The just about perfect list

The folks at Entertainment Weekly have compiled a few lists for us. I've just perused the list of 25 Awesome Action Heroes and dare I say its perfect. Enjoy!

Out out damn spot

Where's Walter when you need him? No not Walter Matthau...Walter Cronkite. This just in...according to J. K. Rawling, famed author of the Harry Potter series, one of its main characters is GAY. That's right folks gay. Not gay like really really happy either. We're talking gay the way Elton John is gay. No wonder he walked around in that robe all that time. I wonder what he wore underneath? More on the big D's supreme gayness after the jump.


Aren't you GLAAD?

Bring a donkey cuz there's never enough ass {NSFW}

Why can't cable TV interviews be as kick ass as these guys are? The folks at No Good TV allow their guests to speak free of censorship. If you're a Hollywood star or starlet and you think that your movie "fucking rocks!" then you should be allowed to say so.

Carrie Keagen (yes we're staring at your chest) is "grab your momma's hand cream and loosen your pants" hot, and she compels her guests to say "fuck" over and over and over again. To say that these clips and this site is NSFW is a fucking understatement.

Clip me Daddy and make it fucking good!!!

The Transformers



The Comebacks



Mr. Brooks

And on this day God said to the Summy Company "Kiss My Ass"

The clip has little to do with anything in this post. I just really miss these old cartoons. I could try and correlate it to the old saying that "it is better to be lucky than good because you can always get better" but even that might be a stretch. I have no idea if I'm getting better but there are certain moments when I can't help but realize just how lucky I am.

Friday was my birthday. To say that the celebration that the Admiral arranged was perfect would be a gross understatement. The two wishes I had she granted with relative ease. And the surprises and gifts that were bestowed upon me made me cry in that "I must have something in my eye you bastards" sort of way.


The Surprise
Most of my friends know that I'm just a big high school nerd that never really grew up. I watch Sci Fi and if I had room for it I'd probably still be collecting comic books. So how cool is it that Cyemm's place was completely decorated in Spider Man crap? The only thing cooler were the three gorgeous women dressed up as comic book characters. Seriously! How fuckin hot is that pic? You'd have cried too.


The Party
The party was hosted by Cyemm and his beautiful wife at a local bar called Eh Eh. You cannot beat the prices or the crowd at this bar. The normal clientele consist of people that I consider family. And the prices are on the honor system. It's stocked already but to keep it that way the simple unstated rule is to bring a bottle or three for others to share with you.

The Bounty

1. A back massager,
2. A couple hands of poker with Catwoman,
3. 4 bottles of expensive Scotch,
4. A Spider Man lamp and lunch box,
5. A half dozen very cool t-shirts,
6. A cool new hat,
7. A Bush-Cheney magnet that has to be seen rather than described,
8. And the best friends that anyone could ever possibly dream of.

Tear...

Dear Abby - Addendum

Often times in my zeal to berate and belittle others I close myself off to the bigger picture. I was so insensed at the advice columnist the other day that I went straight into what was wrong with what she suggested and didn't give nearly enough thought to what should have been said.

My answer (and by connection my "advice") was at best incomplete. Fortunately, I am surrounded by folks that are willing to share their perspectives and point out where I've gone astray.

Here now (in its entirety) for everyone is what someone that gave this some real thought has to say to our poor lost soul.

Dear Jennifer,

My own husband would say, have a great time it’s just sex! I don’t agree. It’s not just sex if you are having sex with another person outside your marriage without telling your husband, it’s cheating. Unfortunately talking to your husband about your wild attraction to another man may not be an option.

“My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is supportive, funny, successful and loving.” What I really hear you saying here is, he’s great but does nothing for me anymore. I want to get some on the side and need some excitement, but don’t want there to be any consequences.Unless both you AND your husband know about the affair and can both be objective about the situation, then there is a good possibility it will ruin your relationship – silently. You will probably start acting differently towards your husband, at some point you might think you’re in love with the other man, you will most likely feel guilty … there are a myriad of possibilities.

There are a small percentage of people that can live within an open relationship, successfully. However, keep in mind even an open relationship has it’s boundaries that you will need to determine for yourselves. If the doctor is something you really want and need to experience AND you want to keep your husband, then I suggest broaching the subject of bringing other people into your lives sexually. If your husband is ok with the idea, then move slowly. Maybe you’ll find he’s ok with you being with the doctor, AS LONG AS YOU TELL HIM.

Maybe you feel threatened by your husband being with another woman alone, but in certain situations its ok if you’re there too. Find out.My own husband would say being the doctor could also give you a greater appreciation for the people you already share your life with. I say - not if you’re hiding it from the people that you love.

~ THE ADMIRAL

Yes folks not only is she hot but she's smarter than I am too!

Dear Abby

I could have been an advice columnist. I read this earlier today and chuckled along until I got to the part where Margo started giving "objective" advice. The worst part about any of this is that I was reading it to begin with. My response to the writer is below. As a side note, I'm blaming Grey's Anatomy for all of this.

