Oh Sure But How Does She Look As Cat Woman?

Welcome to Flotsam Paradise. Where else could something like this happen? Her name is Sarah Louise Heath Palin, and she is the Vice Presidential candidate for the Republican party. Now, most of you already know this. The announcement was covered by every national news organization there is. And yes – as political figures go – the lady is hot. I mean “HOT HOT HOT!” In fact, if this was really was the 5th Element Ruby Rhod would be on a ship right now to meet her and give her a very special interview.

Instead this is real life. Or some semblance there of. Today is John McCain’s 72nd birthday. That’s right folks. John Sidney McCain III was born on August 29, 1936. He’s old. Yep. Uh huh. There it is. John McCain is old and is a two time cancer scare survivor. These are the facts and they cannot be disputed. One of the greatest fears that his supporters have had is that he would win the Oval Office and not live long enough to serve his full term. Worse that he would not survive the campaign season altogether and leave his party in a lurch.

So as a safe guard, we the eager onlookers, waited for him to pick a running mate that could just as easily have been his party’s nominee. Perhaps Mitt Romney who showed a fair grasp of the economy despite being an out of touch tycoon. Perhaps Governor Huckabee who displayed the type of folksy interpersonal warmth that McCain lacks. Or any other host of candidates. We waited, and we waited. Knowing that he would select someone that, should something horrible happen to him, his supporters could feel secure that the person that was “a heart beat away” would be qualified to stand guard over our nations security and dreams.


His choice was Sarah Fucking Palin? Are you kidding me? Seriously?

Ok…sure…she’s cute…but this is your answer to Joe Biden? Really?

She has some admirable qualities. That much is for sure. She played squealer…er…I mean whistle blower to her fellow Republican colleagues in Alaska. She took on the oil companies and helped to ensure that a good portion of the money that was coming out of her state went back to the folks that live there. Hell, she even had the good sense to support Barack’s energy plan a few months ago.

But wait, there's more…

She’s also the subject of an ethics probe for alleged abuse of power. She is accused of having had someone fired for not firing her sisters ex-husband. Sure the ex-hubby was a dick…sorry…alleged dick…but if she abused her power as the Governor of Alaska imagine what she would do as the Vice President or even worse the big cheese? I can’t think of the last time we had a President that abused his power. Oh wait – yes I can!

But that's not all you get...

She’s not just anti-abortion. She’s so conservative on this issue that she believes that anyone involved in one should be imprisoned. I’m sorry but a woman that won’t allow another woman the right to choose what to do with her own body is like a black member of the Ku Klux Klan. Step aside please we have progress to make.

And on her first day as the Presumptive Republican Nominee’s running mate…on her first day in the national spotlight…SHE LIED.

Yep. Uh huh. There it is.

She Lied. Apparently she’s a quick learner.

What did she lie about you ask? Well during her acceptance speech she claimed to have told Congress that she and the state of Alaska had no interest in the “Bridge To Nowhere”. Let me be specific here. The precise quote was:

“…and I’ve championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. In fact I told Congress, I told Congress, thanks but no thanks on that Bridge To Nowhere. If our state wanted a bridge I said, we’d build it ourself.”

However, in an October 22, 2006 interview with the Anchorage Daily News, Palin was asked the following question:

“Would you continue state funding for the proposed Knik Arm and Gravina Island Bridges?”

Her answer was:

"Yes. I would like to see Alaska’s infrastructure projects built sooner rather than later. The window is now – while our congressional delegation is in a strong position to assist. "

That statement is a far cry from today's “thanks but no thanks”.

Nice going John. You picked someone that has even less experience than your opponent (the one thing you’ve criticized him for). You picked a woman that stands against most women on an issue that is so intimate to their personal freedom they picket for it in every major city in the country. And you picked someone that is under investigation for ethics violations and on her first day in the lime light lied about a simple issue that most Americans would not have even cared about.

But at least she’s cute. So happy birthday big fella. I hope 72 is almost everything you'd hoped it would be.

For other entertaining comments on the new political hotness take a look at http://www.wonkette.com/

And now for absolutely no good reason whatsoever ---- take it Ruby!!!

Where The Frak Have You Been?!?

