Thursday, April 30, 2009

Swine Flu Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Many of you have expressed some concern lately over my health. First of all, thank you! Despite my bravado and puffed out chest I was concerned as well. Waking up in the middle of the night with chest pains will do that. Still, I’ve never been one to ask for help and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. As the one eyed sailor would say, “I am what I am”.


Everyone handles stress in different ways. Some binge on comfort foods. Some drink. Some tend to get louder and more boisterous. Me? I tend to create a mental bunker and prepare myself for a long winter. It doesn’t make me the easiest person to be around. I’m a guy, and expressing or sharing my feelings just isn’t high on my list of shit to do today. Tomorrow’s a long shot as well. Those of you in my life that I call friends and loved ones know this about me and have on some level accepted it. For that, and many other reasons, I adore you.



The good news is that I have been given a clean bill of health. EKG was pristine. Cholesterol levels are right where they should be. Blood pressure is only moderately high and not enough for medication. All across the board things were gravy to include the biggie of blood sugar. Mama Aagro has diabetes so this is one that I was really concerned about. I don't mind saying that when they gave me the news it felt like I’d just sank a 50 footer for birdie.



Last night I slept more soundly than I have in months. It’s amazing how much this sort of news will ease the soul. So to all of you that have given me that furrowed brow look of disappointment these last few months over my health this thank you is for you. And in case you're wondering yes that is Brian May of Queen fame on guitar and Phil Collins on the drums.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Ahh Luft Balloons

The sun is shining and Spring is finally here so here's a bonus clip for the weekend!

Clip Of The Week

From the first moment The Admiral showed her to me I’ve had a bit of a crush on Rachael Ray. She’s cute and bubbly and kind of sexy in an “aw shucks, is that your neighbor” sort of way.

And speaking of aw shucks – here it is – your clip of the week

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

TV Is Good For You. Trust Me!



This past Sunday I watched a pretty interesting show on TV. The name of it is “Life After People” courtesy of The History Chanel. It was good enough that I believe that even the anti TV snobs will think this is worth watching.

The premise of it is to show what would happen to all of the things that would be left behind if the human race suddenly disappeared from the planet earth. What would happen to the bridges and buildings? What about the Sistine Chapel, or The Statue of Liberty? You get the idea.

I was absolutely riveted to the tube as the scientific explanations for each story unfolded. The good news for you folks is that I watched the opening episode via Comcast On Demand. The show actually begins airing tonight on the History Chanel.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Clip Of The Week

This weeks clip was originally going to be from Snatch but then I was sent this from a co-worker.

I'm going to do you all a solid and share it.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

The United States of Aagro



Yesterday during what has now been officially dubbed a “Tea Bagging” ceremony Governor Rick Perry suggested that the state of Texas should consider seceding from the union.

What he actually said was, “Texas is a unique place. Uhm, when we came into the union in 1845 uh one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decided to do that…my hope is that America and Washington in particular pays attention. We’ve got a great union and there’s no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their noses at the American people who knows what may come out of that."


Loosely translated he is suggesting that they no longer be part of the United States of America because he doesn’t care for the government telling them what to do. Folks, listening to the Governor of Texas complain about the government is the political equivalent of hearing George Costanza bitch about bald people. YOU ARE THE GOVERNMENT ASSHOLE!!!

Still this is not the first time that the word secession has been bandied around. There is a proposal out there called the H.CR.50 that several states have looked seriously at. When I lived in Alaska it was a given that the each time the local state ballot came around there would be some legislation suggesting that Alaska no longer be part of the rest of the country.


So Texas and Alaska don’t want to be part of this great nation anymore. Fine with me! Get the fuck out. In fact, a few months ago, while having dinner with friends we discussed how it might be time to trim some of the proverbial fat.

So here’s a list of the top 5 states and or regions that I firmly believe we could do without.

1. Oklahoma & Texas - Now that Dubya is back in Midland let’s just do away with the whole damn area. Didn’t we lose the Alamo? You fuckers want to be your own country so bad then I say so be it. And take Oklahoma with you. In fact let me put it into words that you’ll understand. “Go on an git, ya sumbitches”.

2. Alaska - Have I thanked you yet for Governor Palin? I wonder why that is? The fact of the matter is that other than oil Alaska isn’t really giving us much of anything. And last I checked we were trying to become less dependant on oil. Well let’s get started then.

3. Kentucky & Ohio - You dumb asses are fighting over a rock. Nuff said.


4. New Mexico - An entire state of nothing. It just sits there. It’s an absolute wasteland. Have you ever met anyone that was proud to say they were from New Mexico? Ever wonder why?

5. Louisiana - It’s bad enough that you live in hurricane country but you keep rebuilding a city below sea level. How stupid are you? Maybe the next time it gets flooded over you could possibly elevate it a little bit. Just a thought.

If your state didn’t make the list don’t worry. There’s a few of you that are headed straight for probation. Time to shape up Montana, Alabama and a few of you others.








Friday, April 10, 2009

Happy Easter Weekend!

Ya bunch of nut bags!!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Clip Of The Week

I’ve been on a bit of a break from posting as I attempt to re-center my chi and all that crap. Translation…I’ve been feeling out of sorts and this usually means that my gibberish takes on a dark tone. In the interest of not passing that mood on to the rest of the masses I’ve opted to just keep my damn fool mouth shut.

But today this made me very happy.