The Chant Ends With "Get Used To It"

Congratulations to California. Today Proposition 8 was overturned.

Sort of.

I say sort of because what really happened was closer to the
courts saying, “how in the hell did you guys let this thing pass to begin with?”

If you haven’t been paying close attention to this story it’s
been a little goofy and confusing but here’s the short version.

Once upon a time, some folks got together and decided that
it would be sorta nice if gay people could get married too. Some of them lived in California so they
worked hard to get it approved and oh what a glorious day it was. We’ll call them “The Happy Peeps” since gay
literally means happy.

Then some other folks got together and decided that it
really made them feel bad about themselves to know that “The Gays” were getting
married just like normal god fearin folk. After all, it’s really unnatural, and not what God intended. Let’s call this group “The Dumbshits”
because, well, sometimes this thing writes itself. So a few years after The Happy Peeps did
their thing, The Dumbshits had it reversed, and thus Proposition 8 was born.

Now I could go into some of the weird things that are in the
Bible that everyone, including The Dumbshits frown upon. I could also go into a little bit of the
Constitution and explain all the different reasons this was COMPLETELY AND
UTTERLY ILLEGAL. I could even go into
how the folks that backed Prop 8 worded things on the ballot in such a way as
to intentionally confuse those that would have voted against it. But this is supposed to be the short version.

Besides. I don’t have
to explain further, because today Appeals Court Judge Stephen Reinhardt announced
that the California voters violated the Constitution by “taking away from them
alone the right they had won to marry”.

In layman’s terms Prop 8 was completely and utterly illegal.

And so for now Prop 8 is dead. That is until the Dumbshits get together and
try something new, which they are bound to.

As a comedian once said, “If you don’t like Gay Marriage…don’t
get Gay Married”

They Have Cookies

Eli Manning is Darth Vader.

Join me, and together we will bake up a storm

I know this seems like a stretch. But stick with me for a miniute. I can back this up. Trust me. Just take a moment to open your mind and join me on this brief journey.

We've all seen Episide 1 where young Aniken Skywalker does his Pod Racing gig and in the end the real heroes do all the work to secure a critical victory. Ani is excited becase he gets to spend time with all these super cool, extremely gifted people. Maybe some if it, if he's lucky and pays enough attention, will rub off. Maybe.

One day soon I'm gonna give San Diego a big "Eff You"

Fast forward a little bit and Ani is still hangin with Obi Wan. They are an inseparable team. Whether its stopping plots led by the Sith or winning Oreo dunk championships against the Williams sisters (I'm pretty sure it was them) you can always find Obi & Ani hangin together.

Ani & Obi. The Sith don't stand a chance

Later in the series Ani seems more accomplished and although his side wins you're not really sure if he had a hand in it. For the most part he walked around whining about how he didn't really want to be there and all in all he seemed a little pathetic. What we do know is that a very wrinkled muppet looking creature played a key role and the special effects were good enough to hold your interest. But much like watching a game where the final score is 21 - 17, you're left with your jaw agape wondering what happened.

I've never seen him and Coughlin in the same place at the same time

In the final scene we find our protagonist standing victorious over the more accomplished Jedi. He's defiant and we all hate him. No one really understands how he made this miraculous ascent but there he is sitting at the top wearing a gold jacket and holding his shiny light saber. Sadly because we've all seen Episodes 4 - 6, we can be assured that the mouth breathing never ends.

Say what you will but this guy just wone a second Super Bowl

The good news is that we also know that there will be another. Oh yes, there will be...

Bright Lights Big City

I Need A Translation

Because the way I read this can't possibly be right

Super Bowl XLVI - And The Winner Is...

We’re only a few short days away from the official end of the 2011 – 2012 NFL season. This one will be closed out in grand fashion as the New England Patriots face the New York Giants. As Yogi would say it’s déjà vu all over again.

Before you even ask I'll say it up front. I'm picking the New England Patriots! They are not "my team". I'm not jumping on any bandwagon. I'm a Seahawk fan through and through. Good times, and most recently, bad. But I'm also a football fan. I like to think that I know a little about the game. Heck, at the age of 18 months I was sitting in front of the tube back in 1971 holding a tiny plastic football chanting "hut-hut-hut-hut". Some may say this is sad, but I hold no shame in this fact.

The Patriots are going to win this game. That's right. I said it.

Vegas has the Patriots as a 3 point favorite, but sports writers and expert Analysts everywhere contend that the G-Men will come out victorious. As I mentioned earlier, I don’t agree with the “experts” and I’m going on record as to why.

Here are my Top 5 Reasons Why the New York Giants will LOSE Super Bowl XLVI.

5. Eli Manning – With a little over 2 minutes to go in Super Bowl 42 Eli started what would become the game winning drive. He marched the G-men 83 yards to win the game by a final score of 17 – 14.

The problem and the reason the Giants won’t win: During this now infamous drive, the Patriots dropped not 1, not 2, but 3 “gimme” interceptions. All three where in their hands. This doesn’t even count the miracle catch by Tyree that was severely misplayed by Harrison. Raise your hand if you think that given a similar situation the Patriots will squander the same opportunities again. Yeah…me neither.

