Simba Gets His Ass Kicked

I'd heard a story about this but just hearing about it doesn't do it justice. The basic synopsis is that a herd of buffalo are out on a stroll minding their own business when they are ambushed by a pride of lions. The lions manage to segregate one of the baby buffalo and from there calamity ensues. This is worth watching in full screen mode.

Chain Mail Revisited

This is precisely why I don't read - let alone forward - these stupid things. My apologies to anyone that read the previous post and got as excited about it as I did. After looking at the math a little more closely it won't work. Well, it works in that you get some money back but according to MS Exel (the only calculator I could find that would actually count that high), you don't get $425 thousand, YOU GET $425.

Whoops!

Like the song says...Money changes everything!

Chain Mail

I'm not a big fan of chain mail. In fact I tend to delete them rather than even bothering to read them. It's usually pretty obvious when you get one too. So today I'm going to break my rule of not forwarding them. I'm going to break it to the extent that I'm actually going to post a copy of the email here. I'm doing so because the premise of the email I received was so fucking good that all I could say was "hmph".

Don't worry folks. The proposal in this email will never happen.

I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a We
Deserve It Dividend.

To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bonafide
U.S. Citizens 18+. Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting
every man, woman and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at
adults 18 and up... So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon
that equals $425,000.00.

My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a "We Deserve It
Dividend". Of course, it would NOT be tax free. So let's assume a
tax rate of 30%. Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in
taxes. That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket. A
husband and wife has $595,000.00. What would you do with $297,500.00
to $595,000.00 in your family?

Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads
Put away money for college - it'll be there
Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
Buy a new car - create jobs
Invest in the market - capital drives growth
Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves
Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company that is
cutting back, and of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces.


If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of
trickling out a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that
is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every
adult U S Citizen 18+!

As for AIG - liquidate it.
Sell off its parts.
Let American General go back to being American General.
Sell off the real estate.
Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work." But can you imagine the
Coast-To-Coast Block Party! How do you spell Economic Boom? I trust
my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion We
Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in
Washington DC.

And remember, This plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5
Billion is returned instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.

Ahhh...I feel so much better getting that off my chest.

Kindest personal regards,

- A Creative Guy & Citizen of the Republic

Worth The Trip And To Hell With The Price Of Gas

This is kind of cool. Apparently this is happening in a lot of different places throughout the world. Most recently they've done one in California. What they've done is place ridges in the road. Little grooves in the pavement that when you drive over them at a particular speed it plays a song. Here's an example of the most recognizable example in Anyang Korea. The song is Mary Had A Little Lamb.

Too Easy

Ever see Chelsea Lately? It stars Chelsea Handler, who just happens to be one of the sexiest comics alive. She's not above easy humor either and that means taking a shot at our favorite ex Wasilla AK Mayor and VP hopeful Sarah Palin. Enjoy!

Live From New York

It's been a very long time since I've watched SNL. But when a co-worker sent this to me earlier today I howled.

Hail Mary Full Of Grace {NSFW}

She is Tea Leoni and although some of us cannot agree on whether or not she is hot (SHE IS) we could probably agree that her husband David Duchovney is extremely talented. So much so that I just fell in love with his latest project.

Here’s the opening clip of the first episode of Californication…

Seriously...A Heartbeat Away?!? Oy Vay

So Caribou Barbie finally sat down one on one with out her Great Uncle Johnny there to tell her what to day. None of us believe that she wasn't prepped before hand on what to say but even considering that basic fact she in no way sounds ready to be President.

And before you counter with "she's not running for President" I'd like to remind you that John McCain is 72 years old and a 2 time cancer survivor. His odds of survival are getting worse, not better. There's a 50/50 shot that before the end of the next 4 years, given the stresses and demands of the position he won't make it.

