Brace yourselves folks because I have a shock for you. I have finally managed to offend someone. Or at the very least I've written something that has inspired one of you to reprimand me for my loathsome behavior. Well I am exaggerating a tad but I've certainly managed to ruffle a few feathers.
FINALLY!!!
After over 150 posts...some serious chauvinism...equally as much feminism...a lot of Left Wing Political drivel...and promises of more to come...I have arrived.
Now that I'm here I'd like to thank the good folks in Texas for tuning in. I'm extremely proud to have you on board and I hope you'll stick around. And so as not to make any of you other folks feel neglected I wanna say thanks to the locals here in Washington, the folks that are hanging out in Manch-ville, and all my friends in Minnesota.
Those of you outside the U. S. get a special double fist pump against my chest for just stopping by occasionally. I love you guys!!
Where was I?
Oh right. I was apologizing.
It has been suggested that I am both not funny (oh the humanity) and that I should get my facts straight about who dumped who in the whole Sheryl Crow Lance Armstrong split up deal (sorry but as a very famous Texan has taught us over the last 7 years facts can fuck up a good story faster than anything else).
Still I don't want to be too callous so allow me to take this moment to apologize to any of you that happen to be related to Sheryl or Lance. That is please allow me to apologize to any of you that are related to Sheryl or Lance and read my post. Wait that's not right either. Please allow me to apologize to any of you that are related to Sheryl or Lance, read my post, and found it offensive.
There much better. Do you think this post will make TMZ? That'd be sooooo fuckin bitchin? Maybe I could get my own paparazzi.
To the rest of you that may have found something of offense in my comments you should be clear about one very crucial fact. At the best of times I am a Jackass that could care less what you think about my sense of humor. It's mine and not yours. I tell jokes because I think they're funny. They're for me. I take some pride during the small occasions when someone else laughs but mostly I don't give a shit.
To one particular Texan I offer this. Please accept my rants as nothing more than they are. Which is to say that it gives me an opportunity to express and vent about things that interest ME.
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