Sticks and Stones

This post will be odd for me.  It's a little bit of a view of the man behind the curtain.  Which is a rule I really don't like to break.  At least not for the masses. 

My self image is pretty pathetic.  When I was a freshman in high school I tried out for the wrestling team.  I'd taken part in football practice and played on the practice squad of my high school football team.  I'd outperformed a lot of the guys on this team.  But I was too small.  Not just in the eyes of the coaches and players who snickered at me behind my back, and in many instances in front of my face.

 

But I was also considered too frail and small, by a single mother, who wanted nothing more than to keep her eldest son safe.  "Run track again", she counseled.  "What about the soccer team?", she asked.  Never mind that my passion since the age of 2, when I simulated snapping a football in front of the television, had always been football.  I was too small.  So in order to play the sport I loved I had to be on the practice squad.

I digress.

I'd started by saying that when I was a freshman I tried out for the wrestling team.  I was 5' 8", and weighed somewhere around 70 - 75 pounds.  I participated in the 78lb Weight Class.  I was a skinny, lanky, awkward boy.  More limb than torso.  But, I was tenaceous and even though it was only my innaugaral year, I advanced all the way to State Regionals.  

Despite the fact that I was now good at two sports I was still viewed as "too small" by everyone around me.

This is the Self Image I've carried with myself for the entirety of my life.  The frail, lanky, awkward black kid, at a mostly white school.  The kid that had to be funny as a defense mechanism.  The kid that always had a quick wit, and was even fleeter of foot if his wit ever got beyond him.  The kid that couldn't get a date because...well...who wants to go out with a kid that looks like a reject from a casting of We Are The World extras.  No one wanted to be me and girls avoided me. 

I found myself to be the butt of plenty of jokes, most of which I didn't notice at the time but are clear to me now.  If I were in a John Hughes movie I'd be cast as a Misfit at best.  I'm not complaining mind you, but I am very aware of how it affected the person I am today.  And I want better for the kids of today.  Not for any altruistic reasons.  Not because I have a 15 year old daughter.  Although these reasons are both solid.

I want this, mostly, because no one should have to endure bullying of any sort.  No one should be told they aren't good enough to go after their dreams. 

I'm not complaining about where I ended up in life.  Heck.  I'd be the first to admit that it's made me the person I am today, and I kind of like that guy. 

But I hate what it took to get here.  It was ugly.  It was brutal.  It was emasculating.  It was mean and unfair and lonely. 

But mostly...

It was sad. And as I look back on the last 42 years, I know that at times my greatest achievement was surviving the voices.  Not just the dissenting ones that came from society.  Heaven knows they were loud and obnoxious.  But they were dwarfed by the ones that played in my own head.

I don't know why I'm writing any of this.  Or even why I write anything for that matter.  I suppose it has a therapeutic value.  It makes me feel "less small" in the grand scheme of things.

About a decade ago, my wife, aka "The Admiral" managed to convince me that I'm not too small.  That I'm beautiful in my own awkward, geeky, kinky, fan boy way.  So for the bullied and the beautiful I offer this.

I hope it brings as much comfort and inspiration to you as it does to me.

Plurality

Enjoy!  'Nuff said. 

Timeless

Today is one of those days that I find myself in the mood to whistle.  I started just whistling random songs but by 7:30 (my day starts pretty early) I’d centered on one in particular.  Peter and the Wolf.

 

It's been close to 35 years since I last saw this but there's one thing that hasn't changed.  It is impossible to be in a foul mood when whistling Peter's theme.

 

So sit back and take 15 minutes of your day to appreciate this timeless classic!

 

Everyone's A Critic

What follows is a film review.  It was not written by yours truly, but it is impressive in it's detail.  Hell I've never even seen the film, but I'd have given the author an "A" just for the effort to translate the video content into something so vivid.

 

This Is Officially Awesome...

And a little scary.  Ladies if you think he's staring at you...well he probably is.  And he could even be recording it.

Soon to follow...POV porn.  Oh c'mon.  I can't be the only one thinking it

Angry Hate F*cking Rocker Chicks...Yum

I'm definitely not as "posty" as I used to be but those that have frequented my musings know that the best chance of getting something new from me will happen right after the end of football season.  A tough Seahawks loss, and a nasty flu bug have delayed things a bit but for those of you that were hoping I'd offer something up, here it is.

I've always been drawn to angry, hate fucking, rocker chicks.  I find them incredibly sexy.  It probably has something to do with them being so dainty, yet so fearless.  I love the ink, and the different hair shades, and the jumping up and down.  But most of all, I love how they can usually sing their asses off, and surprise you with it.  They leave you saying "where the fuck did that come from". 

With that I give you Lzzy Hale, lead singer of Halestorm.  I could say a bunch of flowery shit to convince you that they're worth your hard earned coin but instead I'll let Lzzy and her brother do the convincing for me.

