Things I wish I'd written - Courtesy of Wonkette.com

If you are at all interested in the comedy of Politics I encourage perusing Wonkette on a regular basis. If only this stuff was made up. Here's the official link to the below story.



Arizona Schools Ban Mex-Am Studies, Angry Kids Put On Janitorial Duty

In a page right out of Newt Gingrich’s alternate-history science-fiction wingnut-polygamy utopian epic Candyland Space Land, the school district in Tucson has completely banned Mexican-American studies, seized all the textbooks and even wall posters from the classrooms, and punished the students who protested by sentencing them to janitorial duty. The self-hating Latina lady who oversees the now-illegal ethnic studies program even comically told the kids, “Mexico is where Mexican studies is taught, not America!” Why oh why does the Newt have to be in stinky old South Carolina during such a historical moment in stomping the Mexican, for freedom?

The insanely racist Arizona law, HB 2281, specifically targets ethnic studies in the public schools. Tucson’s Mexican-American Studies program was specifically shut down to meet the law’s requirements, although administrator Lupita Garcia — who sure sounds like a Mexican to us — seemed utterly delighted to shut down the district’s program and shout racist idiocy at the students.

The students bravely marched five miles from Cholla High School (better change that name!) to the Mexican-American Studies headquarters … and as punishment for this crime against white society, they were all put on janitorial slave duty. Sounds like Tucson needs to be occupied! (Weather is very nice this time of year. It’s a good season for a Mexican-sounding revolution.)

The Bark Side

Thanks to Orb for this one

Future Possibilities

I love this time of year in football because either you're watching your team in the playoffs or you're looking ahead to how your team can improve. For my beloved Hawks there are still some glaring issues that need to be addressed. Chief among them are the Pass Rush and an improvement at QB. This post will not be an evaluation of Tavaris Jackson (I'll save that for another post later).



This post is dedicated to Carrol and Schneider and the quiet move they made last week when they signed Tyrell Sutton to a Reserve/Futures Contract. This is a good move considering that it is unlikely that Forsett will return next season.

Here's a nice clip of Tyrell against the Saints a couple of years ago. I love how he goes looking for work at the end of the run, instead of meandering out of bounds.

He graduated from Northwestern in 2009, can catch the ball out of the back field, and best of all, he runs behind his pads and knows how to finish.

Want some more? Here's some highlights of his college career at the school for smart people.

I Need A Summer Home In Russia

A man who tried to rob a hairdresser in Russia wound up being handcuffed to a radiator, force fed Viagra and kept as a sex slave for three days by the salon owner, a 28-year-old woman.

Karate black belt Olga Zajac felled Viktor Jasinkski, 32, with a single kick when he entered her shop in Meshchovsk, intending to rob her, the Daily Mail reports.

Jasinkski went straight to police after his ordeal, telling them Zajac dragged him into a back room and tied him up with a hairdryer cable.

She then stripped him naked and handcuffed him to the heater, feeding him nothing but Viagra to "teach him a lesson," he told police.

When police questioned the hairdresser she called Jasinkski a "bastard" for dobbing her in.

"Yes we had sex a couple of times. But I bought him new jeans, gave him food and even gave him 1000 roubles when he left."

Both Zajac and Jasinkski have been arrested.

Browncoat Humor

Independance Day gag from some folks that fought for the Independance.

Remember Remember The 4th Of...

Err, you get the idea.

One of my all time favorite songs on one of the more appropriate days to listen to it.



Tchaikovsky - Overture 1812 by beautifulcynic

49 Hours 33 Minutes Ago

That's the aproximate time I opened up the email from my buddy Tim. It's also a fair estimate for how long this has been stuck in my head. I think I may have even dreamed about it.