The Year In Review

Holy Crap! What a year. It seems like just yesterday we were toasting to the opening of 2008 and now its over. A lot has happened this year. Some of it good. Some of it bad. Some of it weird. And other parts were just damn funny. Here are some of the things that I remember about '08.


January -

• Barrack Obama wins the Iowa caucus.


• Brett Favre eliminates the Seattle Seahawks from the NFL Playoffs.


• Journey Man finds itself on the cancellation list because God hates me.


• Carolyn Kennedy endorses now President Elect Obama.


• Amy Winehouse goes to rehab. God may hate me but his brother is clearly looking out for my best interests.


• Also Barack gives an infamous speech after losing the New Hampshire primary. A legend is born.

February -

• Sarah Silverman announces that she's fucking Matt Damon (and yes that shit is still funny as hell).


• Will I. Am helps create the song of the year.


• Roger Clemens gets busted for 'roids.


• I get heckled for liking Sheryl Crow by a Sheryl Crow fan. February was a good month indeed.


• Obama wins more states during Super Tuesday than the (at that time) front runner. He gives a stirring speech in which he declares to us malcontents that "we are the ones that we have been waiting for"


• Hillary Clinton fans and cougar moms everywhere start to get pissed.

March -

• A pregnant man in Oregon surfaces in the news (BTW he's pregnant again after giving birth earlier this year).


• The now infamous (outside of Chicago) Jeremiah Wright opens his mouth and shows that stupidity comes in all colors.


• Obama gives a speech on race relations in our country further proving that he really could be the right man at the right time.

April -

• The home computer goes on the fritz sending the Admiral and I into a panic.


• The filming of a Porno movie in the middle of a McDonald's restaurant goes dreadfully wrong. Because sometimes these things just happen.

May -

• Keith Olbermann tells Mr. Bush to shut the hell up. When the man is right, he's right.


• Iron Man hits theaters.
  
• The California Supreme Court issues its ruling re Marriage Cases and finds that any law that excludes same sex couples from marrying is unconstitutional. Progress takes a huge step forward.


• Hillary Clinton is mathematically eliminated from the presidential race.


• Hillary subsequently continued to campaign.

June -

• It snows in Pullman, Washington.


• After being advised by doctors to shut down his season, Tiger Woods wins the U. S. Open on one leg, literally. He had knee surgery days later.


• Senator Obama becomes the presumptive nominee for the Democratic party.


• Hillary continues to campaign.

July -

• The Dark Night hits theaters.


• I and others are forced to stop giving out free hugs.


• Barack gives the world a hug (by way of a stirring speech) while in Berlin.

August -

• Senator Obama is officially nominated to represent the Democratic party as a candidate for President.


• He accepts the nomination while visiting the Pantheon.


• Granpa Johnny gives the nation the gift of Sarah Pailin. Would be comedians everywhere rejoice. In an unrelated story, porn sales increase drastically.

September -

• The 2008 NFL season kicks off and Fantasy Football begins. I begin to slip into a pigskin induced coma.


• Sarah begins doing interviews. Oh for the love of Mary and Joseph.


• Thanks to Sarah and Granpa, SNL get's a huge ratings boost. Steve Forbes rushes out to trademark the word "Maverick".


• The Admiral and I get hooked on Californication.


• The United States ends a 9 year Ryder Cup drought with a victory over Europe 16 1/2 to 11 1/2.


• Wall Street crashes like a Zepplin attempting to dock in Manchester, New Jersey.
  Granpa stands up Letterman to suspend his campaign and go fix the economy. He does an interview with Couric instead and the economy remains broken.


• But most importantly during the month of September, the planet Earth survived the immanent destruction that was to be caused by the Hadron Collider.

October -

• Orb proposes. This is how stalagmites are formed.


• The Admiral and I celebrate getting a year older.


• Sarah does another interview, because somewhere a deity really loves me.


• America is introduced to Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher a.k.a Joe the Plumber. We are then subjected to too many references of "_____ (first name) the _____ (profession)". Thanks Granpa.
  

November -

• On November 4th at 8 pm here in Seattle the polls closed in California, Oregon, Hawaii and my home state of Washington.


• At 8:01 every major news organization in the country declared that the next President of the United States of America would be Barrack Obama.


• Black man wins worst job in America (this was one of the headlines from The Onion).
  
• Proposition 8 passes in California and immediately begins to restrict the definition of marriage to a union between a man and a woman and eliminated the right of same sex copules to marry. Strom Thurmond smiles from beyond the grave.


