Saturday, March 31, 2007

The most powerful man in the free world


Today I suppose I'm a little angry. Over the last 6 years I've managed to delude myself and forget that George Bush is the President of the United States. I've somehow on a subconcious level turned it into a foggy dream that I will eventually wake up from. But today I'm awake again. And as usual being awake means being outraged.

Fuck me? No Sir, FUCK YOU!!!



But I have to be careful. I am prone to hypertension. It's important that I watch my blood pressure levels. To this end there are certain things that I try very hard not to think about.

I try to avoid thinking about the way our international credibility has been brought down to levels that are previously unheard of.

I don't think about all of the overwhelming evidence that clearly indicates that this administration fabricated most of the events of 9/11/2001 and in so doing took advantage of our patriotism.

I turn the other way at the thought of how the mere word patriotism has somehow become synonomous with blind loyalty to an unjust war.

I pretend to have forgotten the multitude of lies that were told to the American people in an attempt to raise support for the unlawful invasion of another country.

As a veteran the mere concept that these actions have resulted in over 3,200 U.S. Military casualties (good kids just doing their job), and over 17,000 wounded, causes instant amnesia.

As a father I refuse to think about the effects the last 6 years will have on a world that my daughter will one day inherit. I refuse to imagine what she and her generation will have to do to overcome the deficit. And were I to consider the drastic measures they will have to take just to ensure that their kids inherit a world that considers the environmental effects of their actions and policies my BP would jump at least 10 points.

Fortunately, there is a placebo for days like today. From the album "I'm not dead" I give you Pink's "Dear Mr. President". The song was released about 10 months or so and still has the ability to calm the rage within. Please come take a walk with me.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Ghandi was a HUGE Taylor Hicks fan




The Admiral is a really big American Idol fan. I can take it or leave it but I do find Simon incredibly funny. From my perspective this latest season is particularly horrible. Even the few good singers are devoid of any real charisma. The best in the bunch is Melinda Doolittle and she looks like The Hunchback of Notre Dame. The remaining cute chick is a good karaoke singer at best. Oh how we long for the days of Carrie Underwood.
Which brings me to Sanjaya Malakar. Oh sweet Mary and Joseph! The kid is horrendous. He's actually comical. But the best part about how bad he is is the reaction he gets from folks all over the country. I dare you to Google "Sanjaya". There are folks that are actually starving themselves until he has been voted off. Gawd I wish I was making this up.





Meanwhile there is the brilliance of the internet that allows those of you that believe that this phenomenon known as American Idol is a joke to vote for the worst. Now you know how Kellie Pickler managed to last as long as she did. Sure she was cute but the shrieking was beyond what a man should have to endure under even the best of circumstances. A word from the wise...don't try to view the site during the show as it is extremely busy at that time and its almost impossible to get on.

Eulogy


Today at the young age of 58 a hero lost his battle with cancer. Bill Scott, more readily known in these parts as Bill the Beerman passed away today and I must admit that it caused a twinge in my heart. He started out as a bartender on Capital Hill who needed another job in 1976. He found work at the newly opened Kingdome as a beer vendor.

"I'd show up start vending, 1st quarter, 2nd quarter, once we stopped vending that would be for me a chance to go play with the crowd"

Much like a lot of the folks in the Pacific Northwest I am a Bill Diciple. He believed that the crowd and the energy that it created could will its team to win.



"People do create energy. You could see the bolts of energy bounce off the top of the Kingdome. It does affect the outcome of the game"

If there was an embodiment of The 12th Man it was Bill, who during his latter years performed as a Synergy Facilitator for free (he worked in such a capacity for the Portland Trailblazers).

If it is true, and I believe it is, that the Seattle Fans are the loudest in the NFL. The catalyst for this was Bill Scott. Thank you Bill for helping a young boy realize the effect his passion for the game could have on his home team.

Monday, March 26, 2007

The azaleas are in full bloom




Opening day is about a week off and I should really do a posting about that. The problem is that I'm much too jazzed about an event that starts on April 5th. The Masters. It is afterall a tradition unlike any other. Besides, Baseball goes on for 162 games so there'll be plenty of time for me to agonize over the M's.

