Saturday, September 6, 2008

I'm not sayin...I'm just sayin'


Look if you're gonna stand in the limelight and run for the second highest office in our country then you better have your shit together. That means don't get caught in a lie on your first day (Bridge to nowhere my ass) - don't be in the middle of an ethics committe violation in your home state - and for cryin out loud if you've go some shit to hide about your daughter and her pregnancy (or pregnancy) that might put both your ability as a leader and a parent under scrutiny you might want to consider turning down the job when the old fart calls you. I'm just sayin! If its even remotely possible that you've got some shit that could come out you'd have to be Helen Fucking Keller to not think we'd find out. Even Alaska has the internet

And before someone starts in with the "I can't believe you're talking about this." And the "why won't you people just leave her alone." I'm gonna call bullshit because I had to listen to 6 weeks worth of Rev. Wright crap and he wasn't even related to Barack. So with 60 some odd days left you best believ IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!



Let's Go Polar Bear Huntin'

As political humor goes these are pretty good. Enjoy!


The Phone Call



Let's Get Nuts

Friday, September 5, 2008

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Even Chuck Norris Thinks He's Too Old -- or --Flores Para Los Muertos


I almost didn't post this one. A dear friend (and frequenter of my ramblings) is going through a very tough time as his Mom battles cancer. Death, something we all have to face eventually, is also a topic that we all avoid. What we think about is our own personal mortality. Anyway, I hope he will forgive my insensitivity.


As you all know there's an election going on and Alexander Burns of Politico.com has written a piece that will certainly raise a few eyebrows. At the very least it should spark conversation at the local "water cooler".


The gist of the article is what do our insurance and social security statistics say about a 72 year old male and his odds of living to be 80? There's your intro...read it for yourself:




McCain and the politics of mortality

By: Alexander Burns


Since John McCain announced Friday that first-term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin would be his running mate, Democrats have been quick to point out that the 44-year-old governor could soon be just “a heartbeat away from the presidency.” The veiled reference to McCain’s advanced age is hard to miss.


It’s a macabre point to raise on the night when Palin will speak to the convention here — but a look at the actuarial tables insurance companies use to evaluate customers shows that it’s not an irrelevant one. According to these statistics, there is a roughly 1 in 3 chance that a 72-year-old man will not reach the age of 80, which is how old McCain would be at the end of a second presidential term. And that doesn’t factor in individual medical history, such as McCain’s battles with potentially lethal skin cancer.


“For a man, that’s above the expected lifetime at the present,” said Michael Powers, a professor of risk management and insurance at Temple University’s Fox School of Business.


The odds of a 72-year-old man living four more years, or one full White House term, are better. But for a man who has lived 72 years and 67 days (McCain’s age on Election Day this year), there is between a 14.2 and 15.1 percent chance of dying before Inauguration Day 2013, according to the Social Security Administration’s 2004 actuarial tables and the authoritative 2001 mortality statistics assembled by the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.


Going by the Social Security Administration’s tables, that’s nearly ten times the likelihood that a man aged 47 years and 92 days (Barack Obama’s age on Election Day this year) will die before Jan. 20, 2013.


Using the NAIC tables instead, which factor in the fact that Obama has been a smoker for most of his adult life, a non-smoker McCain’s age is still six times as likely to die in the next four years as a smoker Obama’s age.


Actuaries are quick to point out that mortality statistics describe broad population trends. They insist the models can’t necessarily be applied to individual people.


“Actuarial models are good for estimating the average future lifetime of, say, 100,000 50-year-olds, or how many out of 100,000 50-year-olds will survive to 60, but are lousy at estimating about one particular 50-year-old,” explained Jim Daniel, a professor of actuarial studies at the University of Texas.


The odds, then, that McCain will reach the age of 76 or 80 may be considerably higher than in the population at large.


Jack Luff, an actuary with the Society of Actuaries, also notes that the NAIC statistics are slightly weighted toward a higher probability of death.