Freak Like Me

Mz. Hyde

And the one that most are familiar with...

I Miss the Misery

United We Stand...



We are not as divided as our politics may suggest…

 

The promise of Today, surrounded by the promise of tomorrow

These words rang hollow in my ears.  They were part of the President’s acceptance speech.    As is typical, they were words filled with hope and inspiration.  And as is typical, I felt as if he were speaking directly to me.  As if he’d looked into my living room and said, “Don’t be so discouraged Aagro.  We are not as divided as our politics suggest”

I wasn’t buying it.

I’d seen the map.  It was peppered in red and blue clumps.  There were no areas that were partially red, or partially blue.  If an area of the country voted one way, its neighbors did as well.  Sure within each state the vote may have been closer than this but that only made me feel more divided.  More isolated.  Six years ago a good friend suggested to me that we were drawing ever closer to a Civil War.  That the nation was so divided, so polarized, an actual physical Civil war was inevitable.  I argued for the better nature of humanity and our country, but sitting in my living room this Tuesday, I had to wonder if he was right.

This is how The Wool Omnibus begins

We are not as divided as our politics may suggest…

Two weeks before the election, a co-worker was near tears with the belief that Governor Romney would win the election.  I’d analyzed poll after poll and was certain at that time that it wouldn’t be close, and that she could rest easy.  I explained a few demographics, in certain key regions of the country to her.  By the time the conversation was over, she was confident in the chances that the POTUS would be reelected. 

Fast forward to Election Day where some things have changed, and I’ve managed to talk myself into believing that it’s closer than anyone could ever imagine.  I no longer trust the data that I’d studied for weeks.  I’ve drawn up realistic scenarios that have Governor Romney winning.  Ohio was obvious, but I’d boiled the entire election down to the state of Virginia.  At least a half dozen times during the day someone asked me what I thought was going to happen.  My answer was always the same, “the polls in Virginia close at 4 our time.” 

4 o’clock hits and polls begin closing.  Sitting in my living room, I anxiously await the results from Virginia.  I’ve done my best Eeyore impersonation all day.  I want this to be over with.  I want to sit with my glass of wine and relax and enjoy the circus that is election night.  But Virginia is ‘Too Close To Call’.  Other states roll in.  Red, red, red, red.  A tiny state in the north east goes blue.  The TV Networks plea to those watching to contact their friends and remind them to ‘Stay in Line’.  The battle has begun.

We are not as divided as our politics may suggest…

The election ends almost 4 hours later as Virginia finally gets called.  Some believe it happened when Ohio was secured but the truth is that the math would not have added up at that point anyway, as the remaining states were what the networks refer to as ‘blue leaning’ (a term I hate).  Virginia is called, and Ohio shortly thereafter.  The POTUS has won reelection.  The map of the nation resembles a post-apocalyptic science fiction map.  The kind where the country has been split into three or four separate nations.  It is a map that says, “we are as divided as our politics may suggest”.  Donald Trump proceeds to send out several tweets calling for a revolution.  He’s called for a  “march on Washington”.  Karl Rove has declared the results in Ohio premature, ignoring the math in the other states, and ignoring the results altogether.

We may be closer to this than any of us care to admit

Another hour goes by and there’s been no word from either the Romney camp or the Obama camp.  The image of the now almost full Electoral Map lingers.  My friends’ warnings of a civil war come racing to my mind.

We are not as divided as our politics may suggest…

Five days ago the President reiterated this theme.  He reminded us that there is work to be done but to not lose hope because we are not a conglomeration of red states and blue states.  We are the United States of America.  They were pretty words, but at the time seemed less weighty than in past years.

But five days later I can tell you that he’s right.  WE ARE NOT AS DIVIDED AS OUR POLITICS MAY SUGGEST!  I’ve revisited this election and the results.  More importantly, I’ve revisited the demographics of those that voted for the President.  Here are the percentages of particular voting populations that voted for the POTUS:
* Black 93%
* Asians 73%
* Latinos 71%
* Young voters ages 18 – 30 60%
* Women 55%
* White Males 39%

These numbers suggest to me that we are more unified than the red and blue stained map of our nation would indicate.  I see this list and I think, bring me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.  I look at these numbers and I see HOPE.  I see a representation of what our country is.  

The new Elecorate?

 We are not as divided as our politics may suggest…

There is still work to be done.  A lot of it.  We have a lot of problems that will require all of us working together to get them solved.  There is a prosperity gap.  A seemingly insurmountable National Debt.  Problems with our tax code.  A Medicare system that must be fixed sooner rather than later.  Same with Social Security. A looming Energy Crisis.  A “de-tarnishing” of the global brand known as the U.S.A.  No one side can fix all of these things alone.  No one side should have to.

But the good news is…we’re not as divided as our politics suggest.