There are 3 moments that stand out for me as I think about Hootie's "toonament". One is Tiger's win as a Rookie in 1997 (the kid won by 12 strokes) The second is Jack's win in 1986 which for me is synonamous with Vern Lundquists' "Yes Sir!". The yellow shirt, the plaid pants, and the raising of the putter that almost all golfers now do without even thinking about it. At the age of 46 with his son Jackie on the bag, The Golden Bear wasn't even on the front page of the leaderboard after the 3rd round:

Greg Norman -6
Seve Ballesteros -5
Bernhard Langer -5
Donnie Hammond -5
Nick Price -5
Tommy Nakajima -4
Tom Kite -4
Tom Watson -4

On Sunday he made one of the more legendary charges of any tournament in history (let alone The Masters). He parred the 8th hole after hitting his drive into the trees, birdied the 9th, 10th, and 11th hole, and played the next three holes at even par (bogey, birdie par). And then on 15 he hit a perfect drive. He looks over to his son Jack Jr. and asks him how far he thought a 3 would go here. Most would think he was asking how far a 3 iron would travel but in fact he was pondering the ramifications of what it would mean to his chances if he eagled the hole. Smack dab in the middle of what is known as Amen Corner he's thinking "I can win this thing". He got his eagle and on 17 took the lead with the now 2nd most memorable call by Mr. Vern Lundquist.

Why is this call the second most memorable you ask? Because in 2005 Vern happened to be the hole reporter at the 16th on Sunday and what happened then was more than miraculous. It was improbable. If you listen closely you can hear the announcers talk about how difficult this shot is. There are a lot of different clips of this but here's one accompanied by Handel's Messiah. The music is completely unedited and the pause comes at the perfect time. I am unashamed to say that it gave me goosebumps just watching it again. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

On the bright side he could have asked her to make him a sandwhich

There was a time when Mel Gibson's name went hand in hand with blockbuster must see movies. Now it seems he's trapped in this whirlwind of controversy. Doesn't anyone remember the brilliance that was "Man without a face"?

Well on the heals of his Hitler ressurection Mel is being hounded for his latest movie "Apocalypto". Apparently there are some who feel that the movie portrays Mayans in a negative light. Now admittedly I haven't seen the movie. To be honest I was still a little pissed off that no one warned me that "Passion" was all in sub titles.

What I do love is Mel's answer to the critics. I think he's finally gotten it right. Don't play into their hands. If the Mayan community protests and complains about how they were portrayed you tell them to "go make your own movie". Classic.

And if some over educated chippie decides to jump on the Crucify Mel bandwagon you look over and say "lady fuck off". Trust me when I say its not as messy as consuming your enemies with fireballs from your eyes and bolts of lightning from your arse.

A link to the article that has caused me so much delight this morning is below.


http://www.tmz.com/2007/03/23/mel-goes-ballistic-f-you/

And of course fish grow on trees

Apparently blondes are stupid (and hot) in every country


Biggie's gettin married

A really good friend of mine is getting married this summer and for some reason this clip makes me think of him and his bride to be.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

It's talented yet under appreciated (or unknown) musician time

There are so many talentless hacks out there getting record deals that its amazing. What's worse is that some of the worlds best go without ever being noticed. Between Brittany Spears and some of the freaks on American Idol its a wonder anyone ever hears some of the brilliance that's out there. Here's to a broader perspective.

While in Barcelona, watching the only english speaking show on at the time I came across this extremely talented artist. I don't remember the name of the show I was watching but I do remmeber the name of the album, "Smile...it confuses people". The name of the song is "I wish I was a punk rocker" and her name is Sandi Thom.




Katie Melua comes all the way from Georgia (the country not the state). She is that regions answer to Norah Jones and she is as talented as she is cute. From her debut album "Call off the search" I present to you "Crawling up a hill".