Listen closely to her first interview since being thrust on to the national scene. One of the people in the room has been to more than two foreign countries (Canada and Mexico don't count). One of the people on screen knows what the "Bush Doctrine" is. Charlie Gibson has a better grasp of both domestic and foreign affairs than she does. Put another way...Charlie Gibson is more prepared to be Vice President than Sarah Palin is. These aren't difficult questions here. He's throwing her softballs! It looks like he's a college professor giving a struggling student a little after class tutoring. This isn't hard hitting journalism, he's coaxing her along until she can get the right answer.

Absolutely pathetic!



Does anyone really believe that she can partner with McCain to make our country stronger? If you are a strong supporter of the current administration (you probably aren't reading this Blog but on the off chance that you are) are you under the impression that terrorist will be less likely to attack us because President Palin is at the helm?

Caribou Barbie

By now most of you have heard Caribou Barbie refer to herself as a “Hockey Mom”. During her acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention she cleverly said that the difference between a Hockey Mom and a Pitbull was lipstick. So I thought it would be fun to list some of the other differences between the two. Let’s dance!!

Top 5 differences between a Hockey Mom and a Pitbull

5. Lipstick
4. Pitbulls have less hair (think about it)
3. A Pitbull won’t bitch at you if you want to leave it at home and go to the hockey match with the boys.
2. If the Pitbull is barking outside of the back door and the Hockey Mom is yelling from the front door the Pitbull will most likely shut up when you let it inside.

And the number one difference between a Hockey Mom and a Pitbull…

1. A Pitbull is smart enough to know it isn’t qualified to be Vice President of the United States.

Too Few, Yet Too Many

Today is September 11, 2008. All day I’ve been contemplating what to write that could possibly sum up what I and I’m sure many others think about on this day. It’s tougher than you might think.

I don't think anyone will ever forget where they were when they heard what had happened. And we all remember different moments about what happened in New York 7 years ago. The moment that has flashed in my mind all day is that of folks jumping from the building. The thought that this was a better option than whatever horror remained inside. That the only chance of survival was improbable at best. Or maybe it was a simpler choice of how they preferred to die given the alternative. It gives me chills even now.

For the majority of the day the cable news networks have been replaying the entire scene. Even if we wanted to forget we were not going to be allowed to.

In a lot of ways it’s good that I can’t come up with the proper words to express the emotion that may rise in us when thinking about what happened back then. I run the risk of demeaning it by even attempting to.

So in an attempt at brevity (albeit too late) I will leave you all to consider what has happened both here and around the globe since then. For me one word carried me through those early months of terror, grief, and anger. There was one singular theme that surfaced from my very core.

Endure!

Lastly, a cautionary warning. The images in the below vid are graphic in nature and although they are work safe viewing them might be a bit much for some.

Good Hunting Will!

Aren't we all thinking the same thing here?

"Absurd"

"Terrifying"

"Folksy"

And my personal favorite "Disney".

Good stuff!

Son Of A...

Pale Blue Dot

The above picture is of the LHC. The Large Hadron Collider. The LHC consists of a 17-mile long ring of superconducting magnets and in using it scientist hope to create a particle beam(s). These magnets will be used to bend and focus the beam(s). There will be a shitload of protons moving at a gnats hair beneath the speed of light. And there will be collisions. Lots of them. These collisions have a lot of folks concerned, but more on that later. For those of you still saying "huh", this experiment is supposed to recreate the conditions that existed right after the Big Bang. Sounds cool doesn't it?

All in all, this is a pretty big week in the world of Science. Big enough that even Carl Sagan might've stopped what he was doing to take serious notice. Prof. Stephen Hawking says that this experiment is vital to the future of our lives here on Earth. This week, when they flip the switch on the Hadron Collider or Supercollider depending on how attached you are to the whole deal, some fear the world could come to an end.

Of course there's been some controversy over the entire idea. And I'm not sure if the Holy Rollers have gotten a hold of it yet to tell us all how wrong we are for playing God. I do know that some folks are really concerned that one of the side effects of the experiment will be a few(miniature) black holes that will cause the end of the world. Actually that sounds kind of cool too.