“The [Commissioners Standard Ordinary] table is directed at life insurance and does have a margin in it with respect to extra deaths for financial reporting purposes,” said Luff.


The same calculations made by utilizing an annuity table, which is used for the purposes of disbursing pensions and tends to predict slightly greater longevity, suggest that a man McCain’s age has a marginally reduced one in ten chance of not reaching age 76.


Still, the quarter-century age gap between Obama and McCain is the widest ever between major-party presidential candidates. And no matter what table is applied, the difference in average mortality rates of men McCain’s age and men Obama’s age is enormous.


According to the Social Security Administration, there is a roughly 1.6 percent chance that a man Obama’s age would die before completing one term in the White House. Even factoring in Obama’s cigarette usage, there is, on average, still only a 2.4 percent chance of death between Election Day this year and Jan. 20, 2013, according to the NAIC.


And since the actuarial risks of cigarette smoking are believed to wear off over time and Obama has not suffered from lung cancer in the past, the Democrat’s long-term odds could be closer to those of a non-smoker, according to several actuaries.


Powers observed that these statistics would be incomplete without factoring in the two men’s full medical histories, adding: “McCain’s expected age of death is probably higher than Obama’s because he’s already lived to the age of 72.”


But for voters, the most important question is how well the candidates are likely to fare during one or two terms in office. With Obama and McCain, it’s not clear that factoring in outside medical information would make the comparison any more flattering to the presumptive Republican nominee.


“It’s not just a matter of McCain being age 72,” said Lois Horwitz of Boston University’s department of mathematics and statistics. “It has to do with, of course, the underwriting characteristics of their lives.”


Actuaries say different insurance companies might factor in McCain’s history of cancer differently, but that in any case it probably wouldn’t help the Republican candidate’s odds.


“If they have a known condition they’re going to be looked at very carefully,” Luff explained. With melanoma, he said, “they’d probably look for five years with no recurrence.”


“My understanding is that with even the worst forms of skin cancer, if they’re caught early the lethality is not that great,” said Powers, who added: “The risk associated with that lesion would probably have more to do with the probability of having future lesions.”


Plus, Powers noted, serving four or eight years in the White House could wear down the presidential candidates even beyond what actuarial statistics would predict.


“Probably, there is a substantial effect associated with being in an office like the presidency,” said Powers. “I think people do believe it tends to age you rather quickly.”


McCain has acknowledged in the past that his advanced age would be a factor in the presidential campaign, particularly when it came to choosing a running mate.


In April, the Arizona senator told radio host Don Imus: “I’m aware of [the] enhanced importance of this issue given my age.”


As early as 2007 there was speculation that McCain might pledge to serve just one term, in light of his advanced years. McCain ruled out that possibility in an Aug. 20 interview with Politico, saying simply: “I’m not considering it.”


The McCain campaign has pushed back hard on any traces of ageism coming from the candidate’s critics, accusing Obama of age discrimination in May when the Illinois senator responded to a McCain statement by saying the Republican was “losing his bearings.”


During the Republican primaries, actor Chuck Norris also cited McCain’s age as a factor in his own decision to support former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.


“That’s why I didn’t pick John to support, because I’m just afraid the vice president will wind up taking over his job within that four-year presidency,” Norris explained in January.







Friday, August 29, 2008

Oh Sure But How Does She Look As Cat Woman?




Welcome to Flotsam Paradise. Where else could something like this happen? Her name is Sarah Louise Heath Palin, and she is the Vice Presidential candidate for the Republican party. Now, most of you already know this. The announcement was covered by every national news organization there is. And yes – as political figures go – the lady is hot. I mean “HOT HOT HOT!” In fact, if this was really was the 5th Element Ruby Rhod would be on a ship right now to meet her and give her a very special interview.


Instead this is real life. Or some semblance there of. Today is John McCain’s 72nd birthday. That’s right folks. John Sidney McCain III was born on August 29, 1936. He’s old. Yep. Uh huh. There it is. John McCain is old and is a two time cancer scare survivor. These are the facts and they cannot be disputed. One of the greatest fears that his supporters have had is that he would win the Oval Office and not live long enough to serve his full term. Worse that he would not survive the campaign season altogether and leave his party in a lurch.