Saving the best for last here. This one is by Ani (pronounced ah-knee) Difranco. She is absolutely adorable. But she's also a very savvy business woman. Not only has she produced more than a dozen records she owns her own record label "Righteous Babe Records" and as such makes more per record than most other singer/songwriters in the biz. I've gone a bit vanilla with this song because it is easily the one that most folks will recognize due to its late 1990's radio play. The song is "32 Flavors" from the album "Not a pretty girl". Despite the songs release in 1995 it received little air play until around 1998 or so.




A double dose of Ani because I love her. I give you "Hypnotized" from her latest album "Repreive"


Monday, March 19, 2007

Man dubbed "Speak no evil" unavailable for comment

Blind auto mechanic hires deaf assistant





Cars have been Larry Woody's life for more than 30 years. He fixed them, he raced them, he restored them. But five years ago on Interstate 5 a truck blew across the median and drove over his tiny Toyota Celica. He almost died, and he was blinded.

But Woody, 46, still works on his 1968 El Camino, dabbles in racing and recently bought his own shop, D & D Foreign Automotive, in Cottage Grove. And he has hired a deaf assistant.

His red-tipped cane stands idle. He walks without hesitation through his shop. He handles the paperwork and billing with the help of a talking computer. He still changes fuel lines, hoists cars and changes filters.

"So much of it is done by feel anyway," he told the Eugene Register-Guard. "I use my hands to see what I'm doing now."

He has hired Otto Shima, 17, an apprentice from Cottage Grove High School, but they have never spoken directly. Shima was born deaf.

Interpreter J.J. Johansson accompanies Shima on his twice-weekly visits to the shop. Her hands fly as she first translates what Woody says to Shima and then turns and voices his reply.

Recently the two stood under the open hood of a truck in need of clutch parts.

Woody felt among boxes until he grasped the right one. Removing a hose, he ran his fingers along it, telling Shima what role it played in the engine.

"He's just another student and I'm just another guy trying to help him," Woody said. "I kinda put the disabilities aside."

Shima said that Woody inspires him because "he never gives up."

About a year after his accident, he was behind the wheel of a race car. Taking direction from a friend through an earbud, he drove a buddy's car about 30 mph around the Cottage Grove Speedway track at least 25 times. The next summer he did a couple of demolition derbies in an Oldsmobile modified to allow a passenger to sit with him and be his eyes.

This month he got a spot on CBS Evening News. Since then he has received grateful calls from people, some blind, some not.

He said a caller from Florida said he had recently dropped out of flight school, too intimidated to take his final exam.

"He told me, `If you can do what you're doing in your condition, I have no excuse. I'm going back,' " Woody said. "That's what it's all about right there, helping someone I don't know."

Kathleen O'Gieblyn, a vocational rehabilitation counselor at the Eugene Oregon Commission for the Blind, worked with Woody following his accident. She called his story "extremely empowering."

Woody left high school to work in 1978 and married his sweetheart, Della. With help from Della and the Oregon Commission for the Blind he vowed to return to work less than a year after his accident. He learned Braille, to walk with a cane, and to operate in total darkness.

"Some people wake up and say, `Oh, man, I've gotta go to work.' I get up and say, `Oh man, I get to go to work,'" Woody said.




Copyright © 2007 The Associated Press

Tokyo Drift meets the Highlander

Although I really wish I could do this I also recognize that I'd be a fool to try.


Sunday, March 18, 2007

Breasts with brains

A friend of mine and I were talking last night and ultimately came to the conclusion that he is Jeff Murdock of Coupling (BBC) fame. If you haven't seen the show you've missed out on some of the funniest rants I've heard in a long time.

Below is a tribute to one of my best friends. Long live Grave Danger!





Friday, March 16, 2007

Why me

This one is for you Orb. Like I always say..."you can take the girl out of the trailer park but you can't take the trailer park out of the girl (just ask Brittney)"



Former skater Tonya Harding "tweaking out," phones police

By Noelle Crombie
Newhouse News Service

Clark County sheriff's deputies responded to two calls early Sunday involving infamous figure skater Tonya Harding, who was described in police reports as "very agitated" and "tweaking out."

