Ugh!

I'm home sick today. Which means that now that I can finally walk in normal shoes I've found a way to still sit on my ass and do nothing more than watch TV and play that stupid baseball video game.

I'm cynical enough when I'm healthy but when I'm sick I'm down right nasty. Mama used to say that I get ornery when I'm sick. Mama is always right. Today my cynicism showed itself early as I was watching the "My Wish" story on Sports Center. Today's story was about a 5 year old New Orleans Saint fan with only half a heart. Literally this little kid has a heart the size of a golf ball or something.

You'd think I'd feel an instant tug on my emotions. Nope. I take one look at the kid and immediately think "sweet Mary and Joseph, that's one ugly runt". Then they show his dad and now I'm wondering what planet did they find these alien freakoids. Whew, at least mom looks normal.

But then they take him to the Saint mini-camp. He sits in on team meetings and watches tapes with Drew Brees. Tosses the ball around, has lunch, and all in all its a really nice moment.

Wait a damn minute...am I crying? Son of a Bitch! Gawd I hate being sick.

Survivors Ready? Go!

Not counting the sheer brilliance that is Survivor, Japanese game shows kick American game shows' ass. For proof just watch this clip.

Bring Griffey Back

I love the Mariners. But there are some serious problems that need to be addressed with this team. Or at least one big problem that needs to be addressed immediately. Richie Sexton must go!! Period. End of file. He's horrible. He's supposed to be the big fancy power hitter for this club. Well congratulations Richie you've managed to climb out of your 3 month long slump and raise your batting average to an incredible .205. SERIOUSLY!?!?!??!?!?!?

Last night myself and 46,000 of my closest friends went to Safeco Field to welcome home Ken Griffey Jr. The Mariners got trounced 16 - 1. The starting pitcher for the M's (Ryan Feierabend) threw 41 pitches in the first inning and finished with a line of 2 and 2/3's IP, 6 H, 9 R, 85 pitches thrown. Yikes! You almost had to feel bad for the kid. What did you expect him to do? By the time Griffey came to the plate we were all hungry to see him swing the bat. With a runner on first and Jr. at the plate, Ryan Feierabend proceeded to throw to the bag to keep the runner close. The decision was met with 46,000 boos. And when he threw over to 1st a second time without having offered a pitch to Griffey we almost stormed the field. The kid never had a chance to succeed last night.

In other news I bumped into a guy at the game that has become my new hero. I've been running around town since April screaming about how much I'd love it if the M's traded Richie Sexton to Cincinnati for Jr. Who'd play 1st you ask? Well you could put Ben Broussard there but why not Griffey himself? He'd be a durable 1st Baseman. He's played the game his entire life so he could certainly make the adjustment. And I guarantee you that Mariner fans would support this with a frenzy that hasn't been seen since the magical run of 1995.

I know you folks with real baseball teams wish we Seattle fans would keep bringing that up.

Where was I...right...new hero...

He has started a movement called Bring Griffey Back. He's a bit nuts but in these desperate times you have to be. I'm begging you all to please go to bringgriffeyback.com and sign the petition. What can it hurt? In the meantime here's a clip of the good ol' days. Sorry there's no sound on it.

LONG LIVE #24!!!!

That's some bad hat Harry...

Jaws was on Sci-Fi last night. I've always loved (and been frightened of) this movie. Hell to this day I still won't swim in the Ocean except to rescue someone. I spent 8 years in the Coast Guard but whenever "swim call" was announced I'd say, "that's alright, I'm good". I digress.

So when I was about 10 or so my dad was stationed in Germany. From there he shipped to us a VCR and 4 movies. The VCR was one of those super old ones where the buttons are reminiscent of the old Rockford Files tape recorders. You really had to lean into it to press them down all the way.

As for the 4 movies he sent back, the list looks like this:

1. Cat Balou


2. Mary Poppins


3. Jaws


4. The Empire Strikes Back

I can't tell you how many times I've watched each of these, but I will say that I warped the tape on more than one of them.

What I noticed last night was that Jaws has some of the best picture angles and editing that I've ever seen. Whether it's Chief Brody flipping through the book on sharks where all you can see is his face and the book in the reflection of his glasses - or possibly the scene where the Chief is sitting on the beach and each time someone walks past him and blocks him from the camera the next shot brings you instantly closer to him.

A lot of little subtleties went into making this movie the classic that it is.

If you can't be with the one you love...

Ok big head shake on this one. This past Friday The Associated Press reported that "A Corvallis teenager was arrested after a surveillance camera captured him preparing to sexually abuse a horse inside a barn". Here is the entirety of the article.

Report: Corvallis teen accused of sexually abusing horse
June 15,
2007 05:34AM Associated Press



A Corvallis teenager was
arrested after a surveillance camera captured him preparing to sexually abuse a
horse inside a barn, police said.

The owners of the barn installed the
camera after reporting an assault on the horse last summer. In February, the
owners noticed the halter of their mare had been moved, as well as some food
dishes. When they checked the video, they saw a young man sexually assaulting
the horse.

Deputy Clay Stephens of the Benton County Sheriff's Office,
who watched the video, said the youth, who could not be identified, seemed to be
following a "very concise, deliberate, well-thought-out plan."

The
owners then installed a silent alarm. On June 7, at around 2:30 a.m., the alarm
sounded in the house. The owners looked at the video monitor and saw the suspect
preparing to assault the horse. They called the sheriff's office and the
17-year-old was arrested at the barn.

The teenager faces charges of
burglary and sexual abuse of an animal.

He was taken to the Linn-Benton
Detention Center where he was arraigned and released later the same day. His
next court appearance is a hearing June 20.

Not only do I read this and think to myself "Seriously!?!?!?!?" or "You've got to be fucking kidding me!?!?!?!?" But I also remember that two years ago a man died after having intercourse with a Horse. Sadly this also happened here in the Great Pacific Northwest.

For the morbidly curious you can see the film adaptation of the 2005 event by renting "Zoo".

Ewwwww!!!

If you build it Vader will come

A buddy of mine sends out a "Clip of the week" every week. Sometimes they're a little hit or miss but two weeks ago he hit a fricken home run. I'm a little slow in sharing it, mostly because something this good usually has made the rounds long before I ever get to it. What occurs to me is that now I'm part of that loop and have a responsibility to the peeps. So for all of you that haven't seen this, and for Cyemm in particular, I present to you Lord Vader.

King of Leggos

This comes to us courtesy of the Purple Painted Wonder. His name is Nathan Sawaya and he recently spoke with CNN about creating sculpture using LEGO bricks. He's created some pretty cool stuff that I can only applaud.