• My football coma gets worse.


• A man in Oregon announces on Barbara Walters' show that he is pregnant, again!
  

December -

• The city of Seattle shuts down for a week due to global warming. In an effort to not make things worse the municipality refuses to salt the roads. My brain, and others', begins to explode.


• The Seattle Seahawks eliminate Brett Favre from playoff contention. Karma's a bitch.


• The 2008 fantasy football season comes to a glorious end.


• Sarah Pailin becomes a Granma (again). I'm tellin you that Corky kid is her daughter's.


• Another year passes us by.

Thanks for sharing '08 with me. I hope you'll all still be around this time next year. As a parting shot for 2008 I'll leave you with the best cover I heard all year.

A Perfect Circle -- Imagine

You've Got Your Jesus In My Peanut Butter

The ubiquitous odd one also known as Orb has arrived. On those days that I "think" I'm being clever it's in the hopes that I can emulate this guy. His Blog will be listed on the side bar but if you click here you'll jump straight to it.

Auld Lang Syne

Smothers Brothers


The Dick Van Dyke Show


Abbott And Costello

Best Made Plans

I had an entire post worked up in my head called "Rocket Man". It was gonna be pretty good too. I was gonna talk about my experience of watching "The Day The Earth Stood Still". I'd planned on telling you all about how the movie was ok and that even though I really like Keanu I just wish he'd stop playing Ted Logan. C'mon, you see it too.

I was going to say how much I appreciated the latest version of GORT and how they seemed to keep it close to the original.

Most importantly I was going to say that as "ok" as the movie was the best part was seeing the new Star Trek trailer again. I'd seen it before but there's something special about seeing it at the Imax. Seriously May 8th can't get here fast enough.

Star Trek





Lastly, I was going to finish it up with a clip of Shatner "singing" Rocket Man that no matter how many times I watch it I find myself near tears.

Rocket Man





But through the course of actually creating the above post I got distracted. Hey, it's not called random thoughts from a spaz for nuthin.

So here is the bonus vid that caused the distraction.

Enjoy!

X-Men: Origins

T.H.E.M. Is Everywhere

If you think you cna forgive the almost poor grammer in the title here's a clip of a new show I ran across. The premise - take a group of magicians and slight of hand experts and give them a few hidden cameras and they're own show. Hillarity ensues.

I imagine that this is what happens when a group of magicians get bored. Welcome to the new age.

Happy Holidays Everyone!

Her Other Answer Was All Of The Above

No big lead in on this one. I know the election is long over but recently the folks at Human Events, who incidentally also named our heroine the "Coservative of the year", asked Governor Sarah Palin "what was the biggest mistake made in the '08 campaign?"

What might her answer have been you ask? Oh the suspense is killing me...

“The biggest mistake made was that I could have called more shots on this: the opportunities that were not seized to speak to more Americans via media,” she told Human Events.

“I was not allowed to do very many interviews, and the interviews that I did were not necessarily those I would have chosen. But I was so thankful to have the opportunity to run with John McCain that I was not going to argue with the strategy decisions that some of his people were making regarding the media contacts.

“But if I would have been in charge, I would have wanted to speak to more reporters because that’s how you get your message out to the electorate.

Bwah hah hah hah...seriously?!? Oh gawd. The woman is a gold mine. Will the entertainment never cease?

Bitter Sweet Symphony

This week marks the end of the 2008 Fantasy Football Season. For me it has the same feeling that I get when I'm in the final chapters of a really good book. If you're a book enthusiast you know what I mean. You almost slow down a little during those final chapters so you can make it last longer.

Well since the FFL season happens in real time there's no stretching it out. Instead there's the inevitable Tuesday through Saturday vacuum of activities. Gone is the constant checking of updates and injuries. I can do away with the ongoing search of who's injured and who practiced. Buh bye to the incessant research of past weeks performances and trends. This is what is known as "feeling kind of Sunday.



Whatever will I do during the week without these things to keep me occupied.

So how did I do this year, you ask?

Well this year I participated in 5, yes 5, Fantasy Football Leagues. 2 of them were what we like to refer to as money leagues and the others were for pride - practice - phun (ok so I was running out of "p" words"). For any of you that happen to be fans of the Rat City Roller Girls, some of these team names may sound familiar.

Of the 5 teams 4 of them made the playoffs. 2 of these 4 made it to the semi finals and 1 made it to the championship round. The "$" indicates that this was a money league.