Sgt. Tim Bieber said Wednesday that police received the first call at 4:56 a.m. Harding called police to Yacolt Towing. According to a police report of the incident, Harding said four men and a woman tried to break into her car and steal it and were trying to stash rifles on the side of her property.

She told police she was on "new medication" and was experiencing an adverse reaction.

In his report, the deputy wrote that Harding's account was a "very implausible story."

He described her as "very agitated" and "glancing everywhere." He noted that the former star skater was "frustrated others can't see the people she sees."

Later the same morning, about 9 a.m., police received another call regarding Harding, this time from a friend who told authorities the skater was "tweaking out, seeing animals." The caller said Harding was staying with her and was not violent. She said she worried about her own children's welfare.

The deputy who responded to the call took Harding back to her home, a trailer in Clark County, and checked her house to "put her at ease," Bieber said. The officer then advised Harding to see a doctor.

Harding became notorious for her part in the conspiracy to harm competitor Nancy Kerrigan in 1994.

Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company

For other sad facts and fantasies on Orb's gal Tonya visit http://www.tonyaharding.com/

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

*NSFW* Find anyone at anytime instantly

http://www.sat-gps-locate.com


With this link you can locate anyone just by entering in their cell phone number.

Amalthea can't hold her liquor

This is the reasons I love the internet. This qualifies as instant gratification for me



Man tells cops unicorn caused crash Wed Mar 14, 7:14 AM ET



A man told police not to blame him for crashing his truck into a light post — it was that unicorn behind the wheel. Prosecutor Ingrid Rosenquist said Phillip C. Holliday Jr. initially denied driving the truck involved in the March 7 crash in Billings. He told officers at the scene that a unicorn was driving, she said.

Holliday, 42, pleaded not guilty Tuesday to felony charges of criminal endangerment and drunken driving.

A pickup truck drove through a red light and nearly struck another truck in the intersection, according to court documents. The driver then made an erratic U-turn through a gas station, crossed the street and crashed into a light pole. Nobody was injured.

Holliday has five drunken-driving convictions. District Judge Gregory Todd kept his bail at $100,000 despite his lawyer arguing that Holliday's last such conviction was 14 years ago.




Copyright © 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. The information contained in the AP News report may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed without the prior written authority of The Associated Press.


Copyright © 2007 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

The human highlight machine


Myself and some of the guys at the office were talking today about this years NCAA tournament. Do you realize that Lebron James would be a Junior this year? Can you imagine what he'd be doing to these kids in College?

We went from talking about how much he'd own every Campus he stepped on to, to who was the best Center in the game. And from there to if you could have any starting five in the NBA who would you pick? The criteria was for 2 Guards, 2 Forwards, and 1 Center.

Although there were a lot of similarities in what we picked not one of the 3 of us chose the same assembly of players. Here's my starting 5:

G - Steve Nash
G - Dwayne Wade
F - Lebron James
F - Tim Duncan (even though I can't stand him)
C - Dirk Nowitzki (yeah I know he's a Forward but I like the idea of making an opposing Center guard him at the arc)

Forgetting the fact that the NBA is a horrible product right now, I'm curious to find out what others would list for a starting 5? Who's on the hardwood for you?

Monday, March 12, 2007

"Winged Freak Terrorizes"

I am so moist right now


Yippee Ki Yay

This could be the worst movie ever but I promise you I will be there on opening day.

Come out to the coast. We'll get together have a few laughs.


Time

Some of you are aware of my fascination with Science Fiction and time travel. Below is a link to an article that is both interesting and disappointing (imho). The problem with the theories within the article is that they are short sighted and limited to current technologies. Not to mention that it completely disregards some of Einsteins greatest works.

I'd say "enjoy" but it didn't really hit my happy button so...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17544598/wid/11915829?GT1=9145

Aloha also means good bye

Greetings from Hawaii...which incindentally is where the Admiral spent the last 11 days. As always She was equipped with the camera and ere she went a photo op ensued.



A view from lil Sis' balcony



Ain't she the cutest?