I know, I know…it’s been ages since I’ve posted anything. Some of you may recall that my reticence is a typical occurrence each year just prior to the kickoff of the NFL season. Sadly, this year is no different. For me the month of August is filled with stuffing my head with stats and numbers of a multitude of football players. Deciphering trends and projecting results so that at the end of the year I can almost afford to take The Admiral out for a nice steak dinner.

So it’s not that nothing has mattered enough to me to inspire a post. Quite the contrary. In addition to the upcoming football season there’s a Presidential Election campaign going on and in case you haven’t been paying attention I’ve become emotionally involved. So as I vow to all of you to TRY and keep up to date with the ramblings of my mind more in the future here is are the two distractions keeping me from my almost adoring public.

Something Is Happening In America!!

Today is Thursday August 28, 2008. It marks the 45th anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.’s historic “I have a dream speech”. On this day Senator Barack Obama will accept his party’s nomination to be the next President of the United States. At some point prior to the actual election I promise that I will extol the reasons why I am voting for him as opposed to Senator John McCain. I will do my best to stick to the facts and the policies and how they relate to today’s world. But for now I get to be a little emotional. I am on the verge of tears right now. For a black man to have this opportunity prior to my turning 40 is quite simply amazing. It is something that I would not have believed to be possible. The fact that it is not only possible, but on some levels probable speaks to the very core of the virtues that this nation was founded on.

Let’s be clear though folks. As historic of an occasion as this is it is not enough. The country, the world and the planet itself are in dire straights and we need the leadership that he is offering. Our fervor and passion cannot stop now. It must continue into November at a minimum and I’m quite sure that we will be called on to continue to do our part as citizens to put this country back on track.

I toyed with the idea of putting up the video of President Clinton’s speech from last night because it was a doozy. But since it’s close to 21 minutes long I’ll just offer the link. Instead I’ll repost an old favorite. I can only hope that it is still as moving to you as it is to me.





It’s In The Game

After a solid month of research I’m going to do something a little different this year. I’m going to give some of my competitors (if you’re still reading this) an opportunity to derail me this year. I’m going to offer up the players that I believe are worth drafting this year and building a team around. I’m printing this years draft strategy.

In previous years the strategy has been to take a RB in the first 2 rounds. This followed by a WR in rounds 3 and 4 and lastly a QB in round 5. The remaining rounds are spent grabbing quality back up personnel. I never draft a Kicker prior to the last 3 rounds and I hardly ever bother looking at Defenses prior to that either.

There are at times small deviations to this strategy but it’s held solid for 10 years running. Last year was a little different in that the strategy for the first 5 rounds was RB – WR – WR QB – RB. The results of this plan were stellar and although I didn’t win the two $money$ leagues I was in I did a fair job of dominating them both and was within a Brian Westbrook kneel down on the 1 yard line from winning $600. Yes I’m still bitter.

This year is different. I’ve never really seen anything quite like it and as a result I’ve had to adapt the above strategy to accommodate the changing times. Here now is what I believe to be my winning strategy this year. I’ve decided that the 5 round strategy has to be a little longer this year. This year’s winning strategy is 6 rounds long. Here it is:
WR – WR – RB – QB – RB – QB.

What’s that?!?!?! Have I gone completely off the deep end? Probably. The running back stable is as deep as I can ever remember it being. Including my candidate for this years sleeper Tim Hightower. I also expect a big year from Ricky Williams who is in a contract year. I don’t expect much from a few big name guys. I believe that both LJ (Larry Johnson) and Elmo (Larry Mauroney) will struggle due to offensive line problems. Several other studs are coming off of some pretty nasty injuries. They’re still quality backs but the difference in their productivity won’t be too drastically different from the second and third tier backs that usually get picked up in rounds 6 and 7. In stark contrast the WR outlook is a bit more bleak. I believe that drafting two top tier Wideouts will make all the difference this year. But what will throw most people off is a move that I’ve done three times already and hope to do twice more. In round 4 I intend to draft Matt Hasselback. This is a move that many will look at and scoff. But its nothing to the reaction that I’ll get when I draft Donovan McNabb to back him up in round 6 or 7.

So there it is. This years “winning” strategy. Wish me luck. Orb? Geo? Lar? You blokes out there? Stop it if you can!

Slap Me With A Splintered Ruler

The below photo was taken by your's truly. The subject of my entertainment is the locksmith that was hired by my company to replace the locks at work.

Wait for it...

He locked his keys inside the van. Oh Irony you sweet mistress!