how small.

Money - Is everything paid for? Do you know where your next source of income is coming from? Are you short on cash? Maybe you didn’t get the promotion you know you deserved.





Work - Not getting enough respect from your boss? Your peers? Carrying too much of the load? Still trying to find employment after being let go? Maybe you just been reassigned to an area that makes you feel uncomfortable. Are you doing two jobs because they let half the staff go?





Home - Are you alone? Is your partner more of a sidekick? Are you unable to resolve some longstanding issue that stands between you? Got the in-laws coming to visit soon? Maybe the ‘rents live with you.





The point I’m trying to make is that pressure comes from all areas and I haven’t even scratched the surface with my sorry little list. The world comes to your stoop everyday and knocks on the door asking for a piece of your sorry ass. If you decide to refuse or fight against it, the world says fuck you and takes it anyway like a child hood bully stealing your milk money on a 3rd grade playground.

Despite all of the above its true what they say in “Shawshank”. Get busy livin’. It really is just that simple. No matter how hard it seems sometimes. What I find helpful is what I refer to as “downshift time”. These are the moments that are just for me. Those moments that no one places any demands on my time. Those moments that are just for me. They are rare. But then how many times did you ever see Supes fly off to his Fortress of Solitude?

And to my friends and loved ones, the below vid is not a cry for help or a vague suicide note. It is however the first song that came to mind when composing this post. No need for concern…just blowin off a lil steam. Welcome to Rehab.











Friday, June 12, 2009

…The Sincerest Form Of Flattery

It has been said that plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery. With this in mind I’m going to take a crack at one of my favorite segments that the folks over at Esquire magazine publish each month. The segment is commonly known as “What I’ve Learned” and each month they ask someone to list some random thoughts on what they’ve learned during their stay here on Space Ship Earth. Here’s what I’ve learned…


Things are rarely as bad as you think they are. They’re also never as good.

Never be afraid to fall in love. You will be hurt a lot. Hell possibly even most of the time. But you’ll miss out on real love if you shy away from it.

People are the most important thing. Not money or any other material gains. Its always been people. Your relationships, your friends& loved ones, and even your enemies (if you have any); cherish every interaction.

Don’t get me wrong though, Money helps.

A lot!!

Every man above the age of 39 should own his own tuxedo. Black, fitted, standard lapel with 2 buttons please. There aren’t many places you can’t get into and you’ll be appreciated for your style.

Plato was right. You can tell a lot about a person just by the way he competes against others.

Be smart enough to know what you don’t know. No one can be an expert at everything and only a fool tries. You don’t need to know it all, but it helps to know where to go for the answer. The wisest of moments are often the ones when you can say with sincerity, “I don’t know but I’ll see if I can find out”.

Sometimes doing nothing is the right thing to do. It’s also often the hardest.

Read

Laugh as often as is appropriate. Then laugh a little more. It’s healthier. You’ll look a little crazy at times but in the end you’ll be happier.

Speaking of crazy – every once in a while it’s ok to remind the voices in your head that they’re just passengers along for the ride.

Be kind to your Mom. Moms are special creatures and they are the one person that will truly love you unconditionally.

Never be afraid to work hard and get your hands dirty. You’ll be a better person for it each time.

Good scotch is underappreciated.

Clip Of The Week



Today is June 12th and as such it marks yet another full year that I haven’t screwed things up enough for the Admiral to leave my dumb ass (this is how us guys think of it). That’s right folks, today is our anniversary. Thank you darlin’ for putting up with all my shit!

Here’s the clip of the week

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Please Add Another Word to George Carlin's List


Kingston is a tiny little town about 10 minutes outside of Greenville Texas. It is essentially a dusty suburb of it. Apparently they are a bit religious in that part of the world. There are more than 75 churches in the area (yes Orb I counted), and they’ve all got their Jesus in your peanut buter.


KINGSVILLE, Texas (AP) -- In this friendly little ranching town, "hello" is wearing out its welcome. And Leonso Canales Jr. is happy as heck.


At his urging, the Kleberg County commissioners on Monday unanimously designated "heaven-o" as the county's official greeting. The reason: "hello" contains the word "hell."


"When you go to school and church, they tell you 'hell' is negative and 'heaven' is positive,'" said the 56-year-old Canales, who owns the Kingsville Flea Market. "I think it's time that we set a new precedent, to tell our kids that we are positive adults.


"The new salutation, according to the county resolution, is a "symbol of peace, friendship and welcome" in this "age of anxiety.


"On Thursday, courthouse employees were answering the phones, "heaven-o." And the chamber of commerce was working on a campaign promoting Kingsville, a Rio Grande Valley town of 25,000, as a "heavenly" place to visit.


"People seem to think that it might catch on," said county Judge Pete De La Garza.Not everyone is a convert to Kleberg County's heavenly ways. Madolyn Musick, who runs a bookstore, insisted, and linguists would agree, that "hello" has nothing to do with "hell." Besides, she added,


"What's wrong with, 'Howdy, y'all?'"Canales, a Catholic but not a regular churchgoer, has been as serious as heck about "hello" since 1988, when he told his brother he might start greeting people with "God-o." His brother suggested "heaven-o" instead.