As a button I tell ya

Friday, March 9, 2007

No power in the 'verse can stop her

It was easily one of the best Sci-Fi shows of the last 20 years. The tragedy was that it was sold to Fox and then subsequently butchered. Fortunately Josh answered the call of the fans and made a follow up movie.

Keep flyin Mal!

Thursday, March 8, 2007

I too had sex with A. N. Smith...or Credit where credits due

It is worth noting that my life is so incredibly random that the inspiration for these posts comes from all over the map. However one of this Bloggers more frequent contributers is the gal with the purple painted wings. The below article is a credit to her wonderful sense of humor.

Is O.J. Simpson Dannielynn's Father?
Newspaper Reports He Told A Friend He Might Be The Father Of Anna Nicole's Baby


New York, March 7, 2007
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
O.J. Simpson and Anna Nicole Smith both starred in 1994's "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult." (AP)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
(CBS) Yet another man thinks that Anna Nicole Smith's little girl could be the fruit of his loins.

When the buxom blonde died last month, O.J. Simpson "said he was throwing his hat into the ring," videographer Norm Pardo told the New York Post.

Pardo shot some 70 hours of footage of Simpson from 2000 to 2005, the newspaper said.

At least three men — Smith's partner Howard K. Stern, photographer Larry Birkhead and Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the husband of actress Zsa Zsa Gabor — have claimed paternity over the little girl.

"He said he knew Anna Nicole pretty well, and he said he had slow-moving sperm, and he might be the father," Pardo said.

Simpson and Smith both starred in 1994's "Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult."

According to the newspaper, Simpson, who often visits the Bahamas where Smith was laid to rest on Friday, also joked to Pardo, "I hope they don't do a DNA test on Anna Nicole's baby. If they find out Dannielynn is mine, I don't want Fred Goldman trying to seize her money — or the baby herself."

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Ode to Scrat!!

Man Down!!!

Over the course of the last week or so I've been limping around like a jackass. The pain was bad enough initially that I bought a cane. The original diagnosis was that I had a bone bruise. After watching my left foot swell up like a bad melon I went back to the doctor to discover that I have Cellulitus. Essentially bacteria has gotten inside my foot through a crack in the skin and now I'm suffering big time. We men are such babies when we're sick or hurt but with the wife out of town I have to cowboy up. For those of you that are interested in learning a little more about my calamity I offer this link:

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000855.htm


And for those of you that are more intersted in seeing a couple of show offs strut what they can do with their left feet I offer this:



Saturday, March 3, 2007

Go away Barry...please!

Apparently steroids also gives you multiple eyes...


Condi get's down

I have nothing of value to add to this fine piece!

"I pity the fools"

I think my favorite part is watching Dumbsfeld roll paper. That and the reminder of the genius that was Stephen J. Cannell.

Quid Pro Quo Clarice

A buddy of mine put a shit load of songs in MP3 format on a disc for me last summer. One of the songs on there is a gem of a tune called "Lotion". If you're a movie geek like me you'll absolutely love this.

Friday, March 2, 2007

Pretty interesting

A pretty decent vid that shows how often the Middle East has changed hands

Is (s)he wearing Hoof Boots?



Got to get a pair of these for the Missus





A closer look at what makes them special




Or maybe a pair of these

The fear of God and the feel of the rod

Some are worried that the youths of the world will think that Christianity condones killing in the name of God. Didn't the Holy Crusades teach us anything? There are plenty of examples of this in history. Maybe we should stop our kids from reading history books too. Oy Vay.

I think we found him Chief...

This man is about to have a very bad day...

I once said that if there are more than a dozen people doing it there's a magazine for it. It would appear that this carries over to calendars as well.



This and other oddities can be found at the City Morgue Gift Shop http://www.citymorguegiftshop.com/index.shtml

In the FREEBIE section you can download an Elvis Autopsy report and a realistic looking Toe Tag (hmmmm)
Just a few ads I stumbled upon. Somehow I don't think they'll all make it through their respective corporate selection processes.


To have and to hold...