4. Ellis Hobbs – Even with those missed opportunities, the game winning TD to Burress never had to happen. Ellis Hobbs is playing an off coverage and bites hard on the worst slant fake of the game. Burress was hobbled all game and couldn’t cut as it was. The fake was W-E-A-K. Hobbs bites and Plex finds himself wide open in the corner of the endzone. I’d like to say that Hobbs shot himself in the foot but that joke is so old even Plexico thinks its worn out.

The problem and the reason this won’t happen again this year: Ellis Hobbs is no longer on the team. Most recently he was with the Philadelphia Eagles, but was forced to retire after a season ending injury in August. Now if you’re thinking that this Secondary isn’t as good as the one from 2008, I’d be inclined to agree with you but with that said it means a lot that Ellis won't be on hand to screw things up for them. But I know what you're thinking. "What about the rest of that horrible defense?" That's what we like to call a segue

3. The 31st ranked Defense – Many are pointing to the defensive ranking of the Patriots as a solid reason on why the Giants will win. After all there *are* only 32 teams in the league. These guys are ranked 31st. And we all know that New York's offense has been playing well this year. Heck, against the Ravens, Edellman was burned several times by Anquan Boldin, because they asked Julien to cover the slot receiver. If the Patriots ask Edellman to cover the slot receiver in this game (most likely Victor Cruz), it could be over before the coin toss right? Right? We all see this don't we? Right. And if we see it, the Hoodie sees it. He sees everything.

The problem and why the Giants will lose: New England is ranked 17th against the Rush (NYG is 19th). And before you say that it’s the NE Secondary that will cost them the most, I’d like to point out that the Patriots were ranked number 2 overall in Interceptions this year with 23. Which just happens to be the same number of Interceptions that the 49ers had. Translation: They aren't nearly as bad as the "experts" would have us believe.

By the way the Giants were the 27th ranked Defense this year. Anyone think that Tom Brady can’t navigate his way past the 27th ranked Defense? The Giants have allowed 37 total points the last 2 games. Now here's a pop quiz for ya. Name the leading post season past catcher for the San Francisco 49ers. If you guessed Vernon Davis, give yourself a gold star. Vernon Davis managed 112 yards and 2 TD's against the Giants. Well at least there's no one on the Patriots' roster that we can make a comparison to for this. Oh wait they have 2 guys don't they? And it won't be Alex Smith throwing them the ball.

One last note about the NFC Championship game. The Giants won the game in overtime. Congratulations. It took a muffed punt and an opposing QB that went ONE FOR FOURTEEN ON THIRD DOWN. And the 1 was the final play of regulation. I promise you that Tom will no problem convertng more than just one 3rd Down.

2. Eli vs. Tom vs. Peyton – Be honest. Remove all your personal bias for the actual people themselves. Take away from all of this your own personal love of whatever NFL team you root for each Sunday. Now ask yourselves one simple question. “Which one of these 3 would you like to have under center for your team?” 80% of you will rank Eli dead last. Consider this the wisdom of the masses. I’m not sayin…I’m just sayin.

And the number 1 reason why the New York Football Giants won’t win Super Bowl XLVI?

1. Myra Kraft – Last off season, when it looked like we were on the disastrous brink of losing pro football for a year, 1 man stood above the rest to keep the talks going in the right direction. And no, it wasn’t Roger Goodell. Players and Owners all agree that without Robert Kraft, there would have been no 2011 – 2012 season. What makes this so note-worthy is that Mr. Kraft did this all while splitting time with his terminally ill wife Myra.

The Patriots, and their fanbase, have dedicated this season to Myra and nothing short of a Super Bowl victory will make it complete. If you’ve ever played sports you know that a group of talented individuals is nothing compared to a Team. Well a Team is nothing compared to a family and that’s what’s happening in the north east corner of the country this year.

But there’s something a little mystical about it too, and it deserves recognition. There is an unforeseen force that his propelling the Patriots towards a win this weekend. I’m more skeptical than most so I’ll understand if you don’t agree but go ask Billy Cundiff what he thinks. You remember him don’t you? He’s the kicker for the Baltimore Ravens. Billy went 19 for 21 from inside 40 yards during the Regular Season, and he went 4 for 5 overall during the Playoffs.

But that 5th one…well I have to believe that Myra had a “hand” in the outcome of that kick. How else do you explain one of the leagues best kicker missing a chip shot that way? Lined up on the right hash he missed it wide LEFT from 32 yards out. Inconceivable.

If it comes down to a funny bounce of a loose ball, or if the game should start to resemble a Buffalo Wild Wings commercial that favors New England, just think of Myra. I know the Patriots will be.

So there you have it sports fans. My top 5 list of reasons the Patriots will emerge victorious. I'll leave you with one other bold prediction for this game. Should he be Active, look for Chad Johnson (cuz that's what his mama named him) to have 4 catches and a TD this weekend. I know he says he's just happy to be there but I have to believe that he wants this more than most and when Wes Welker said after the Week 1 win against the Dolphins that one day there would be a game where Chad would have to make some plays to help them win...well...now's the time lil bro!

Enjoy the game everyone!