For more on the LHC go here

I know, I know it's all a little nerdy but step back and think about what they're doing. We're talking black hole here. When I was born I'm pretty sure they were just theoretical and now someone might create one as a side effect. That Rocks!!!

And speaking of a little nerdy...Enjoy!

Whoops

Just another reason to not have a My Space page. I'm just sayin!

New Week - New "Pick Of The..."

Well huh

Bobo Is Creepy

Since this is opening weekend of the NFL I thought I'd revisit what I thought was the best commercial from last years Superbowl.



More brilliance from E-Trade

I'm not sayin...I'm just sayin'

Look if you're gonna stand in the limelight and run for the second highest office in our country then you better have your shit together. That means don't get caught in a lie on your first day (Bridge to nowhere my ass) - don't be in the middle of an ethics committe violation in your home state - and for cryin out loud if you've go some shit to hide about your daughter and her pregnancy (or pregnancy) that might put both your ability as a leader and a parent under scrutiny you might want to consider turning down the job when the old fart calls you. I'm just sayin! If its even remotely possible that you've got some shit that could come out you'd have to be Helen Fucking Keller to not think we'd find out. Even Alaska has the internet

And before someone starts in with the "I can't believe you're talking about this." And the "why won't you people just leave her alone." I'm gonna call bullshit because I had to listen to 6 weeks worth of Rev. Wright crap and he wasn't even related to Barack. So with 60 some odd days left you best believ IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!

Let's Go Polar Bear Huntin'

As political humor goes these are pretty good. Enjoy!


The Phone Call



Let's Get Nuts

Pick Of The Week

Nuff Said

Even Chuck Norris Thinks He's Too Old -- or --Flores Para Los Muertos

I almost didn't post this one. A dear friend (and frequenter of my ramblings) is going through a very tough time as his Mom battles cancer. Death, something we all have to face eventually, is also a topic that we all avoid. What we think about is our own personal mortality. Anyway, I hope he will forgive my insensitivity.

As you all know there's an election going on and Alexander Burns of Politico.com has written a piece that will certainly raise a few eyebrows. At the very least it should spark conversation at the local "water cooler".

The gist of the article is what do our insurance and social security statistics say about a 72 year old male and his odds of living to be 80? There's your intro...read it for yourself:

McCain and the politics of mortality

By: Alexander Burns

Since John McCain announced Friday that first-term Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin would be his running mate, Democrats have been quick to point out that the 44-year-old governor could soon be just “a heartbeat away from the presidency.” The veiled reference to McCain’s advanced age is hard to miss.

It’s a macabre point to raise on the night when Palin will speak to the convention here — but a look at the actuarial tables insurance companies use to evaluate customers shows that it’s not an irrelevant one. According to these statistics, there is a roughly 1 in 3 chance that a 72-year-old man will not reach the age of 80, which is how old McCain would be at the end of a second presidential term. And that doesn’t factor in individual medical history, such as McCain’s battles with potentially lethal skin cancer.

“For a man, that’s above the expected lifetime at the present,” said Michael Powers, a professor of risk management and insurance at Temple University’s Fox School of Business.

The odds of a 72-year-old man living four more years, or one full White House term, are better. But for a man who has lived 72 years and 67 days (McCain’s age on Election Day this year), there is between a 14.2 and 15.1 percent chance of dying before Inauguration Day 2013, according to the Social Security Administration’s 2004 actuarial tables and the authoritative 2001 mortality statistics assembled by the National Association of Insurance Commissioners.

Going by the Social Security Administration’s tables, that’s nearly ten times the likelihood that a man aged 47 years and 92 days (Barack Obama’s age on Election Day this year) will die before Jan. 20, 2013.

Using the NAIC tables instead, which factor in the fact that Obama has been a smoker for most of his adult life, a non-smoker McCain’s age is still six times as likely to die in the next four years as a smoker Obama’s age.