I'm quite proud to live somewhere where legislation is being worked to equalize relationships regardless of gender. The quote at the end of the article is worth the read alone but I do have one question. Why the need for one of the partners to be above the age of 62?

{courtesy of the Seattle Times}

Domestic partnership bill passes state Senate

By Andrew Garber
Seattle Times staff reporter

OLYMPIA -- A domestic-partnership bill for gay and lesbian couples appears headed for state law.

The state Senate this afternoon passed the measure by a 28 to 19 vote after a long, emotional and at times heated debate. The bill is expected to easily pass the House. Gov. Christine Gregoire has said she supports the measure.

The legislation would give gays, lesbians, and unmarried heterosexuals age 62 and older the right to visit a partner in the hospital, inherit their property without a will and make funeral arrangements, among other things.

Opponents of the measure argued it would ultimately lead to gay marriage. "Call it what you want, but this bill is absolutely conferring rights that are reserved for married couples" to gays and lesbians, said Sen. Don Benton, R-Vancouver.

Sen. Val Stevens, R-Arlington, said: "This bill is not about equal rights, it is about changing society in ways that will ultimately harm it."

Sen. Ed Murray, D-Seattle, the bill's lead sponsor, said he supports extending the right to marry to gay and lesbian couples, but this bill does not do that. Instead, he said, it extends some basic rights to those couples.

The requirements



Under legislation that passed the state Senate today, couples wanting domestic-partnership status must:

• Share a residence.

• Be at least 18 years old.

• Not be married to another person or in a domestic partnership with anyone else.

• Be capable of consenting to the relationship.

• Not be blood relations.

• Be either members of the same sex, or if in a heterosexual partnership, have one person be at least 62 years old.
"Imagine for a moment your spouse was in the hospital and dying and you could not go into the room and hold her hand," Murray said. "This bill will do the work of justice and end that hurt."

The bill's key sponsors, a coalition of gay lawmakers in the House and Senate, have said they see the measure as the first step to gay marriage law. A bill that would allow gays and lesbian couples to marry died in committee earlier.

In the meantime, supporters say, the domestic partnership bill is a way to provide some basic rights that married couples already have.

Among other things, the bill would allow domestic partners to:

• Inherit when there is no will.

• Give consent for health care if a partner isn't competent.

• Make funeral arrangements.

• Authorize organ and tissue donation.

The bill requires a central state registry of domestic partnerships that would be kept at the Secretary of State's Office. Couples would have to file an affidavit of domestic partnership with the office and pay a filing fee.

During the debate, Murray noted that the state Legislature passed a law banning gay marriage in 1998, told lawmakers: "You have prevented us from marrying, please do not prevent us from caring for each other."

Andrew Garber: 360-236-8268 or agarber@seattletimes.com

Where's Sir Ulrich when you need him

What sort of wimpy ass country do you have to be from if you get invaded by Switzerland? Seriously, aren't you just asking to have your ass kicked by any country or Red State trying to make a name for themselves.

"Hey Jeb what are you doin this weekend?" "I dunno George, wanna go kick some Liechenstein butt?"

{courtesy of the Seattle Times}


Swiss accidentally invade Liechtenstein




ZURICH, Switzerland — What began as a routine training exercise almost ended in an embarrassing diplomatic incident after a company of Swiss soldiers got lost at night and marched into neighboring Liechtenstein.

According to Swiss daily Blick, the 170 infantry soldiers wandered just over a mile across an unmarked border into the tiny principality early Thursday before realizing their mistake and turning back.

A spokesman for the Swiss army confirmed the story but said that there were unlikely to be any serious repercussions for the mistaken invasion.

"We've spoken to the authorities in Liechtenstein and it's not a problem," Daniel Reist told The Associated Press.

Officials in Liechtenstein also played down the incident.

Interior ministry spokesman Markus Amman said nobody in Liechtenstein had even noticed the soldiers, who were carrying assault rifles but no ammunition. "It's not like they stormed over here with attack helicopters or something," he said.

Liechtenstein, which has about 34,000 inhabitants and is slightly smaller than Washington DC, doesn't have an army.