So as a safe guard, we the eager onlookers, waited for him to pick a running mate that could just as easily have been his party’s nominee. Perhaps Mitt Romney who showed a fair grasp of the economy despite being an out of touch tycoon. Perhaps Governor Huckabee who displayed the type of folksy interpersonal warmth that McCain lacks. Or any other host of candidates. We waited, and we waited. Knowing that he would select someone that, should something horrible happen to him, his supporters could feel secure that the person that was “a heart beat away” would be qualified to stand guard over our nations security and dreams.


His choice was Sarah Fucking Palin? Are you kidding me? Seriously?

Ok…sure…she’s cute…but this is your answer to Joe Biden? Really?

She has some admirable qualities. That much is for sure. She played squealer…er…I mean whistle blower to her fellow Republican colleagues in Alaska. She took on the oil companies and helped to ensure that a good portion of the money that was coming out of her state went back to the folks that live there. Hell, she even had the good sense to support Barack’s energy plan a few months ago.

But wait, there's more…

She’s also the subject of an ethics probe for alleged abuse of power. She is accused of having had someone fired for not firing her sisters ex-husband. Sure the ex-hubby was a dick…sorry…alleged dick…but if she abused her power as the Governor of Alaska imagine what she would do as the Vice President or even worse the big cheese? I can’t think of the last time we had a President that abused his power. Oh wait – yes I can!



But that's not all you get...

She’s not just anti-abortion. She’s so conservative on this issue that she believes that anyone involved in one should be imprisoned. I’m sorry but a woman that won’t allow another woman the right to choose what to do with her own body is like a black member of the Ku Klux Klan. Step aside please we have progress to make.





And on her first day as the Presumptive Republican Nominee’s running mate…on her first day in the national spotlight…SHE LIED.

Yep. Uh huh. There it is.

She Lied. Apparently she’s a quick learner.

What did she lie about you ask? Well during her acceptance speech she claimed to have told Congress that she and the state of Alaska had no interest in the “Bridge To Nowhere”. Let me be specific here. The precise quote was:

“…and I’ve championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. In fact I told Congress, I told Congress, thanks but no thanks on that Bridge To Nowhere. If our state wanted a bridge I said, we’d build it ourself.”

However, in an October 22, 2006 interview with the Anchorage Daily News, Palin was asked the following question:

“Would you continue state funding for the proposed Knik Arm and Gravina Island Bridges?”

Her answer was:

"Yes. I would like to see Alaska’s infrastructure projects built sooner rather than later. The window is now – while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist. "

That statement is a far cry from today's “thanks but no thanks”.



Nice going John. You picked someone that has even less experience than your opponent (the one thing you’ve criticized him for). You picked a woman that stands against most women on an issue that is so intimate to their personal freedom they picket for it in every major city in the country. And you picked someone that is under investigation for ethics violations and on her first day in the lime light lied about a simple issue that most Americans would not have even cared about.

But at least she’s cute. So happy birthday big fella. I hope 72 is almost everything you'd hoped it would be.

For other entertaining comments on the new political hotness take a look at http://www.wonkette.com/

And now for absolutely no good reason whatsoever ---- take it Ruby!!!



Thursday, August 28, 2008

Where The Frak Have You Been?!?




I know, I know…it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything. Some of you may recall that my reticence is a typical occurrence each year just prior to the kickoff of the NFL season. Sadly, this year is no different. For me the month of August is filled with stuffing my head with stats and numbers of a multitude of football players. Deciphering trends and projecting results so that at the end of the year I can almost afford to take The Admiral out for a nice steak dinner.

