Gooooooaaaaaaaalllllllll

It’s World Cup time, and much like 4 years ago that means that its time for me to express my distaste for Soccer (pronounced “sucker” with a fake Europeen accent).

Here’s a real news story from earlier today, with a comedic slant that I wish I'd written, followed by a phony news clipping that applies to “Sucker”.




"These women, who have been part of a larger group, are suspected to be involved in organized acts to conduct unlawful commercial activities." So goes the Johannesburg police department's complain about the lovely Dutch soccer fans above, two of whom were actually arrested this week under the World Cup host city's "ambush marketing" law.

Really?

I mean, since when are three-dozen ladies in tight orange dresses unlawful? And since when do you get threatened with six months in prison for wearing tight orange clothing provided by a tasty brew like Bavaria? One of the worlds worst beers this is not. There are sticky marketing campaigns in Boozeland, and then there are the governing bodies of international sports. FIFA claims it's "appalled" by the women, which, frankly, is just ridiculous. There is a lot less that's appalling about these women than there is about FIFA's tie to its official beer — which I happily had three of last night, but which, for supporting your favorite international squad, has got nothing on Bavaria. So give it a rest, FIFA, or at least take out your sponsor-steroid rage on these whackjobs.

Photo Credit: Mike Egerton/AP Images

Source


Soccer Officially Announces It Is Gay

Galileo, Figero, Magnifico, Oh, Oh,

The Clip O' The Week comes early this time around. There's no chance of finding something funnier this week and I can't sit on this one for 3 more days.

I feel abit like Tosh.0 with this clip. The number of random comments that go through my head as I watch this (over & over & over) are too many to fathom. And the Bohemian Rhapsody in the background just puts me over the top.

So here it comes...

Bill Burr - Why Do I Do This

Funny stuff!

Always, & All Ways!

Today, June 12th, marks the day that The Admiral and I became legally a couple. That's right ladles and germs...it's our 4 year anniversary!

I love her more at this moment than I did then. I know it sounds cliche' but its true. We've been through so much together and have come out the other side even closer.

All the best parts of me are made better because of her, and all the worst never seem so bad when she's with me.

I love you darlin'!

This weeks clips are solely for your entertainment! But we'll start off with a song made famous by the incomparable Etta James.

The Quintessential Man - Movie Soundtrack Edition

It's a lazy Sunday morning. So far I've watched 2 movies. The first was 13 days, starring Kevin Costner as one of the inside men during JFK's presidency. The movie focuses on the drama that occured during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The second movie I watched this morning was Rocky IV.

I remember seeing this one in the theaters when it came out back in 1984. It's one of those movies, that for me, comes with a fond memory of a more simpler time.

And as The Admiral yelled from upstairs, "what are you watching", I also started thinking that the soundtrack to this movie is one of those must own sound tracks for a man. Which got me to thinking what other ones should The Quintessential Man own.

Here's a list of some of the ones that I believe are necessary. The list is in no particular order, and I'm sure it is incomplete. Feel free to submit your ideas to this list:

Rocky IV - Perhaps I'm dating myself a little bit with this list but I just can't imagine not having this one on here.

Heavy Metal - Was there ever a movie that was more tied in with its soundtrack?

Vision Quest - I was a wrestler in highschool and having this tape was an absolute must. The song I listened to prior to every match...Lunatic Fringe

When Harry Met Sally - We can't always be on edge. Sometimes we have to show our softer side so we can be closer to the fairer sex.

Superfly - Because we all need an excuse to get our groove on.

Singles - Remember when Grunge was still hip and fresh?

Purple Rain - Nuff Said

The Big Chill - Because sometimes we have to grow up.

A quick note on the above list. Shortly after yelling down to me, The Admiral made me promise that I would never play the Rocky IV soundtrack while we were in the car together. As if her marriage to me wasn't proof enough that her taste is questionable at best.

Here's your clip of the week.