The Doctor Is In -- and Hot!Thu Oct 11, 2:00 AM ET
DEAR MARGO: I work in a male-dominated field and am therefore around lots of men every day. Not until I went to see this physician did I feel what I guess people call chemistry. My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is supportive, funny, successful and and loving. However, I am wildly attracted to this other man.

I made up two reasons to have sham appointments. For the last one I dressed as sexy as I could on a workday, and flirted as best I could without seeming too forward. He was friendly but did not initiate anything.

Then, I saw the physician in the grocery store, and he made it a point to smile at me but not speak. My husband and child were with me. At any rate, I have a follow-up appointment in about one month. Should I be forward with him? (And if so, how?) I do not want to lose my husband, but I am interested in this other man.

--- JENNIFER

DEAR JEN: You should know that I am a doctor's wife. Granted, he's a heart surgeon whose patients are knocked out and under anesthesia, making it difficult for his women patients to make goo-goo eyes at him . . . but I will speak for my sister physicians' wives.

Try to understand that attraction to doctors is somewhat about their status as healers and seemingly all-wise, and the appeal often involves a fantasy. The balance of power is never equal: The patient is the needy one; the doctor the "fixer." If this man is a psychiatrist, he could lose his license for beginning an affair with a patient. If he is a general practitioner, it would be unethical at best.

This is not to say that doctors don't fool around or date patients, just that the "chemistry" you're feeling may be something else. I would dial back any ideas you have about being forward. My instinct is that this flirt is not reciprocal.

--- MARGO, KNOWLEDGEABLY

Here's my translation of Margo's response

Dear Jennifer,

You shallow whining little Bitch! "My Doctor is hot". "Whoa is me". However will you live with yourself. People like you only see whats on the surface and don't spend any time working to see the real beauty. What you know is that he's a good looking guy that makes a shitload of money because he's a doctor.

Come to think of it you're not only shallow but you're also conceited. "I wore my sexiest outfit". I can't believe that didn't work you f%cking hussy. Next time why don't you just de-pants him and blow him on the spot. Then in between the bob and nod you can ask him if he'd like to take the relationship further.

Its because of people like you that I have to hide from my own troubles by analyzing everyone else's. You're such a c@nt. He doesn't want you. He only wants me. Stay away from him and never write me again.

--Margo Knowledgeably


and here's what I'd have told her.


Dear Jennifer,

Have a great time! It's just sex. Let me say that again - IT'S JUST SEX!!!

You've said your husband is a nice guy so it doesn't sound as if you're wanting to leave him for Doc Hottie McHotterson. It sounds like you just want to know if someone that attractive and successful will be equally impressive in the sack. He won't be, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to find out for yourself.

Short of the health risks (that come with having sex with a stranger) and the affect your amorous intentions may have on your Dr. Patient relationship (I think it might be illegal on his part) this encounter could have a lot of positive benefits. It may increase your own level of self esteem, and could also give you a greater appreciation for the people you already share your life with.

And if he won't give you a spin send me a note. I'm sure some of my friends would be happy to help you out.

~C

PS - Are you hot? Please send a photo of you in the aforementioned sexy outfit. *wink*

Nascar is the new Black

So this just in...Politicians say dumb shit that gets them in trouble. This weeks Capitol offender is Bennie Thompson (D-Miss). To make a long story short he was talking about the nasty things that he believes can happen to you if you're in a crowded area (concerts, sporting events, orgies) for an extended amount of time.

OK so I threw the orgy thing in there.

So this is at least what he was trying to say. It came out as people that watch Nascar have cooties. Personally I'm a little disappointed to know that if you were able to get the pants off one of those hot lil southern girls you'd find yourself face to face with the Eye of Sauron. *Sigh*

Feel free to read all about Beenie's gaffeafter the jump.

Oh and if you're wondering how any of this relates to the hotness that is Natalie...it doesn't. But if I must Bennie and Nat have both at some point been on This Week with George Stephanopoulos. Screw you for judging me.

The Queen is dead...Long live the Queen!

So in an effort to post more...and to not seem so totally delinquent in my "Oh Tee Dubs"...I'm expanding the series from just drinks to include movies and any other damn thing that hits my fancy.

"Wanna ride a bike?"

Here now Weebles and Wobbles is your Movie Of The Week.

In 1998 the beauitful and extremely talented Cate Blanchett lost out to the irritating no talent hack that is Gwyneth Paltrow at the Oscars. The category was Best Actress. Paltry (ahem), I mean Paltrow won for her role as Viola De Lesseps in Shakespear In Love. It was a good movie. Extremely entertaining well written and the acting wasn't completely horrible. Paltrow didn't botch it and she was (at the time) one of America's darlings. Bleh.

Blanchett played Elizabeth. Queen Elizabeth. "Declared illegitimate aged 3. Tried for treason aged 21. Crowned Queen aged 25." She was nothing short of magnificent. But the story wasn't a happy one and this writer believes that it cost her the crowning achievment of her industry.

Well I'm pleased to inform you all that Blanchett and Elizabeth are both back in Elizabeth The Golden Age. The movie opens on October 12th and maybe, just maybe, a previous injustice can finally be corrected.