Punchin Judy ($): 5 - 8 not a very good showing in this league. Obviously I didn't make the playoffs in this league. It served as a bit of a disappointment.

Fresh Meat: Lost in the Quarter Final round of the playoffs to the eventual champion. Oh well.

Basket Casey: Also lost in the Quarter Final round of the playoffs to the eventual champion. A disturbing trend but since this wasn't a money league I'm less concerned.

Bruise Lee: Lost in the Semi Finals but managed to take 3rd place over all. Damnit!

Burnette Down ($): Currently winning the championship game by just over 1.5 points. I know it is an extremely slim margin but there is more than a fair chance that I will not only hold on to this lead but that will also be able to build on it tomorrow night. The bad news is that if I hold on to win, it'll be against my best friend. There's a bit of justice involved in that the last time he and I faced each other in the finals he won. In an unrelated event I got married that year. In an equally unrelated event this year Orb, my friend and opponent, got engaged this year. I'm not sayin...

At the risk of jinxing the frakking thing I'm going to call this a win. And now for absolutely no good reason what-so-ever I give you SEX. Enjoy!!

Throw The Bum Out

Our beloved Dubya is on his farewell tour right now. Currently he is in Iraq. You know...the place we "liberated" from tyranny. What sort of welcome did the all powervul oz receive? Here it is folks, your clip of the week.

Happy Birthday Melissa

A buddy of mine sends out a “clip of the week” each Friday. This weeks was damn good. Enjoy!


That's Not My Wife

Atom.com: Funny Videos | Atom Originals | Great Moments in Human Interaction

Long Dong Moron

The 14th Amendment to the United States Constitution provides that all persons born in the United States and subject to United States jurisdiction shall be citizens at birth. So here's the million dollar question. Why doesn’t Clarence Thomas know that Hawaii, birthplace to the President Elect, is part of the United States of America?

The U.S. Supreme Court will decide Friday whether to take up a case over president-elect Barack Obama’s citizenship — one of a few around the country seeking to nullify his election, but this one has an interesting lineage. It was referred to the high court by Justice Clarence Thomas, the court’s only African-American justice.

Maybe Thomas is just returning the favor — putting through a case that questions whether Obama should be president, after Obama said he wouldn't have picked Thomas for the high court.

The suit filed against New Jersey Secretary of State Nina Mitchell Wells contests Obama’s claims to citizenship and therefore to the presidency and initially sought to stay the election. Alan Keyes, who was defeated by Obama in a race for the U.S. Senate in 2004, has filed a similar suit.

During the campaign, a copy of Obama’s birth certificate was posted on his website, showing that he was born in Hawaii. A petition to stop the Electoral College from confirming Obama as the next president has been rejected by Justice David Souter.

Legal experts say the case has little chance of going anywhere.

Way to represent retard!

They're Queer, They're Here, Deal With It

In the ongoing saga of assholes versus non assholes I give you Proposition 8. One month ago today, in San Francisco California, Prop 8 passed and thereby rescinded the right that Gays and Lesbians had already been given to marry legally. IT TOOK THE RIGHT AWAY FROM THEM. The mere thought is so absurd that I don't know where to begin. And quite frankly it would take longer than any of us have for me to get out the anger that this has caused within me. So instead I'll offer up, in it's entirety, "Prop 8 The Musical". Enjoy!

We Live In A World That Has Walls

Right now we look back at guys like Clark Gable, Humphrey Bogart, Jimmy Stewart etc. and think about how great it must have been to have had a chance to see them flourish. And although we live in a different time now, we seem to be doing just fine on stud actors and actresses.

As over the top as this movie was it is still one of my favorites for mindless entertainment. Enough chatter - let's get to it.

Can't Go Wrong With This Cast


A Cordial Luncheon



Jack Bauer Takes The Stand


You Knew It Was Coming

"Addict" - Revisited

In a surprising turn of events (at least for me), the improbable has occured. It appears that due to the heroics of Stevie Slaton and the somewhat pedestrian efforts of Maurice Jones-Drew (I know Orb "too many names") this years FFL season will continue for yours truly.

To continue yesterdays theme...

8:17 pm - Steve Slaton scores from 7 yards out. At this point it feels like the proverbial "too little, too late". Oh well I had a good run.

8:31 pm - Steve Slaton scampers for a 40 yard "garbage time" touchdown to seal the game for both the Houston Texans and Burnette Down (the name of my FFL team).

I'm am Jack's complete and utter surprise.