"I hate paying bills … Son, don’t say ‘me too.’ I didn’t say that looking to relate to you. I said it instead of ‘go away.’"

If you find yourself computer bored (as I have been lately) give this a try. Go to Shit My Dad Says and enjoy the fun.

Here's a few examples...

Nov 16 #"I don’t need more friends. You got friends and all they do is ask you to help them move. Fuck that. I’m old. I’m through moving shit."

Nov 13 #"A mule kicked Uncle Bob once. Broke his ribs. He punched it in the face… My point? You have an ingrown fucking toenail. Stop bitching."

Nov 10 #"Remember this: you’re just a lucky fucking guy. If people start telling you your dick looks bigger, remember that it’s not."