I could have been an advice columnist. I read this earlier today and chuckled along until I got to the part where Margo started giving "objective" advice. The worst part about any of this is that I was reading it to begin with. My response to the writer is below. As a side note, I'm blaming Grey's Anatomy for all of this.
The Doctor Is In -- and Hot!Thu Oct 11, 2:00 AM ET
DEAR MARGO: I work in a male-dominated field and am therefore around lots of men every day. Not until I went to see this physician did I feel what I guess people call chemistry. My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is supportive, funny, successful and and loving. However, I am wildly attracted to this other man.
DEAR MARGO: I work in a male-dominated field and am therefore around lots of men every day. Not until I went to see this physician did I feel what I guess people call chemistry. My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is supportive, funny, successful and and loving. However, I am wildly attracted to this other man.
I made up two reasons to have sham appointments. For the last one I dressed as sexy as I could on a workday, and flirted as best I could without seeming too forward. He was friendly but did not initiate anything.
Then, I saw the physician in the grocery store, and he made it a point to smile at me but not speak. My husband and child were with me. At any rate, I have a follow-up appointment in about one month. Should I be forward with him? (And if so, how?) I do not want to lose my husband, but I am interested in this other man.
--- JENNIFER
DEAR JEN: You should know that I am a doctor's wife. Granted, he's a heart surgeon whose patients are knocked out and under anesthesia, making it difficult for his women patients to make goo-goo eyes at him . . . but I will speak for my sister physicians' wives.
Try to understand that attraction to doctors is somewhat about their status as healers and seemingly all-wise, and the appeal often involves a fantasy. The balance of power is never equal: The patient is the needy one; the doctor the "fixer." If this man is a psychiatrist, he could lose his license for beginning an affair with a patient. If he is a general practitioner, it would be unethical at best.
This is not to say that doctors don't fool around or date patients, just that the "chemistry" you're feeling may be something else. I would dial back any ideas you have about being forward. My instinct is that this flirt is not reciprocal.
--- MARGO, KNOWLEDGEABLY
Here's my translation of Margo's response
Dear Jennifer,
You shallow whining little Bitch! "My Doctor is hot". "Whoa is me". However will you live with yourself. People like you only see whats on the surface and don't spend any time working to see the real beauty. What you know is that he's a good looking guy that makes a shitload of money because he's a doctor.
Come to think of it you're not only shallow but you're also conceited. "I wore my sexiest outfit". I can't believe that didn't work you f%cking hussy. Next time why don't you just de-pants him and blow him on the spot. Then in between the bob and nod you can ask him if he'd like to take the relationship further.
Its because of people like you that I have to hide from my own troubles by analyzing everyone else's. You're such a c@nt. He doesn't want you. He only wants me. Stay away from him and never write me again.
--Margo Knowledgeably
and here's what I'd have told her.
Dear Jennifer,
Have a great time! It's just sex. Let me say that again - IT'S JUST SEX!!!
You've said your husband is a nice guy so it doesn't sound as if you're wanting to leave him for Doc Hottie McHotterson. It sounds like you just want to know if someone that attractive and successful will be equally impressive in the sack. He won't be, but that shouldn't stop you from trying to find out for yourself.
Short of the health risks (that come with having sex with a stranger) and the affect your amorous intentions may have on your Dr. Patient relationship (I think it might be illegal on his part) this encounter could have a lot of positive benefits. It may increase your own level of self esteem, and could also give you a greater appreciation for the people you already share your life with.
And if he won't give you a spin send me a note. I'm sure some of my friends would be happy to help you out.
~C
PS - Are you hot? Please send a photo of you in the aforementioned sexy outfit. *wink*
1 comment:
Dear Jennifer,
My own husband would say, have a great time it’s just sex! I don’t agree. It’s not just sex if you are having sex with another person outside your marriage without telling your husband, it’s cheating. Unfortunately talking to your husband about your wild attraction to another man may not be an option.
“My husband is an absolutely wonderful man and father. He is supportive, funny, successful and loving.” What I really hear you saying here is, he’s great but does nothing for me anymore. I want to get some on the side and need some excitement, but don’t want there to be any consequences.
Unless both you AND your husband know about the affair and can both be objective about the situation, then there is a good possibility it will ruin your relationship – silently. You will probably start acting differently towards your husband, at some point you might think you’re in love with the other man, you will most likely feel guilty … there are a myriad of possibilities.
There are a small percentage of people that can live within an open relationship, successfully. However, keep in mind even an open relationship has it’s boundaries that you will need to determine for yourselves. If the doctor is something you really want and need to experience AND you want to keep your husband, then I suggest broaching the subject of bringing other people into your lives sexually. If your husband is ok with the idea, then move slowly. Maybe you’ll find he’s ok with you being with the doctor, AS LONG AS YOU TELL HIM. Maybe you feel threatened by your husband being with another woman alone, but in certain situations its ok if you’re there too. Find out.
My own husband would say being the doctor could also give you a greater appreciation for the people you already share your life with. I say - not if you’re hiding it from the people that you love.
~ THE ADMIRAL
Post a Comment