David Sabrio, a professor of English at Texas A&M University-Kingsville, noted that the Oxford English Dictionary says "hello" stems from an old German greeting for hailing a boat.


"Linguistically and historically, the word 'hello' has no connection at all with what we associate with the underworld," he said. "People may make that connection in their own mind. I certainly don't."



Monday, June 8, 2009

Count Chocula Unavailable for Comment

SACRAMENTO, CA - A federal judge has dismissed a lawsuit from a California woman who claimed she was deceived into buying Cap'n Crunch cereal during a four-year period because she thought "Crunch Berries" were real fruit.

It's important for food companies to disclose relevant information to the public so that consumers can make informed decisions about what they eat.

For example, Cap'n Crunch should make it abundantly clear that the berries in its cereal are not real fruit so that Californian Janine Sugawara can intelligently balance her diet.

News 10 in Sacramento reports that Sugawara filed a class-action lawsuit against the makers of Cap'n Crunch cereal last June because one product's label misled her. She bought Cap'n Crunch cereal for four years because she thought the Crunch Berries were real fruit.

Federal Judge Morrison England, Jr. dismissed the suit, saying, "a reasonable consumer would have understood the product packaging to expressly warrant only that the product contained sweetened corn and oat cereal, which it did."

"As far as this court has been been made aware, there is no such fruit (Crunch Berries) growing in the wild or occurring naturally in any part of the world," England wrote.

England also noted that Sugawara's lawyer, Harold Hewell, filed a simliar suit against Fruit Loops that was also thrown out of court.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Gamalons Can Suck It

I've struggled a little with what I wanted the next "...of the week" to be. I usually have the most fun with naming a "Jackass". But for the most part these should probably be spread out a little. Since the accident I've cut down on drinking so there isn't as much inspiration for a "drink of the week". And since even I get a little weary of the vid clips I hesitate to fall back onto it but alas...

This weeks clip comes from days gone by. The one favor I'm asking of the universe is that they please do everything possible to stop Will Ferrell from spoiling yet another memory of my child hood.

Here's your Clip Of The Week

Friday, June 5, 2009

Now Serving Number 69





Welcome to the “Interesting News” portion of our program. In today’s segment we discuss the impact the current economy is having on the oldest profession




Nev. brothel hopes male prostitutes boost business


By KATHLEEN HENNESSEY, Associated Press Writer Kathleen Hennessey, Associated Press Writer Thu Jun 4, 3:41 pm ET

LAS VEGAS – The owner of a Nevada brothel suffering from the recession thinks she has been ignoring about half the market — the half that prefers men.


Bobbi Davis is looking for male prostitutes to help expand the clientele at the Shady Lady Ranch, her small roadside brothel about 150 miles north of Las Vegas.


"We've had requests for men in the past, and there's nothing else like this out there," she said.
Indeed, the 25 legal brothels scattered throughout 10 rural Nevada counties are staffed by women and cater to men. The Shady Lady, however, isn't the only one thinking about hiring male prostitutes.


Nevada Brothel Association lobbyist George Flint says other brothels have approached him with the idea lately to drum up business.


Like Nevada's gambling, hotel and convention industries, the prostitution business has hit hard times. Flint estimates that bordellos have seen a roughly 50 percent drop in revenue since the economy turned sour.


"Business is so bad right now, I think brothels would do anything to survive. Disposable income is just in short supply at the moment," he said.


Former Hollywood madam Heidi Fleiss recently planned to open "Heidi's Stud Farm" near Pahrump, but gave up the effort this year after being arrested on felony drug charges.


Flint says other brothels have offered male prostitutes over the years, with little success. He argues that the business model for a brothel that caters to women just doesn't pencil out.


"Seducing a woman and seducing a man in a brothel environment are different things completely. One can take a few minutes, the other can take hours. It wouldn't make money," he said.


Davis agrees that women customers could differ significantly from men, though she plans at least initially to keep her current prices for services — $500 for two hours, $800 for three.


"That may change. We're figuring that women may want a longer period of time, maybe a little more romance. They're not quite like men in that respect," she said.


Davis said the requests she has received for male prostitutes have come mostly from women, but that she also would welcome business from men seeking men.


"I can't discriminate, nor would I want to," she said, adding that it would be up to prostitutes to decide whether they entertain any particular guest.


Licensing male prostitutes might be a problem. State law allows for legal prostitutes of both genders, but the health codes that regulate the business largely are written to apply to female prostitutes. That includes a requirement that the working girls have mandatory cervical exams.
"It's kind of hard to do that with a man," Davis said.


Nye County Sheriff Tony DeMeo, whose office administers work cards for prostitutes, said he's aware of Davis' plan and has sought legal advice from the district attorney.
Meanwhile, Davis is drawing up her help wanted ad. She said she'll be looking for one or two men "in good shape, in their mid-30s to 50s." Asked about the age range, she notes that's another way women differ from men.


"Look at George Clooney, he's 50 and he's still considered a very sexy man. Women don't consider a man washed up by the time he's 50," she said.


Prostitution is outlawed in five Nevada counties, including in the Reno and Las Vegas metropolitan areas, but brothels have operated legally elsewhere in the state since