Actuaries are quick to point out that mortality statistics describe broad population trends. They insist the models can’t necessarily be applied to individual people.

“Actuarial models are good for estimating the average future lifetime of, say, 100,000 50-year-olds, or how many out of 100,000 50-year-olds will survive to 60, but are lousy at estimating about one particular 50-year-old,” explained Jim Daniel, a professor of actuarial studies at the University of Texas.

The odds, then, that McCain will reach the age of 76 or 80 may be considerably higher than in the population at large.

Jack Luff, an actuary with the Society of Actuaries, also notes that the NAIC statistics are slightly weighted toward a higher probability of death.

“The [Commissioners Standard Ordinary] table is directed at life insurance and does have a margin in it with respect to extra deaths for financial reporting purposes,” said Luff.

The same calculations made by utilizing an annuity table, which is used for the purposes of disbursing pensions and tends to predict slightly greater longevity, suggest that a man McCain’s age has a marginally reduced one in ten chance of not reaching age 76.

Still, the quarter-century age gap between Obama and McCain is the widest ever between major-party presidential candidates. And no matter what table is applied, the difference in average mortality rates of men McCain’s age and men Obama’s age is enormous.

According to the Social Security Administration, there is a roughly 1.6 percent chance that a man Obama’s age would die before completing one term in the White House. Even factoring in Obama’s cigarette usage, there is, on average, still only a 2.4 percent chance of death between Election Day this year and Jan. 20, 2013, according to the NAIC.

And since the actuarial risks of cigarette smoking are believed to wear off over time and Obama has not suffered from lung cancer in the past, the Democrat’s long-term odds could be closer to those of a non-smoker, according to several actuaries.

Powers observed that these statistics would be incomplete without factoring in the two men’s full medical histories, adding: “McCain’s expected age of death is probably higher than Obama’s because he’s already lived to the age of 72.”

But for voters, the most important question is how well the candidates are likely to fare during one or two terms in office. With Obama and McCain, it’s not clear that factoring in outside medical information would make the comparison any more flattering to the presumptive Republican nominee.

“It’s not just a matter of McCain being age 72,” said Lois Horwitz of Boston University’s department of mathematics and statistics. “It has to do with, of course, the underwriting characteristics of their lives.”

Actuaries say different insurance companies might factor in McCain’s history of cancer differently, but that in any case it probably wouldn’t help the Republican candidate’s odds.

“If they have a known condition they’re going to be looked at very carefully,” Luff explained. With melanoma, he said, “they’d probably look for five years with no recurrence.”

“My understanding is that with even the worst forms of skin cancer, if they’re caught early the lethality is not that great,” said Powers, who added: “The risk associated with that lesion would probably have more to do with the probability of having future lesions.”

Plus, Powers noted, serving four or eight years in the White House could wear down the presidential candidates even beyond what actuarial statistics would predict.

“Probably, there is a substantial effect associated with being in an office like the presidency,” said Powers. “I think people do believe it tends to age you rather quickly.”

McCain has acknowledged in the past that his advanced age would be a factor in the presidential campaign, particularly when it came to choosing a running mate.

In April, the Arizona senator told radio host Don Imus: “I’m aware of [the] enhanced importance of this issue given my age.”

As early as 2007 there was speculation that McCain might pledge to serve just one term, in light of his advanced years. McCain ruled out that possibility in an Aug. 20 interview with Politico, saying simply: “I’m not considering it.”

The McCain campaign has pushed back hard on any traces of ageism coming from the candidate’s critics, accusing Obama of age discrimination in May when the Illinois senator responded to a McCain statement by saying the Republican was “losing his bearings.”

During the Republican primaries, actor Chuck Norris also cited McCain’s age as a factor in his own decision to support former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee.

“That’s why I didn’t pick John to support, because I’m just afraid the vice president will wind up taking over his job within that four-year presidency,” Norris explained in January.