Gooooooaaaaaaaalllllllll

It’s World Cup time, and much like 4 years ago that means that its time for me to express my distaste for Soccer (pronounced “sucker” with a fake Europeen accent).

Here’s a real news story from earlier today, with a comedic slant that I wish I'd written, followed by a phony news clipping that applies to “Sucker”.




"These women, who have been part of a larger group, are suspected to be involved in organized acts to conduct unlawful commercial activities." So goes the Johannesburg police department's complain about the lovely Dutch soccer fans above, two of whom were actually arrested this week under the World Cup host city's "ambush marketing" law.

Really?

I mean, since when are three-dozen ladies in tight orange dresses unlawful? And since when do you get threatened with six months in prison for wearing tight orange clothing provided by a tasty brew like Bavaria? One of the worlds worst beers this is not. There are sticky marketing campaigns in Boozeland, and then there are the governing bodies of international sports. FIFA claims it's "appalled" by the women, which, frankly, is just ridiculous. There is a lot less that's appalling about these women than there is about FIFA's tie to its official beer — which I happily had three of last night, but which, for supporting your favorite international squad, has got nothing on Bavaria. So give it a rest, FIFA, or at least take out your sponsor-steroid rage on these whackjobs.

Photo Credit: Mike Egerton/AP Images

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