Top 5 Most Quoteable Movies

I know I owe you folks a “Top 5” for Science Fiction but the recent conversation of the top 5 most quotable movies has taken on a life of its own. Quite frankly if I don’t post about this today the entire thing may get out of hand and chaos could ensue. Either that or I’ll just get bored of the conversation altogether. Yep…definitely one of those.

The biggest problem seems to be in limiting this to just 5 movies. Sometimes it just can’t be done. But since I’m not one to shy away from a challenge (and as you all know I love me a good loophole) here’s the list of the number one most quotable movies in the more easily definable 5 movie categories (doin work son, doin work):

Guy Movie -

This was a tough one for me because the easy answer was going to be Die Hard. You know all the big lines, “Come out the coast, we’ll get together have a few laughs.” “Yippee kai yay mutha fucka” . “I was in Jr. High dickhead”. “Fists with your toes. Son of a bitch”.

But as quotable as this one was there’s another that just stood out above the rest of them. Top Gun was cheesy. If you’ve watched it lately you will be forced to admit that it is a horrible movie. But in its wake every guy I know had seen it. Most of them were trying to find a leather bomber jacket. And more than just a few were trading in their Bon Jovi locks for a Slider buzz cut. We all felt the need, the need for speed. We went this way and he went the other before we “asked Hollywood where’d he go?” Only to have someone reply, “where’d who go…” And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to say to one of my friends (or had it said to me) as I was getting in trouble with one of our significant others “Goose I can’t reach the ejection handle, you’re gonna have to punch us out.” and how many times have you been asked a question only to respond back “negative ghost rider, the pattern is full.

The most quotable guy movie is Top Gun. Honorable mention goes to Die Hard.

Horror/Action -

These movies make their mark on the one liner. It’s typically given when the hero (or heroine) slays the “monster”. But it’s not limited to that. Arnold Schwarzenegger is famous for these types of things. “If it bleeds, we can kill it”. “I’ll be back”. “Stick around.” “Come with me if you want to live”. You get the idea. But I couldn’t just narrow this one down to an Arnie movie that has nothing but solid quotes in it.

With all that said there is a movie that stands above the rest. Aliens! “Sigourney Weaver, Bill Paxton, Paul Reiser, Michael Bein. You know the list and you know the movie. And yeah, you know the quotes as good as, if not better than I do. “Short controlled bursts”. “I gotta question Sarge. How do we get outtta this chicken shit outfit?” “Every paycheck a fortune, every meal is a banquet, every formation a parade, I love The Corp”. “We’re gonna take off and nuke the site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.” “Game over man, game over!” I could do this all day folks but I think you get the idea.

The answer to the most quotable Horror/Action movie is easily Aliens. Honorable mention goes to Predator.

Chick Flick -

There is a certain formula to an entertaining Chick Flick. But I have an unspoken formula that some of you may not have considered. It’s simple. Take one part Rob Reiner, and add a dash of Billy Crystal and you can expect a winner. Take Sleepless in Seattle. A good enough movie in its own right but Tom Hanks is no Billy Crystal when it comes to comedic timing. And as much as YOU might like Tom Hanks you know I’m right. Take a look at When Harry Met Sally. “Vaiter, dere is too much pepper in my popricash. But I would be proud to partake of your peacan pie”. Or, “I took her to an Etheopian restaurant and I said to her this will be fast we’ll order two empty plates and then pay the bill.“ And of course the all famous momma Reiner’s “I’ll have what she’s having”. No matter where you look in this movie each scene is filled with great quotes. In fact it’s almost as if that’s the way it was edited.

But as good and as quotable as that movie is I’ve got to give the nod to The Princess Bride. This movie was never a big box office draw but I don’t know anyone that hasn’t seen it. And the quotes are easy. “As you wish”. “Marriage” said with a really bad lisp. “I am The Dread Pirate Roberts”. “Wesley, what about the R.O.U.S’? You mean Rodents Of Unusual Size? I don’t believe they exist.” “My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die”. And my personal favorite comes from none other than Billy Crystal. “Have fun stormin’ the castle…”

There are plenty of other classics in this gem of a movie but all of them support my stance of The Princess Bride being the most quotable chick flick there is. Honorable mention goes to When Harry Met Sally.

Sports Movie -

A good sports comedy is filled with solid quotes. Field of Dreams, “If you build it they will come”. Happy Gilmore, “Uh oh Happy learned how to putt”. Caddy Shack “50 bucks says the Snails kid picks his nose”. Pick any sports comedy and you will find a plethora of solid gold movie quotes. Hell, even James Vanderbeek adds value with more than just a few solid quotes from Varsity Blues. “Playing football at West Cayman High might be the opportunity of your lifetime but I don’t want your life”. If you ever get the chance to play a bit part in a sports movie take it. You will be forever immortalized. Enter Susan Surandon, Kevin Costner, in Bull Durham. There are so many good quotes in this movie that it’s not even fair. Take this rant for example. When asked what he believes in Krash Davis responds, “I believe in the soul. The cock, the pussy. The small of a woman’s back. High fiber. Good scotch. Soft core pornography. I believe that the novels of Susan Sontag are self indulgent overrated crap. I believe that there outta be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe Lee Harvey acted alone. I believe in opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve. And I believe in long slow soft wet kisses that last for three days. Good night.”

When asked about my every year Sunday ritual I quote Bull Durham. “If you think you’re winning because you’re wearing woman’s underwear you are.” But, and this was tough for me to admit, as much as I personally love Bull Durham and it’s quote ability I am compelled to give the nod to Major League. Whether it’s Wesley Snipes as Willie Mays Hayes or Charlie Sheen as Wild Thing Vaughn. “The press seems to think that we’d be doing everyone a favor if we just give up and shoot ourselves. But I’ve got a better idea. I think we should stick around long enough to give them all a great big shit burger to heat. “Where you goin Meat?” The answer, “about 90 feet” Major League is not as quotable by me as Bull Durham is but I recognize that it is more quotable by the rest of the masses.

So with that said the most quotable sports movie is….Bull Durham. Get your own Blog, this one’s mine. Honorable mention goes to Major League.

Cult Classic - Last on the list is the cult classic. Now by some stretches of the definition It’s A Wonderful Life could be fall into this category. You can all relax. I’m not going to make a case for that here. For me a cult classic is one of those movies that get’s shown at your local theater at midnight on a Thursday. Tank Girl had a shot at this list but there’s just not enough there to cut the proverbial mustard. Lil’ Shop of Horrors…mmmm…good stuff but not quite. But there are a couple that stand out. Anything from the Evil Dead series is a classic. Can you ever really go wrong with Bruce Campbell? “My hand!!” “This is my boom stick…” “The only thing you’re running is Jack and shit and Jack just left town”. However the big fat hairy but in the room belongs to Franky of the Rocky Horror Picture Show. The entire movie is one long cult classic quote. So much so that it made its fame by having its audience recite the lines and know them as well as the actors did so that they could adlib as necessary. Can there be any doubt here? “It’s just a jump to the left” “What’s for dinner?” Meatloaf. “What’s for dessert?” Janet! “I’m dirty, bless my soul, sex, drugs, and rock and roll.”

The truth is that short of reciting every line and every song I couldn't do this justice so I'll let the following clip do my dirty work for me. Honorable mention goes to all things Bruce Cambpell.