The Thinning Of The Herd Continues

I don’t even know where to begin. This is tragically funny, and if there was a video Tosh.0 would be all over it. Do you remember the scene at the end of T2? The one where Arnie is being lowered into the molten pit at the factory? Well this is tons better because it's real life.

This story provides an important reminder for workers: They can put their lives at risk while trying to save a co-worker. The best action is to contact trained emergency responders.
Six workers drowned after falling into a giant vat of ketchup at a plant in Lucknow, India.

The chain of events started when one worker fell into the 20-foot deep tank.

Police say, as five co-workers dived in to save her, they were all overcome by fumes given off from fermenting vegetables and drowned.

Two more workers were hospitalized.

Investigators say the woman was scooping fermented vegetables from the vat when she slipped off her ladder and plunged into the tank.

The factory owner was taken into custody.

I Hate Myself For This One

It's shameful how much I like this stupid video but...

Here's your Clip O' the Week!

The Jew Of Bel Air

I know he's no Will Smith but wouldn't you like to know the story about how this guys life got flipped and turned upside down until he became the Fresh Jew of Bel Air?

Here's your Clip O' The Week

The Holograms' Dignity Remains Intact

The Admiral and I dig karaoke. For those of you that know us this is no surprise. We're not the best singers but we are no where near the worst. For the most part we can hold our own. Although we have some songs that we could call "fall backs" or "old standby's" we don't always sing the same ol' stuff. We tend to branch out and attempt songs that we've never tried but have always wanted to. I once went through the entire alphabet and picked out songs based on whatever the next letter was. I think it took me about 3 months to finish.

The folks over at Funny Or Die (a site I really love BTW) thought it would be a good idea to disquise Jewel and send her to a local Karaoke bar. The disquise was pretty good, and to FOD's credit she looks nothing like her normal everyday self. In fact she looks a little more like the chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding.

Once at the bar she would be "convinced" to get up and sing a song or two. The key being that the songs were going to all be "Jewel" songs. It was a lame idea when Jessica morphed into Jem and it's not much better now. In fact I hearby declare this to be the lamest of the lame. It's impressive during Karaoke when a non-professional gets up and sings something really well.

It's not impressive when you get up and sing your own shit. No one is going to give Stephen Tyler extra credit for singing an Aerosmith song no matter how crazy his range is. Marshal Mathers gets zero kudos if he goes to his local pub and performs Lose Yourself. So, I'm sorry to inform you Jewel, but what you did was just STOOPID with a capital Dumb! You can see all about it in the below clip.

Undercover Karaoke with Jewel from Jewel

I'm All A-Twitter For Soccer

Courtesy of the Huffington Post.

In a year already featuring odd World Cup promises, porn star Bobbi Eden appears to have outdone her competitors. The Dutch erotic actress wrote on Twitter that she "will give a BJ to all my followers" if the Netherlands wins the soccer tournament this weekend.

Having vanquished Uruguay in the semifinals, the Netherlands is just one win away from potentially triggering an oral sex extravaganza. According to the bizarre tweet, several fellow actresses could join the festivities. Eden currently has more than 23,000 followers.

I've Got Soul But I'm Not A Soldier

Once upon a time I posted that No One Really Cares About Africa. Today is different. Today people care because we are on the eve of the Semi-finals for The World Cup. Now for those of you that are a lot like me...meaning that you don't give a good god damn about "sucker" - err I mean soccer - the Semi-finals don't mean much to you. Futbol fans will tell you that not only are you wrong for not caring, but that you are in the minority when referring to the realm of world opinion.

And on the list of problems that I currently have with "sucker" you can add World Opinion. Ya see, while the leading story coming out of Africa this past couple of weeks might be that

1. England and the U.S.A. was knocked out in the first round of 16.
2. Ghana, the last remaining African team has been eliminated.
3. Brazil, the odds on favorite to win this years World Cup has been ousted.

So today I'm here to tell you all that No one REALLY cares about Africa.

Now I know what you're gonna say. "But Aagro, I love the World Cup! And Africa has done a great job hosting this year". To which I'll respond with 3 "Y's":

1. Yes they have
2. Yes you do
3. You're still a moron

Here's the problem I have. And I'm adult enough to realize that sucker is a casualty in my war on the Apathy For Africa. The leading story will invariably not be about one, or a dozen, of the kids that were abducted by Joseph Kony of the Lord's Resistance Army (the fear of God and the feel of the rod strikes again). Most of you don't know this name but trust me when I tell you that he's Pinochet on crack!!! The leading story will not be about the Genocide's that continue to occur in Darfur.
To be honest even though it bears a closer resemblance to pre WWII Germany, we'd be better off relating the events surrounding this years World Cup to the movie District 9 or Invictus if we wanted to draw any attention to what's really happening there.

I admit that the view is pretty good here in the cheap seats but at some point we've crossed the line from being a sports fan and being oblivious to what's going on around the event.

I could go on but it seems pointless. I'm a sports fan so I recognize how blinded we can become when a big sporting event is going on. Enjoy it!

I mean that.

When its over perhaps...just perhaps...those that were brought together by the events in South Africa will stick around long enough to declare their outrage for what's going on in the rest of the continent. And then maybe...just maybe...things will begin to change for the better.

Here's your clip of the week.

Independence Day

For those of you that frequent my rantings from someplace other than the U.S. I ask that you indulge us Yanks for today. It's July 4th, a day when we Americans mime our favorite past time of blowin shit up! We do this in celebration of an event that occurred over 200 years ago.

On July 4th 1776 a group of folks got together and decided that enough was enough. (It was the Colonial equivalent of a teenager screaming at his parents that he was moving out of the house). They wrote a letter to the King of England announcing that they and their neighbors weren't going to take it anymore! That they were willing to fight for the right to make their own decisions. They declared for themselves, and for all of us that followed, our independence. Bold!

Most Americans have never actually read the Declaration of Independence in its entirety (shame on you). That gets remedied today! Here's how the document begins (it's pretty powerful stuff) and if you'd like to read the whole thing just click here!

When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. That to secure these rights, governments are instituted among men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed. That whenever any form of government becomes destructive to these ends, it is the right of the people to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their safety and happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shown that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such government, and to provide new guards for their future security...