So it’s not that nothing has mattered enough to me to inspire a post. Quite the contrary. In addition to the upcoming football season there’s a Presidential Election campaign going on and in case you haven’t been paying attention I’ve become emotionally involved. So as I vow to all of you to TRY and keep up to date with the ramblings of my mind more in the future here is are the two distractions keeping me from my almost adoring public.

Something Is Happening In America!!

Today is Thursday August 28, 2008. It marks the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s historic “I have a dream speech”. On this day Senator Barack Obama will accept his party’s nomination to be the next President of the United States. At some point prior to the actual election I promise that I will extol the reasons why I am voting for him as opposed to Senator John McCain. I will do my best to stick to the facts and the policies and how they relate to today’s world. But for now I get to be a little emotional. I am on the verge of tears right now. For a black man to have this opportunity prior to my turning 40 is quite simply amazing. It is something that I would not have believed to be possible. The fact that it is not only possible, but on some levels probable speaks to the very core of the virtues that this nation was founded on.

Let’s be clear though folks. As historic of an occasion as this is it is not enough. The country, the world and the planet itself are in dire straights and we need the leadership that he is offering. Our fervor and passion cannot stop now. It must continue into November at a minimum and I’m quite sure that we will be called on to continue to do our part as citizens to put this country back on track.

I toyed with the idea of putting up the video of President Clinton’s speech from last night because it was a doozy. But since it’s close to 21 minutes long I’ll just offer the link. Instead I’ll repost an old favorite. I can only hope that it is still as moving to you as it is to me.





It’s In The Game

After a solid month of research I’m going to do something a little different this year. I’m going to give some of my competitors (if you’re still reading this) an opportunity to derail me this year. I’m going to offer up the players that I believe are worth drafting this year and building a team around. I’m printing this years draft strategy.

In previous years the strategy has been to take a RB in the first 2 rounds. This followed by a WR in rounds 3 and 4 and lastly a QB in round 5. The remaining rounds are spent grabbing quality back up personnel. I never draft a Kicker prior to the last 3 rounds and I hardly ever bother looking at Defenses prior to that either.

There are at times small deviations to this strategy but it’s held solid for 10 years running. Last year was a little different in that the strategy for the first 5 rounds was RB – WR – WR QB – RB. The results of this plan were stellar and although I didn’t win the two $money$ leagues I was in I did a fair job of dominating them both and was within a Brian Westbrook kneel down on the 1 yard line from winning $600. Yes I’m still bitter.

This year is different. I’ve never really seen anything quite like it and as a result I’ve had to adapt the above strategy to accommodate the changing times. Here now is what I believe to be my winning strategy this year. I’ve decided that the 5 round strategy has to be a little longer this year. This year’s winning strategy is 6 rounds long. Here it is:
WR – WR – RB – QB – RB – QB.

What’s that?!?!?! Have I gone completely off the deep end? Probably. The running back stable is as deep as I can ever remember it being. Including my candidate for this years sleeper Tim Hightower. I also expect a big year from Ricky Williams who is in a contract year. I don’t expect much from a few big name guys. I believe that both LJ (Larry Johnson) and Elmo (Larry Mauroney) will struggle due to offensive line problems. Several other studs are coming off of some pretty nasty injuries. They’re still quality backs but the difference in their productivity won’t be too drastically different from the second and third tier backs that usually get picked up in rounds 6 and 7. In stark contrast the WR outlook is a bit more bleak. I believe that drafting two top tier Wideouts will make all the difference this year. But what will throw most people off is a move that I’ve done three times already and hope to do twice more. In round 4 I intend to draft Matt Hasselback. This is a move that many will look at and scoff. But its nothing to the reaction that I’ll get when I draft Donovan McNabb to back him up in round 6 or 7.

So there it is. This years “winning” strategy. Wish me luck. Orb? Geo? Lar? You blokes out there? Stop it if you can!

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Slap Me With A Splintered Ruler

The below photo was taken by your's truly. The subject of my entertainment is the locksmith that was hired by my company to replace the locks at work.

Wait for it...

He locked his keys inside the van. Oh Irony you sweet mistress!